#1
Check it out , I entered the Slash contest and I thought hey might as well get some people to crit and check out some of my bands new material. This one is called gone , its a ballad type song check out the video!!! If you like , embed it around and such! GImme some feedback guys! BTW Its a live show....

http://omarcv.musicnation.com/

Check out "Gone Live"


I know that I'm to blame
But nothing ever remains the same
I left with you with no thought
You know you're all I got

I made a few mistakes
It's to be too late...
I know youre what I need
I see you in my dreams

When you smile at me
Your face it sets me free
I'd die for one last kiss
But now you're gone
Through every sleepless night
Through every tearful day
From when you walked away
And now you're gone....

You're Gone....

Remember yesterday
We used to sit and play
But no the jokes one me
I'm sorry for everything
Today never ends
I'm on my last wind
I miss you again and again
Its not too late...

When you smile at me
Your face it sets me free
I'd die for one last kiss
But now you're gone
Through every sleepless night
Through every tearful day
From when you walked away
And now you're gone....

I miss youre smile
I miss youre face
I miss youre taste
I miss everything

I hate these nights
I hate these days
I hate myself
Oh why did you cry

When you smile at me
Your face it sets me free
I'd die for one last kiss
But now you're gone
Through every sleepless night
Through every tearful day
From when you walked away
And now you're gone....

When all is said and done
We'll drift into the sun
and we'll sail away
Till we're gone........
#2
The face paint looks dumb. ITs a pretty cool song, the tone of the guitar isnt very good. It would obviously be better if you recorded it though a computer tho. The vocals are really good. Its a little repetitive too. I think it sounds a lot like 80s rock with a bit of a modern edge to it. Its pretty sweet. good solo. good song. you should get it recorded tho, get some better quality.

please comment back: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=704912
#3
^ Im not sure if you meant it looked dumb as in if we always did it , or just dumb. It was a halloween show , so he was a skeleton. We don't do it normally lol. Thanks thats what we are kinda going for , modern rock with an 80's twist!
#4
haha ohhh ok. I meant was a dumb idea and was coping kiss, but i didn't think it would be for halloween.
#5
Oh yea well I was slash earlier in the gig , top hat and all that. He didn't know what to be so he painted his face up and made a skeleton outline on his shirt and pants , was cool. But yea it was halloween , we wouldn't do that in seriousness lol thats just raging rip off!
#6
yeah i like the melody....at first I thought you were kind of a guns n roses cover band..but...you werent. well your song is really cool. I enjoyed it. really cool guitars. nice solo....yeah ****ing good man..do you wanna come to germany?

wanna crit mine?would be fine

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=712169
"I got my propaganda
I got revisionism
I got my violence
in high def ultra realism" - Nine Inch Nails "Survivalism"


But it's the same everyday drives you all insane
#7
Ok, several things:

I wrote a song called 'Gone' way back in 2002... it's on my UG profile, check it out!

Not bad, except for the outta tune guitars... decent songwriting. cool that you are playing live at your age. Idunno about the makeup, though...

Crit me. I have 8 songs posted on my UG profile. Just click my avatar.
#8
I've written a song called "Gone" too!

First off...Jeez! Tune the guitars!!! The song itself sounds good, really solid Hard Rock tune. I like the tone, although it'd obviously be better in the studio.

Pretty sweet solo, and you guys seem to have decent stage prescence.

REALLY like the more upbeat bt after the solo. Rockin'


Overall...I really like it, but tune the damn guitars next time!

EDIT: Oh, and could you crit my song "Air" in my profile please? Leave crit here
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=711474
Quote by bjoern_swe
my mom found me sitting in the kitchen, eating Corn Flakes from the floor. when she asked me what I was doing, I just roared at her and ran up to my room.


George Foreman Grill Appreciation Society
Last edited by alliwant at Nov 14, 2007,