#1
Floating in the sand,
white teeth enlightening.
Gazing at the stars, and
nothing seems frightening.

Five liters,
refreshing
bitter,
singing,
well,
yelling.

Suddenly on our feet,
struggling, staggering.
beach the clothes meet,
breeze coldly shifting.

toes on
eroded
stones,
jumping in,
goosebumps,
running out.

Headache followed next morning.
#3
I like this, its very ambiguious n abstract and the last line ties it in with the title which is something i find pretty cool, it leaves the rest open to a certain amount of interpretation.

i really like the alliteration in this part as well "Suddenly on our feet,
struggling, staggering."

keep it up
My Stuff: Epi Black Beauty Les Paul with Bareknuckle Pickups, Fender Telecaster MIJ, Cort Electro acoustic, E-ross 12 string acoustic, Fender Hot Rod Deluxe, Cry Baby, BOSS DS-1 , Fulltone OCD, Digitech Whammy, Boss TU-3
#4
Quote by Guitar_Joe
I like this, its very ambiguious n abstract and the last line ties it in with the title which is something i find pretty cool, it leaves the rest open to a certain amount of interpretation.

i really like the alliteration in this part as well "Suddenly on our feet,
struggling, staggering."

keep it up

alliterations are fun