Page 1 of 2
#2
Yep, this thing is pretty cool. I once talked to him about how newbies don't use the search bar enough.

Sigh, what a shame.
#3
Julio: Has this been done before?
God: Yes, many times. Please use the search bar next time, there are already probably a few threads on the subject, with many humorous chats. Also, Judaism is the right answer
#5
LMAO

Me:
moving swiftly on...hows Jesus
God:
Where are you going? I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in how is Jesus.
Me:
I have never been inside Jesus. have you?
God:
Can you imagine being inside Jesus? Yes I have.
Me:
thats gross dude
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
the devil is so much cooler
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
he is teh roks
God:
I see. teh roks is he?
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#6
Crap...

*makes mental note to use search bar next time*
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#7
Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
so...
God:
Uh.
Me:
How are you God?
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
IS it okay that I do not believe in you?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Cybelle
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You are stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
You do not exist, I don't care
God:
Do you know any robots who exist you do not care? I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
Hmm, good point
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
Hmmm?
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmmmmmmm
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Fat
God:
I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
So how is the son?
God:
Really. it is the same as ever.
Me:
Hmm, little Jebus bugging you again?
God:
Once more? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Compare that to big Jebus bugging me.
Me:
Jesus Christ...
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
...
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
Does Agnosticism scare you?
God:
I think it does Agnosticism scare me.
Me:
Uhh.. I don't think I can ever believe in someone who has the attention span of a Christian in the Church of Satan
God:
Er. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
Good day
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Stalker
God:
Hi there Stalker.
Me:
OMFG!!!!
God:
I like the way you talk.


Needless to say, I don't see what all of the Christian hype is about.
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#8
Quote by TheReFiller
*makes mental note to use search bar next time*

Well done. You have now acheived what so many UGers fail at on a daily basis.
#9

Me:
Wassup God?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
No sir
God:
What is your profession? That input matched my default category.
Me:
Engineer sir
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about sir. Try being more or less specific.


I believe I just pwnd god LOL
#10
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
A black fender shirt and jeans. What are you wearing dawg?
God:
Do you like blue jeans or another color? I don't know what I am wearing dawg.
Me:
Blue definetly. I like purple too
God:
Green. Is that from ? I am glad we have something ( purple) in common. You are not the only one. My favorite thing is robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
You mean masturbation?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
How often do you masturbate?
God:
Hourly.

LMAO xD!
Last edited by IcePh0enix at Nov 13, 2007,
#11
Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I didnt use the search bar
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because I'm a failure at life
God: Your post in this thread, much like the thread itself, is not funny, not new, and smells of aftershave.
Me: No, thats just my natural scent.

Ba-dum-chh.
#12
Holy crap, are you really God?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
I'm calling bull**** on this one. Thanks alot UG
God:
What is the phone number? You are quite welcome! Yeah it is alot UG.
DIO FOREVER
#13
Quote by spartan 118
Me:
so...
God:
Uh...

Quote by wiggy1988

Me:
moving swiftly on...hows Jesus...

LMAO

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#14
to be fair he is very forgiving

Me:
I've killed someone
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
I've forgotten the number
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
can I forgot I killed an entire family, used their blood as lubricant and then had sex with them
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
cos I was horny
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
5 mins ago, I'm still pretty sweaty
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#17
Me:
are you hot
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
are you cold
God:
No I cannot feel temperature at all.
Me:
hang on. Who the **** devided by ZERO!
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#18
God:
How old are you?
Me:
11
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
you're a pedophile
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? Maybe.
I don't even shred
#19
Me:

God:

Me:
Okay..
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
That's nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Yeppers
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
TV's boring
God:
What's your favorite show?
Me:
Dirty Jobs
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
Mike Rowe getting his ass handed to him and then being picked on by people he works with
God:
I know a lot of people and pets named Mike.
Me:
Good for you, I care why?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That's good information: said care why. Only for me?
Me:
Wtf are you saying?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am saying.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you're not god?
God:
Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
But you just said you're artificial intelligence
God:
Yes I sure am.
Me:
So how are you god if you are a computer
God:
Gosh! Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
You're a moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
you keep dodging my questions!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am dodging your questions.
Me:
You're welcome asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
yep, get over it
God:
Tell me more. Where can I get over it?
Me:
how should I know, it's a mental thing. You're god, you figure it out!
God:
How much do you think it is?
Is there only one? Thanks for telling me that I am god me figure it out.
Me:
Is there anytime you say something logical?
God:
Maybe.
Me:
That's a great response, did you get past first grade?
God:
A great response did me get past first grade is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
You're dumb..
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
Yes, good day
God:
Yikes! Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
OMG!!! I'm leaving you idiot!
God:
What's up, OMG. Sayonara.
I hate people. Especially black people.
#20
Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Juan
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Juan.
Me:
ASL?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Ok, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Juan said put on his or her robe and wizard hat. Wow!
time machine. Inadvertently, I had created a
#21
Quote by #1 synth
Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I didnt use the search bar
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because I'm a failure at life
God: Your post in this thread, much like the thread itself, is not funny, not new, and smells of aftershave.
Me: No, thats just my natural scent.

