#1
This is a continuation of "Reaction to Fire" I decided this would be something fun to try, so there is going to be 2 more of these, following the same format, and each having a corelation to an element (fire, earth, air, water).

The Need For Water:

The drought has killed many men,
And it won’t spare a single one,
We thought power was our strong suit,
Gold and silver are never the loot

Overestimated and Underestimated
That is the truth beneath the ocean
The blood we shed is enough for our ambition,
The drought likes what it has done.

I don’t regret taking charge of this situation,
I know this mess is my creation,
Finding the perfect angles will be a hard task
But in the end, this will be a mere laugh,

Although people wanted the riches
Now all they want is to sleep with the fishes
And although the people wanted education
It has lead to hesitation

Although the drought has left many unfed
We all have to unite, us thousand men,
And although dreams make us free in deed
The need for water is a greater need,


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#2
Quote by thefoundationof


The Need For Water:

The drought has killed many men,
And it won’t spare a single one,
We thought power was our strong suit,
Gold and silver are never the loot
Ehh. I don't like that rhyme. Maybe just me, though. It seems like the first and third lines are missing a syllable.

Overestimated and Underestimated
That is the truth beneath the ocean
The blood we shed is enough for our ambition,
The drought likes what it has done.
No complaints.

I don’t regret taking charge of this situation,
I know this mess is my creation,
Finding the perfect angles will be a hard task
But in the end, this will be a mere laugh,
I like those rhymes.

Although people wanted the riches
Now all they want is to sleep with the fishes
And although the people wanted education
It has lead to hesitation
Hmmm. One more syllable in the last line, me thinks. I dig the rhymes.

Although the drought has left many unfed
We all have to unite, us thousand men,
And although dreams make us free in deed
The need for water is a greater need,
Nothing wrong with this stanza.



Nice song. Your punctuation could use some work, but overall a good job.
Member #4 of the "I have parents over 50 and i'm a teen" club, pm tanglewoodguit to join.
#3
Intresting to say the least. You vaguely explained the meaning of life with four simple concepts Water, earth, fire and air. With terror and war scattered for riches like power belonged to it. But can a ***** be called a virgin if not manipulated so? Can a mammal's baby be birthed from a single 'couple'?
#5
Yeah, I agree with altosaxgeek5, the last two lines of the first stanza don't sit well with me. It seems kind of dry, maybe a substitute for "loot" and different wording for strong suit because it seems slightly cliché. Other than that great work. Please crit one of the ones in my sig
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