#2
Thanks for the crit!

So, as I listen, this isn't really my style but it the guitar riff(s) sound good. The drums can come out a bit. The double bass would add a lot, but I can barely hear it. The guitar is overpowering in general. Vocals are good but they're hard to hear over the guitar. Same thing with the bass. I like the part that appears to be the chorus ("how long can I last"). The vocals are catchy there. Oh, and the vocal harmonies sound good when they happen.

Oh nice, the solo just came in. It sounds really good and whatever effect you put on it adds a ton. It's not very complex, but I personally think less is more. So it's fine with me. The ending was simple but I thought it fit well.

So like I said I'm not really into metal, but I actually liked this. Guitar and vocals were especially good. The guitar definitely needs to be brought back a bit though. The drums, bass, and vocals could come out more, but that may come as a consequence of turning the guitar down. You may be able to get some better feedback from someone who knows more about metal, but from my view the only problem with this song is the mix (and it's not terribly mixed, just a few minor things). It's really an awesome song, just not quite my style. Very nice job!
#4
Sounds good man, definitely a well thought out piece. I normally don't listen to this type of stuff but I can honestly say I like it. All parts seem to be well played and in time. I like the vocals for the most part although it sounds a little too dejected at certain points (and I realize that is the point, it fits with the song, but it seems overdone at points...I really don't know how to explain it other than it sounds like a sigh). I would probably work to more of a crescendo in the solo towards the end of the song, really build it up like "pride before a fall" (the music seems to do this for the most part anyway but I can really see a really cool guitar duet rising in the music right at the end and then colliding at one note into nothing). Basically make the music echo the lyrics, build up to a peak and then destroy it into silence, maybe even a sad piano melody as it trails away. Very cool though, your work definitely paid off.

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=710556
#5
thanks guys. yeah, it is a pretty sad song....most metal is lol. the vocals were what took me the longest to figure out. i had a terrible time thinking of a chorus melody./
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#6
A little more work on the mix and this could be great, turn down the guitar for the most part and then emphasize the solo somehow; harmonised guitar parts would be one way to do this. the drums are a little unclear but the cymbal sounds are nice. The lyrics are clearly well thought out as is the melody and the care you put into this really shows.

The composistion is excellent, nothing boring and your singing is quite unique.

Great work and thanks for the crit.
Too much gain = Ears in pain
#8
I really like your voice, sounds alot like Maynard from Tool. It's a very dark and 'brooding' song. I like the drum 'solo' at the end. I think the guitar tone kinda sticks out, sounds kinda crappy, although that could be more a personal thing. And are the drums fake? I thought they sounded real.

Good work
#10
I have no idea, i'm horrible at getting a tone i like lol. There's probably nothing wrong with it, just for my taste(which means jack all when it comes down to it) it seems like theres too much treble, or mids, or somthing haha sorry i cant really explain.

Actually, i'm listening to it again, i take back what i said, i dont find it that bad, and the song still rules
#11
Excellent recording. The tone is awesome, and like everyone's been saying, just fiddle with your mix. The vocals definitely need a little crank up. The harmonies are great, by the way, mostly. Also, the solo's rockin'.

Just as a general idea, this is the "pride before the fall." The fall seems a little chaotic, like everything around you is falling apart. Maybe the music should follow the same idea? Just a thought.

Edit: It's a little tool-esque. Intentional?
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#12
well, i do like tool alot, but i didn't have them in mind when i wrote it. thanks guys.
Too cool for a signature.
#13
Very tool-esque vocals, I really like this alternative metal track, the vocals sound a little too loud with the rest of the music, I think they would sound better if they were a little quieter as it would help the relative softness of the vocals blend with the harsher guitar sound.

PS - Nice guitar riff
#14
thanks for the advice. i have a hard time mixing the vocals in just right.
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#15
man, those are some rockin' harmonies. both guitar and vocal ones. keep it up man, it's good stuff!
#16
thanks. the guitar ones are easier....i'm always a little unsure about the tonality of my vocals.
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