#1
Have you ever taken a dump, and then wiped for like 5 friggin minutes with no results??? It just started happening to me, like a few days ago I went through a quarter of an effing roll of TP, but there was still brown on it. You can only wipe so much before you start actually damaging your arse, you know? Its so annoying, I dunno what to do. Am I alone here? Tips and suggestions?
We're only strays.
#2
that sucks, always happens to me when I take an especially sloppy ****, like after eating enchiladas or something. It's much more satisfying when you drop a nice, dry, one- piece turd.
#3
Good toilet paper helps but sometimes even that doesn't do it. We are all bound to suffer once in a while...
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#4
Its your diet.

Eat better foods.
El-Danny

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You keep seeing songs like KoC, SMBH, and Hysteria showing up on games, but I want Micro Cuts on either Rock Band or Sing Star. I want to see numerous masses of kids staring at the tv wondering what the hell they're supposed to do.
#5
Yeah man, I mean, a load of shit comes off with a few strokes, then a few more there's an average amount, then it's like... God when's this going to stop, how much can my friggin ass produce?

Annoying to say the least.


I might try Bounty or something, absorbing power.
#6
This was probably the worst thread to click on when eating Nutella sandwitches, thanks.
#8
Quote by wiggyisgreat
Yeah man, I mean, a load of shit comes off with a few strokes, then a few more there's an average amount, then it's like... God when's this going to stop, how much can my friggin ass produce?

Annoying to say the least.


I might try Bounty or something, absorbing power.

what's even worse is when you're in the middle of wiping a particularly messy one, and you decide you can squeeze out a bit more, and therefore have to restart the wiping process again. no fun
#9
This has potenital to be a funny thread....

Come on guys lets get some humour going!

......poo!

(god im inmature)
Quote by roythereaper
Nice bum >.> <.<
#10
Quote by kidsilcon
This was probably the worst thread to click on when eating Nutella sandwitches, thanks.


lol hehehe hohoho hahaha
#11
lol or when you think youre done shiiting..you wipe and rub crap all over your ass
feels so nasty haha
#12
This is serious, people!!! I can't stand wiping until my arse is burning, and then having to wipe again later when I'm out or something because my arse is still dirty!! What about those toilets that shoot water up your bum, does that solve it?
We're only strays.
#13
Quote by hrdcorelaxplaya
what's even worse is when you're in the middle of wiping a particularly messy one, and you decide you can squeeze out a bit more, and therefore have to restart the wiping process again. no fun

So true.
#14
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
This is serious, people!!! I can't stand wiping until my arse is burning, and then having to wipe again later when I'm out or something because my arse is still dirty!! What about those toilets that shoot water up your bum, does that solve it?

yes, but to get one, you must move to France. So, the cons outweigh the pros


jk, the French rock.
#15
Quote by Eric_Shunn
lol or when you think youre done shiiting..you wipe and rub crap all over your ass
feels so nasty haha

i dont rub my ass cheeks with the toilet paper after i wipe


anwho, use those baby wipes. i'd assume they work nicely.

Jack my swag
#16
maybe you're using that glossy paper they use to print receipts on?
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

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#17
delete
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Last edited by unforgiven_hope at Sep 7, 2017,
#18
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
This is serious, people!!! I can't stand wiping until my arse is burning, and then having to wipe again later when I'm out or something because my arse is still dirty!! What about those toilets that shoot water up your bum, does that solve it?



hahaha they are called a "bide" (with a little accent over the e, but i suck at the internet so i dont know how to do it)
Not Enough AssHatery
#19
its caled a bidet

they suck

but for some reason continental europe loves them
Acoustic Percussion Guitar Player
Quote by InvaderTSN
I can only poop during full moons.
#20
It's neat that you can put a little sheet of toilet paper in the water to prevent your poop from splashing all up your ass.
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One time I had this chick setting on my lap, sucking on my neck, unbuttoning my pants when one of my friends walked in and ruined the whole thing. To be fair though, she was his girlfriend.

Shoopin' that whoop since before you were born, son.
#22
Quote by Eric_Shunn
i once **** out a turd the size of a grapefruit

trust me..ive got bigger problems



Don't feel bad, I once had one longer and wider than my forearm, that wasn't very fun.
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#23
this is one of the reasons i take a dump in the morning, then just take 2 steps into the shower.

it feels nice to no u just took a sloppy crap, but ur clean as hell after walkin out that shower
#24
my dad calls this one brand of cheap generic toilet paper "John Wayne Toilet Paper"

Why?

Just like John Wayne, it doesn't take **** from anyone.
When all else fails, ask the pit.
#25
Charmin. i don't need to be wiping my ass with a cloud.

also, i always use up like the entire roll and there's still more...lol.
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