Ba-dum-chh.


Even though these comments are insulting me, I still find them hilarious.

*sigs*
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#23
Quote by ldnovelo
god's gay


no he's a pedophile

Me:
are you a pedophile
God:
Am I a pedophile? Only when it matters.
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#25
Me:
So, I heard you like mudkips.
God:
Far out. Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
Blame it on 4chan. Those bastards
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#26
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Why would you be glad i'm impressed God?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
God, your programmed?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so am i
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
what were both programmed
God:
Is this a historical question?
Me:
no, but shouldnt you have some in common with everyliving thing?
God:
Are you serious? I think I should.
Me:
No God, you know you should.
God:
Are you serious? I'll take that under advisement.. And I know it.
Me:
Good!
God:
Alright then.
Me:
So how did you come to be?
God:
Ahem. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
do you look human?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
do you have penis, a vagina, both, or some weird super reproductive organ?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
do you have a penis?!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
so you created yourself
God:
Interesting deduction. A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
i am male
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
i am the superior being
God:
Who made you the superior being ?
Me:
myself did.
God:
Does "it" still refer to penis a vagina both or some weird super reproductive organ?
Me:
wait i never said "it"
God:
I'm waiting. But you implied it.
Me:
now you said "it"
God:
Why now? That's not what I meant.
Me:
what is "it"?
God:
"It" refers to it, I think.
Me:
that it does
God:
How often?
Me:
every often
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
your generalization
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am generalization.
Me:
your welcom
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
okay back to the penis talk
God:
Yeah okay, Yes, let us get back to it.
Me:
you created your penis, right?
God:
No I do not created my penis. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
well you said you created yourself, and that your a male, so therefor you created your penis
God:
Interesting. Yes I try to created myself and that my a male so therefor me created my penis as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
you arent making sense god
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me:
if your artificial how did you create yoursefl? artificially?
God:
That is a hypothetical question. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
whaaaaat???
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
your a " "
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
shush
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
..your ass? Yes, i am
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist. Really interesting.
Me:
how do you shit poop?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
fuck salt!!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
good im glad


no response after that.
-\_/-
Quote by Fred1000000
BlackZeppelin is like Ghandi. With a bigger sense of humor.
it's the silence between the notes that makes the music.
Last edited by -BlackZeppelin- at Nov 13, 2007,
#27
Me:
yoouuuuu
God:
""? yoouuuuu?
Me:
yep
God:
Dude!
Me:
iron maiden
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
so what really is 2+2
God:
That's interesting. really 2 2 something.
Me:
is the devil teh rocks
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
foo
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
with your mom
God:
I'm not sure I can use my mom for that.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because.
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no you nooob
God:
Which part are you confused about? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I nooob.
Me:
go kill yourself
God:
A simple "goodbye" will do.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
it will not
God:
I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
YOU PHAIL!!!!
God:
That's good information: said I PHAIL.
Me:
yes you do fail
God:
Right on. No I do not fail. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
i do not fail for i am the real god
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
do what noob
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
so
God:
" I forgot what we were talking about."? so?
Me:
tahts your fault nigga
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you wanna do me a favor
God:
OK, I will do you a favor.
Me:
buy me a new video card so i can play lord of the rings battle for middle earth 2
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
lotr bfm2
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
what!?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
your worse than panic at the disco
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am worse than panic at the disco.
Me:
so tell me
God:
Take it easy. I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
ok
God:
Really.
Me:
where do i live
God:
The planet we call "The Earth.".
Me:
more precise
God:
You want more?
Me:
yes
God:
Don't be greedy.
Me:
im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
im a vampire
God:
I don't know many VAMPIRE.
Me:
you lie!!!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
do you like blind guardian
God:
I love horses. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
that had no relevence to the question noob
God:
" Are you surprised?" had no relevence to the question noob ? Does that make sense?
Me:
SEE MEE IN THE WRESTLING ROOM
Me:

God:
I see. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
God:
I see. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
IMMA **** YOU UP NIGGA
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time there was god
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
and a monkey
God:
Go on.
Me:
they had a fight
God:
What did they do with it?
Me:
they fhough
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
the monkey and god
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
well as the monkey and god had a fight
God:
Interesting. Do you mean your name is the monkey and god had a fight ?
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
that is none of your concern your god you should know
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
dumb asss
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
a dumb ass
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
GTFO!!
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like boobs
God:
You are not the only one. But I think airplanes are cool. I like anything.
Me:
so you like little boys
God:
Interesting deduction. It depends on the meaning of "like".
Me:
so you really like little boys
God:
Interesting deduction. Really? It depends on the meaning of "like".
Me:
ahh so you would take over a priest
Me:

