hey whats up. I've been getting into songwriting lately and I got really bored at work today so I wrote this up. let me know what you think about it

It seems like only yesterday
My dreams were calm and clear
You chose to leave, and now my nights
Are full of doubt and fear

I hope that you are hearing me
Wherever you may be
Your mom cried on the phone last night
I cried for what I’ve seen

For all those you have left behind
And all the answers we can’t find
You will not be forgotten here
We miss you since you disappeared

I tried to call your phone that night
You had a dead battery
Went by your place to check it out
Unaware of what I’d see

I went inside and held my breath
The smell was foul and strong
I found you lying on your bed
You weren’t dead very long


What have you done? Where did you go?
Why is this world, growing so cold?
The reasons for this, we’ll never know
No secrets that, we can unfold.

I saw the pills beside the bed,
A few still in your hand
The problems you were dealing with
I’ll never understand

Your friends and I will mourn your loss
Wish you were here today
The world was a much better place
Before you went away
good word choice, the story is very well told.
but i like when stories are not told on a tale basis, i like the use of metaphores... and here i find a plain story that leaves nothing for my immagination.
i know its good, but i didn't enjoy it