#1
with your peaceful eyes
please don't deceive me
words of altered meanings
you can't confuse me

you were in the dream
i've had for so long
but when it came to me
everything just felt wrong

did I make a mistake
did I deserve it this bad
your secrets kept concealed
your trust i thought i had

counting seconds as they pass
watching minutes slowly die
the final hour comes to say
this is my final goodbye

hey UG,
i edited the poem i did yesterday.i will also change the title because a lot of people think it was a satanic song. what do you think of the lyrics now? what do you think the title should be
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.
#2
goodbye; counting seconds; mislaid dreams
Quote by kriscornella2@g
No. Argument if i hear fall out boy i get so angry i am more likely to kick someones ass than when i listen to iron maiden



Quote by GiantRaven
****ing Coheed freaks...


FREE WARPED TOUR TICKETS!!!
zune. i <3 my turd brown 30 gig.
#3
although its not really my style it wasnt bad, nice flow and all that, seems kinda like all the topics and lyrics have been done befor but that may just be me, but overall it was pretty good man, maybe take a look at mine, as the clock ticks on
#4
Counting Seconds because that kind of feels like the chorus. I applaud you
I love Cheezy Poofs, you love Cheezy Poofs,
If we didn't eat Cheezy Poofs, We'd be lame!

WHY SO SERIOUS SON!?
#6
thanks for the response guys,i'll probably use counting seconds.
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.
#7
Had a good, steady flow. The lyrics weren't all too bad either, not too complex, not to basic, so for me, it was good.