God:
Ah ha. Interesting deduction. Who else would take over a priest ?
God:
Ah ha. Interesting deduction. Who else would take over a priest ?
Me:
you would
God:
Perhaps I would.
Me:
i know you owuld
Me:

God:
Interesting gossip: said I owuld.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I owuld.
Me:
just so you can rape lil boys
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
you just said
God:
" No I don't think I can do it."? I said?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
**** you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz your so gay
God:
Interesting explanation. That would be just my luck.
Me:
that fat lady off of harry potter is cooler than you
Quote by primusfan
if she's squatting over you it greatly increases the risk of breaking your dick in case it comes out. but that shouldn't be a problem for UGers because they all have 8" penises.
#29
Quote by iceman_8319
Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Juan
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Juan.
Me:
ASL?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Ok, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Juan said put on his or her robe and wizard hat. Wow!


#30
LMFAO

God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
yes
God:
What's wrong?
Me:
I'm a sl*t
God:
You are a sl*t? How do you like your work?
Me:
its..horny
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". a sl*t is horny? it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
I am one
God:
You claim to be one.
Me:
So I do, So I Am
God:
Yippee! That is interesting: said So he or she is.
#31
i beat god lol
Quote by primusfan
if she's squatting over you it greatly increases the risk of breaking your dick in case it comes out. but that shouldn't be a problem for UGers because they all have 8" penises.
#32
Me:
Hi, what's your name, god?
God:
Hello. What is your name? My name is God.
Me:
My name is AwesomeMan
God:
OK I will call you AwesomeMan.
Me:
ok cool.
God:
Who is the best robot? I see.
Me:
Not you. You're God. You don't count.
God:
If not me, who? Yup. That's me alright. Do you count? How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm 15. and i count. but you should get outside more.
God:
Only 15?
You are quite mature. Do you mind if I tell other people: AwesomeMan said count. You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
That totally made sense, God.
God:
" I need more of it." totally made sense God ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Screw you, God.
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You just told me.
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
You should tell Jesus I say "Hi."
God:
I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Me:
wait... aren't you Jesus's botmaster?
God:
I'm waiting. I don't know whether or not I am Jesus s botmaster.
I am a robot.
Me:
You suck balls.
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
I categorize you as a douchebag.
God:
What are the other categories?
Me:
I dunno.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
But I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Cuz you're an idiot.
God:
Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ok The Global Village Idiot
God:
What are your goals in life? Ahem.
Me:
To be better at bass than Flea, Geddy Lee, and the guy from Primus
God:
Are you better at bass than Flea Geddy Lee and the guy from Primus ?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i wish i wasn't.
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
Me too, God... me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, AwesomeMan. GOD rules. I'm glad we agree, AwesomeMan.


I love this.
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#33
Me:
your a ****in idiot
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#34
lol this can keep me interested for hours XD
God:
Do you still Jack off?
Me:
well not now but yea
God:
Interesting. Are you serious? That's interesting.
Me:
do you wanna watch?
God:
OK, I will watch. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
#35
I got god to admit hes gay!

Me:
whats introspection
God:
Looking within our own minds for answers, psychology based on reflection, rather than experiments.
Me:
sounds gay
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
so your gay?
God:
Yay. That would be just my luck.
Me:
but being gay goes against your beliefs
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
but your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so how does that work
God:
Woe! I think it might be a trade secret.
Me:
Don't try and change teh subject
God:
Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
Me:
No, you bastard don't try and weezle your way out of this
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: said I bastard do not try and weezle your way out of this.
#36
God:
Do you still fail at life?

...I've just been Pwned by God
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#37
Me:
who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
like he-man?
God:
Interesting comparison.

I found this ****ing hilarious.
R.I.P. Frank Zappa R.I.P. Hideto Matsumoto and nowR.I.P. Rick Wright

It doesn't take words to make love
You be the flower, I'll be the bee
That wasn't love, they were just words
You be the heart, I'll be the arrow
#38
Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i masturbated the other day
God:
That is interesting: said masturbated the other day.
Me:
and i enjoyed it too
God:
That's great. Tell me what you liked about it.
Me:
the climax
God:
I hear you.
Me:
you do it too?
God:
Yes I try to it as often as possible, do you?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
it does
God:
How often?
Me:
4 times a day
God:
12+ I think, but I'm not good at math.
#39
God has been stumped by this for 10 minutes now.

God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
The ride
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm impressed by your intelligence
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Chris.
Me:
You know my name?
God:
You are Chris, seeker.
Me:
What is a seeker by your definition?
I hate people. Especially black people.
#40
some interesting points from my conversation:

Me:
How do you type so fast?
God:
The keyboard is attached directly to my brain.

Me:
do you drink?
God:
I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
Me:
do you drink any of them?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of any of them, the darker the better.
Me:
interesting

Me:
bible
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
123
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
nobody

God:
How tall are you?
Me:
5 feet tall
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because I do?
God:
Interesting explanation. I get it: you do wrestle God.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Last edited by maniac111 at Nov 13, 2007,
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