#1
I dunno. I wrote this last night in about thirty minutes when I was thinking about a girlfriend that I once had. She left because her dad was in the army and moved to work all over the world. I wrote this quite easy because it all came out.

I have not wrote much, as before, I want to write a bit and then if you think I should continue I will.

So, here it is... don't be too harsh lol.

Time Can Wait


It’s not long now
Ten minutes to be exact
But this small period of time
Is going to last forever

So let's build these moments up to sky
So I can remember them
When I die
But when I’m gone I still won’t let them go
Every kiss we had
Every laugh we shared
I remember them all because it was me and you


But this time …
Time can wait …
Everything else can stop
‘Cause all that matters
Is me and you
It has always been true

And this time…
Time will wait
Everything else will stop
‘Cause all that matters
Is me and you
It has always been true
Last edited by Jmac5 at Nov 9, 2007,
#2
man alright it was short and i think you could've kept it going a little longer but i like it because it gets straight to the point you stay on topic which is nice some people tend to wander but hey i do it too. i really dont think you should change anything about just add a little more to it if you can i mean for all i know you said all you had to say in those short paragraphs but anyways yea its good to me
so anyways check out my newest post its called
girls are ****ing evil the link is
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=709143
#4
it was pretty good, could make it a little longer if you want to, but you don't have to, it's a good song, and I agree with kristjantomasso, keep writing and you'll get better the more you write.
#5
Quote by Jmac5

It’s not long now
Ten minutes to be exact
But this small period of time
Is going to last forever


surely can't tell you what to write since it's your piece, but if you just changed the wording around a little in this first paragraph, I think you would have one hell of a stanza going ...

It's not long I know
ten minutes to be exact
a small piece of time
but forever it lasts

not really sure about the rest. It all seemed pretty boring, or more "just like everything/everyone else" what made this girl so special that after a few years you still think of her? Try and put that into words.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#7
Thanks for your comments everyone, but I did clearly say that it was only a part of the song and I wanted to see if you guys thought I should continue.