#1
I'm going to try to keep this short, but just let me give a little background first. I joined my band almost three years ago, with the attitude of "whatever, I'll try it," because at the time I didn't care for being in a band cause I knew how hard it is to work with people, basicly. Since then we've grown to a pretty big and respected local figure in central Florida. Before I joined, though, I was pursuing my own ambitions including music. I was writing a full CD which I would track all myself (I play guitar, drums, bass, and I sing and write synth stuff). At the time, although I didn't know it, I was far, faarr from ready. But now I am.

My band has lost steam, so to speak. Nothing is flowing anymore - and I think its because I'm not supposed to be in it anymore. And furthermore, I just can't see the personalities in the band working together to a further level than that which we've already reached. Above all my main reason for quitting is, simply put, my band doesn't align with my own ambitions anymore. For us to go where we want to, we all have to be in it %100, and I'm not. What I want to do as a solo artist of sorts is far more important to me than this current band. Yeah, there is a chance my band will make it. But really even then I'd still be looking back.

If I quit my band, I can get a job and save up, begin writing at my full potential, and cultivate a relationship with our producer/sound engineer. That last one is pretty important because we have been attempting to record with him (his recordings have "big studio" quality), but he's pretty flakey, for lack of a better word. He'll want to record one day, and then he'll want to never record another band again the next day. Thats why if I want to track my stuff with him I have to get close to him (I have been before, but that was basicly ruined when our drummer dated his ex and just started acting like a dick - things that probably have effected our recording agenda).

So basicly, my mind is made up. This is going to be a huge change for me, because the last couple years of my life have centered around this band. I've made sacrifices for it, because I used to think that I had plenty of time to waste on it. Almost every friend I have right now is because of the band. People recognize me when I go places as well, like they know I'm in my band because they're a fan. I'll miss that, and I'll miss doing shows. This is going to suck, really. But I need to do it. So what do you guys think? Am I making a horrible decision? Has anyone been through this before, and if so can you offer advice/comfort?

Feel free to ask questions to better understand my situation, I didn't cover it very well, but now you guys have a basic idea.
We're only strays.
#2
Do what would make you happy.

So if you don't wanna be in a band, quit and do your solo thing.
#3
Why not do your solo stuff as like a side project. It seems like your band isn't doing much right now, so go record your own stuff. I think that you should try to keep creative outlets open as possible. I flip back in forth creatively between the two bands that I'm in.

But if you are truely unhappy, the I would leave and if your band does make it, then we'll read about you in their wikipedia article.
#4
Wrong forum.
Reported.
No I'm just joking, do what you like I will not tell you what to do.
#5
If the band isn't gelling together anymore then you might as well quit because a band that isn't working well is a band that isn't worth seeing. If you are more ambitous about your solo career, go for that instead.
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yeah fire him secretly... thats what im doing except im firing myself and secretly joining someone elses band

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#6
Talk to your band-mates, they're the ones who it'll really hit. You have a whole career plan in mind while they still think they have a full band. I've never been in a band before, but if you don't want to be a dick, at least find a replacement or something.
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#7
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
People recognize me when I go places as well, like they know I'm in my band because they're a fan. I'll miss that...


That's sort of the same concept as selling out: Making a choice based on the popularity you'll gain from it. So, do what you believe to be your calling, and don't sell out your solo opportunity dude! It sounds like that's what you want to do, so do it!
#9
I hate this decision, I'm at it right now. My band is gaining respect, but somehow something's wrong. Sorry to hear you're going through this right now, I think the best thing to do would be to do what you enjoy which is solo. But of course I'm going through the same thing myself so I might not be the best person to get advice from.
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#10
Quote by Captain Insano
Why not do your solo stuff as like a side project. It seems like your band isn't doing much right now, so go record your own stuff. I think that you should try to keep creative outlets open as possible. I flip back in forth creatively between the two bands that I'm in.

But if you are truely unhappy, the I would leave and if your band does make it, then we'll read about you in their wikipedia article.


