#1
I was in my room with my Telecaster earler tonight and playing around with something twangy and stereotipicaly country. This is what I came up with. Just for the excersize, I'm trying to write one song a day.


----G-------------------------------------------------C----------------------G
Im setting here on my thrown with my panc around my ankle's.
G---------------------------------------------------------D
wondering why lifes turned out the way it has.
G-------------------------------C------------------------G
My bills don't get paid. And I always feel drained.
G-----------------------D-------------------G
Would some one trade lifes with me.
Am------------D-------G--------------------------------Em
For sale or trade. It's guaranteed you'l not Have it made.
------------C------------------A7---------------D
And the bill collectors garnesh your wages.
------G-----------------------C
My jeans have holes. and so does this story.
G-------------------------------D-----G
Just ask the the credit card company.


G-------------------------------------C-----------------------G
When I was young and18 I had my life be for me.
G-------------------------------------------------D
Wondering what life had in store for me
G--------------------------------------------C------------------------------------G
Maybe I would join the milatary, or just stay home and get maried.
Am------D----------------------------G---------------Em
I never thought that it would turn out this way.
-------------C-----------------A7---------D
And the bill collectors won't go away.
------G---------------------C
My life realy sucks, so I just want you to know.
-----D----------------------G
so you won't be disapointed after the trade.


G--------------------------------------C---------------G
I had two heart atachs when I was thirty seven.
G-----------------------------D
Two stents put in my arteries.
G--------------------------------------------------C--------------------------G
I just can't resist biscuits and gravy. And fat back in my beans
Am--------------D--------------G--------------Em
What is that feelling my arms going numb.
G-------------------------D---------G
You might want to get that looked at
G---------------D--------G
And rember noooo trade backs.
#2
----G-------------------------------------------------C----------------------G
Im setting here on my thrown with my panc around my ankle's. i think you should panc to pants
G---------------------------------------------------------D
wondering why lifes turned out the way it has.
G-------------------------------C------------------------G
My bills don't get paid. And I always feel drained. =i do like this part along with your ryhme scheme
G-----------------------D-------------------G
Would some one trade lifes with me.
Am------------D-------G--------------------------------Em
For sale or trade. It's guaranteed you'l not Have it made.=i also like this part too
------------C------------------A7---------------D
And the bill collectors garnesh your wages.=i think you should use wage or pay instead of wages
------G-----------------------C
My jeans have holes. and so does this story.
G-------------------------------D-----G
Just ask the the credit card company.=its a little wierd but i like the vague ryhme


G-------------------------------------C-----------------------G
When I was young and18 I had my life be for me.= i dont think i like this it feels forced to me
G-------------------------------------------------D
Wondering what life had in store for me
G--------------------------------------------C------------------------------------G
Maybe I would join the milatary, or just stay home and get maried.=the only prob is your spellin
Am------D----------------------------G---------------Em
I never thought that it would turn out this way.
-------------C-----------------A7---------D
And the bill collectors won't go away.= i like this part too
------G---------------------C
My life realy sucks, so I just want you to know.
-----D----------------------G
so you won't be disapointed after the trade.=so far it flows roughly


G--------------------------------------C---------------G
I had two heart atachs when I was thirty seven.
G-----------------------------D
Two stents put in my arteries.
G--------------------------------------------------C--------------------------G
I just can't resist biscuits and gravy. And fat back in my beans
Am--------------D--------------G--------------Em
What is that feelling my arms going numb.
G-------------------------D---------G
You might want to get that looked at=well i really dont think this part flowed with everything else
G---------------D--------G
And rember noooo trade backs.=but this works well here and over-all i like it there are a few grammactical errors that i would fix but other than the stuff that i mentioned i would change a whole lot and i do get the twangy feel of it i think that this ahs some good potentiol i hope have been of some help
have you checked out my piece its called"girls are ****ing evil my friend"
if you havent then check it out and tell me what you think of and by all means tear it up
the link is
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=709143
C4C?
#3
Hi violinmore,

I'm going to report this for title. It would get closed soon anyway.

Please read the rules. The title of this piece, since you didn't have one, should have been:

untitled (country)

A description of the piece or other attention-getting devices are not permitted.
Only the title, and optionally in parentheses the genre, and/or type of work for instance: (short story)

I'd recommend against using an emoticon attached to the title. Some people are doing that at the moment, but that will likely be stopped.

I'd also recommend you use msWord or another program that has a spell check function. Others will take your work more seriously, if there aren't so many misspellings.

Having the chords along with the words might not be the greatest idea. While it is somewhat useful to see where the chord changes occur along with the words, it doesn't help that much since we have no way of knowing what notes are being sung in the melody. AND it makes it difficult to focus on the words for the poetic value.

Be sure to READ the sticky about offering crits and comments on others work. It's expected that you contribute to others as well as presenting your own work for opinions.

You can start a new thread for this piece AFTER this one is closed, and you read the rules.

Good luck,
SYK


*reported*


...
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