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#1
Okay. So, here's my problem. I'm very fond of my lady friend, and I'm pretty sure it's a mutual thing. But there's one thing missing. Clown sex. I want her to dress like a clown during sex just ONE time. Is that really so much to ask? I mean, I sat through god knows how many hours of a Tool concert for her, and used my own gas to get us there. So, is it wrong for me to want her to dress up like a clown during sex just one time?

What I want from all of you, is to try to argue my case for me. Then, once that's done, I will show her this thread so she understands the benefits of dressing up like clowns during sex.

Thank you in advance.

Love,

Cory.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#3
I dunno how you'd cope. Personally if my girlfriend was dressed as a clown my penis would retreat back up inside my body and not come out for a couple of days.
#6
Tell her if she dresses up like a clown, then you will dress up like a clown too. But i dont know why you'd want to... a lot of clowns are morphine addicted child molesters.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#7
I'm not really even that into clowns. I just want to be able to know in my heart of hearts that I got to have sex with one at least once in my life. If I can't get it from her, I will hunt down the Ringling Bros, and sex one of their clowns.

Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#9
Everyone likes Improv in the bedroom, you'll both have fun with it Lol. I don't think it would hurt for her to do this one time for you. Enjoy clown sex lol
One Love

“One good thing about music, when it hits- you feel no pain” -Bob Marley
#10
Clowns are hot. Is it wrong for your woman to dress nice for a change? I think not. Tell her to dress as a clown or GTFO.
#11
Man I can't believe you even have a girlfriend. If I was her I would run to the hills and beg God for mercy on your soul.
#12
I think part of my brain exploded after reading the first 2 lines of this post. Seriously, I don't think I can recover, it was just so unexpected.

And, uh, everyone has different fantasies and if she's "fond" of you then she'll do it.
#16
maybe if you dress like a clown she will....and why would you want to boink a clown? isn't that kinda like........ strange?
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#17
I'm scared of clowns and I'm 21.

22 this next 27
- Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
- Don't do to others what you wouldn't like others to do to you.
- Live and let live.
- Always tell the truth.
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#18
Quote by 7DaySkeptic
I dunno how you'd cope. Personally if my girlfriend was dressed as a clown my penis would retreat back up inside my body and not come out for a couple of days.


+ 1
Quote by die_kenny_die
ate a girl out on her period...

i regret nothing.


I know how to shred paper, does that count?
#19
Your hearts in the right place, and honestly, if she really loves you, she will dress up as a clown, and it will be hot. This is the true trial of any relationship; if she's not willing to dress up as a clown for you, she's not worth your time.

My own ladyfriend was apprehensive at first when I asked her to dress up as a scuba diver; now she puts on the snorkel and wetsuit without me even asking. She'll come around, if she really cares about you.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#20
um........
dude.....

your ****ing wierd.............


i cant believe you didnt enjoy Tool

get help
Quote by Kensai
Girls don't have to do anything to be good in bed. If she's got a pulse she's automatically an 8.

#22
Well, she is the artistic type. Do you think she'd go for it if we compromised and she dressed up like a French mime?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#26
Quote by Godsmack_IV
dude, it's not the same. without the red nose, it's nothing.

I wasn't even asking her to put on the red nose. I just wanted clown face paint, really. And I kinda want her to have one of those silly little clown hats, and to smoke a big exploding cigar.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#27
Yea, Giving game man.

Offer
"I'll cuddle/eat out/indulge in your wierd desires if you dress up as a clown"

Its wierd, and I think your odd, but thats how I would go about it.
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#28
...

There is no smiley icon to show what Im feeling right now.
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Quote by wesleyisgay
IF MATT DAMON DIES TOMMAROW

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Communist Mormon of 2.21.19.8

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#29
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I wasn't even asking her to put on the red nose. I just wanted clown face paint, really. And I kinda want her to have one of those silly little clown hats, and to smoke a big exploding cigar.


What about a rainbow wig? That's an orgasm in hair form, right there. And I agree, it's nothing without the red nose, and maybe some pie's for "foreplay"
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#30
Quote by bassmanjoe08
...

There is no smiley icon to show what Im feeling right now.

Describe it to us. Is vomit involved?

Edit to Gunpowder: She's got red hair naturally, she doesn't really need a rainbow wig.

And secondly.. The cream pie wasn't even going to be given a second thought. I wanted her to be the one to give ME the cream pie to the face. Literally.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#31
As much as i'd like to give a persuasive argument why to dress like a clown for sex, I just can't think of any. I doubt there will be any 'thread-showing' going on because everyone else will pretty much be thinking the same as me... Unless I'm terriblely mistaken - in which case, I'm sorry.

Edit: Also - fu'ck Tool.
#32
Quote by 7DaySkeptic
I dunno how you'd cope. Personally if my girlfriend was dressed as a clown my penis would retreat back up inside my body and not come out for a couple of days.

that made my day
#33
hahaha i love how you're like "well I used my gas to take her to a concert, so she totally owes me clown sex"
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#34
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Describe it to us. Is vomit involved?

Edit to Gunpowder: She's got red hair naturally, she doesn't really need a rainbow wig.

And secondly.. The cream pie wasn't even going to be given a second thought. I wanted her to be the one to give ME the cream pie to the face. Literally.


Stop typing the details, you're getting me off.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#35
Clowns are comic performers, stereotypically characterized by their colored wigs, stylistic makeup, outlandish costumes, and unusually large footwear.

Clowning, in its most basic form, can be described as one form of drama without a fourth wall, however there are other types of drama that are lacking the element of a fourth wall as well.

In other words, a clown acknowledges his audience. You, the audience, need to be acknowledged.

Clowns spread in cultures of any time and place, because they meet some deeply rooted needs in humanity: (1) violation of taboos, (2) the mockery of sacred and profane authorities and symbols, (3)reversal of language and action, and (4) a ubiquitous obscenity. An interesting example can be found in the Native American clown societies.

I think JackOffJill has a subconscious yearning for these 4 needs, and they can only be satisfied through one thing: clown sex.

fin.
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Quote by The Needles
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try to act like they know what loud is
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Last edited by apollo718 at Nov 15, 2007,
#36
Quote by apollo718
Clowns are comic performers, stereotypically characterized by their colored wigs, stylistic makeup, outlandish costumes, and unusually large footwear.

Clowning, in its most basic form, can be described as one form of drama without a fourth wall, however there are other types of drama that are lacking the element of a fourth wall as well.

In other words, a clown acknowledges his audience. You, the audience, need to be acknowledged.

This will be my argument. She is a musician, so I think if I acknowledge that she is an entertainer, and I am an audience, it might work. Just in a different scenario.

But I am currently negotiating with small things. Like five minutes with a round red nose on. I think I'm going to win this one..


Edit: Apollo, you TOTALLY get me.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#38
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Describe it to us. Is vomit involved?

Edit to Gunpowder: She's got red hair naturally, she doesn't really need a rainbow wig.

And secondly.. The cream pie wasn't even going to be given a second thought. I wanted her to be the one to give ME the cream pie to the face. Literally.

Well lets see... ................. /////////
.......................................---...__
........................................0....o.\
.........................................<
.............................................0) ......
............................................-----/
something like that
Call Me Joe
Quote by wesleyisgay
IF MATT DAMON DIES TOMMAROW

FUK



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#39
WOW, this is the best thread EVER!

/sarcasm
/i****inghatethetopicstarterrightnow
/howisthisthreadstillopen
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