Well that is possible but the thing is I can't work nights because of the shows we do, and the town we live in is full of low lifes and nobody here, NOBODY, is aware of a life beyond the friggin city limits. I cannot get hired if I can't work nights. I've been trying since the beginning of this year. What we're doing now is basicly trying to record, but we're not even certain if we'll be able to finish half of the CD. We've already paid the engineer money and its going to take more to record further and we can't even agree on spending in between recording or merch. So we're in limbo basicly, and I'm supposed to be recording but like I said, it could very well be wasted time.
We're only strays.
#11
Keep in mind that even though you can't get the solo things literatlly at 100% now, and you may be able to save up money with a job NOW, if your band makes it like you say they will, then the funding and things like that from a record label with give you greater area to think and to play and to move with your own music, while not wrecking a good thing
#12
Quote by Phoenix-Kun
Keep in mind that even though you can't get the solo things literatlly at 100% now, and you may be able to save up money with a job NOW, if your band makes it like you say they will, then the funding and things like that from a record label with give you greater area to think and to play and to move with your own music, while not wrecking a good thing


I can't waste time with my band. Waiting for that to happen might be longer than I expect, it also might make this opportunity I have now void. If I decide to wait on my band, I might wake up one morning in the back of a van, turn on the laptop and listen to a new band thats playing MY MUSIC. See what I mean? The stuff I'm writing is good. A lot better than my band's music. It has a lot of new ideas. I know its a lot to say, but I could be about to make the definitive music of the 2000's. I don't want to wait too long and see all of my breakthroughs accomplished by someone else. Plus, theres just not much at all to be gained by sticking with my band until they're signed. Sure, I'll know a little more about how things work but thats it.
We're only strays.
#13
You sound like you've made up your mind, so why you're still asking for suggestions I havn't the faintest idea.
You also seem pretty arrogant about your own music. Sure, your stuff might be good, but so what? There are a ton of amazing, innovative musicians in this world, but most of them wont get very far. Keeping that in mind, I'd stick with your band. Make a deal with them, so that you only play shows on certain nights, leaving the other nights open for you to work. In my band, we all have jobs, but we work around our schedules and still find time to play, so I don't see the big deal with this. Plus, if your band does get farther, you yourself will beocme more recognized, making it easier when you finally record your solo project.

Realize that you're basing all of this on what "Could be". Nothing is set in stone, so stop trying to convince yourself it is.
#14
our band had just won a support slot for the Bon Jovi Experience, that's more coverage than we've ever had before...

...and they kicked me out because i was going to uni.

at least you're choosing to leave, and if you can't put 100% into it anymore, then i support your decision completely. just do what you want to, at the end of the day, it's your life!
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."
#15
I don't understand the problem. I skimmed your post, but honestly, if you feel like that, just leave. What's the problem?
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Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
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#16
I live in florida, what band is this?
I don't even shred
#17
I guess I'm kind of going through the same thing.

With my girlfriend of 3 years. I love the girl with all my heart, but it just can't happen anymore. I'm not happy and neither is she, and we've done all we possibly can to fix it, it's just not happening.

And it's so hard to let go, because like you, I've sacrificed so much and given her so much of my time, money, and effort. And it's hard to let go of something you've worked so hard for.

But remember, it's always easier to stay in a comfortable situation where you're unhappy then it is to make any sort of drastic change, whether or not it gurantees happiness.

Like relationships, when you feel that you don't have any reason to break up with the girl, and yet you're not happy, so you end up staying with her out of comfort and conveinence.

This is what you feel, and if you feel that strongly, then go for it. Take that chance. It might hurt at times, you might miss the old band and feel really down about giving up on something you've worked so hard for, but its for the best, right? You're not happy, fix it. Honestly, as selfish as we as humans are, it's hard for us to make decisions for our happiness, especially when you have to go out of your comfort zone to get it.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#18
I'm just asking what you guys think, you don't have to tell me what to do or anything. Obviously if I'm making a big decision such as this I'd want outside opinions, to better comprehend what I'm considering. Even with the small amount of info I gave, other people can still see things that I don't. And like I said, if anybody has been through this it'd be real nice to hear about it, like how the band took it, how you broke it to them, etc.

The band is my username, Martyr's Prayer.
We're only strays.