#1
this one didn't take me too long to write because my cousin (the lead singer of my band) wanted something a little simpler and catchier than what I normally write. I made it a bit more catchy but I also kept some technical (sort of) parts intact.
Attachments:
another one of those song things.zip
Quote by Killian5-0
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#2
i liked it.

good job
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#3
Quite good, I liked it a lot.

That Bar 67 to Ending Riff might sound better if the bass doubled the guitar, but it might just sound off because of Guitar Pro being what it is.

Other than that, awesome. Like you said, very catchy, while still a little technical.
#4
it was very good. i really can't see anything wrong with it. however, if you were shooting for "poppy" i think you missed it completely. of course, thats depending on what your singer classifies as poppy. does he mean kindof like a metal/pop or pop rock? but don't get me wrong, i loved the song. i just don't think you made your goal. cool.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#5
Quote by Its_Rock77
it was very good. i really can't see anything wrong with it. however, if you were shooting for "poppy" i think you missed it completely. of course, thats depending on what your singer classifies as poppy. does he mean kindof like a metal/pop or pop rock? but don't get me wrong, i loved the song. i just don't think you made your goal. cool.

well i didnt want something "poppy", I just wanted something that he could sing over with ease instead of a technical riff. I wanted the chorus to be memorable as well. that was actually my main goal.
Quote by Killian5-0
I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

Quote by Rocker_geek
nexteyenate you win
Linux
#6
that was wicked - especially the wah bit in the middle and the bit following on. All the riffs were pretty solid. The staccato bass at the start was good and every time you thought the song was getting boring it threw a surprise at you. Only a minor criticism would be excessive soloing.
#7
Quote by nexteyenate
well i didnt want something "poppy", I just wanted something that he could sing over with ease instead of a technical riff. I wanted the chorus to be memorable as well. that was actually my main goal.


okay, then i take back what i said. congrats on a pretty awesome song
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#8
Quote by Its_Rock77
okay, then i take back what i said. congrats on a pretty awesome song

thanks
Quote by Killian5-0
I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

Quote by Rocker_geek
nexteyenate you win
Linux
#9
after listening to this a couple times, i found it to be a little repetitive and boring. anyone have any suggestions as to how i could fix that?
Quote by Killian5-0
I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

Quote by Rocker_geek
nexteyenate you win
Linux
#10
Very original. I love how funky syncopation and melody are mixed in the intro. If I can make a suggestion, the last note the bass plays in bars 5-6 and 9-10 should be a 16th rest and then the note as a dotted 8th. It keeps the funky vibe going, but it's your call. This next part at 13 isn't my favorite, but I guess it serves the purpose of the song. It just seems a little too dissonant coming out of the intro. The riff at 21 is excellent, very catchy. However, I would transpose bars 22 and 24 up an octave on the two guitars. I tried it and I like how that sounds much better, but again, your call. The little lead section is nice and I love the riff at 29. I'm guessing this is the chorus riff because it's very catchy. The riff at 39 was a little unexpected, but it fits and flows into the chorus riff again nicely. The bass at 46 almost makes me think of Chralie Brown, I'm not sure why. The riff and solo at 54 are excellent. I'm not liking the diminished chords at 64, but the riff itself is good. I would change those diminished chords to just power chords or 1-3-5 triads, because it just feels too dissonant as it is. Going back into the chorus it sounds good, but the last bar feels wrong and out of place, again from the diminished chord that you used. I would avoid those chords in this type of music, because in some contexts, like a metal song, it sounds ominous, but when compared to a catchy rock backdrop, they just sound bad. Overall, very good song, it just needs a few tweaks and it could be a great song. Wow, this is a long crit.
#11
great song, didn't find anything wrong, unless the ending... I think it ends too abruptly, other than that excellent job! great lead work and bass line (although i had to lower the volume of the guitars to hear it!).

mind critting mine? (choose from sig) thanks.
#12
Very nice =]

I love the bit starting on bar 13, the part starting on bar 17 sounds a bit familiar same for the part at bar 26, but it might just be that I've listened to this before, and forgot to crit it lol, I like the repeat of the intro... I like the bit with just the bass, a LOT , and the whole bit after it. The two sweeps at the end of bar 64 and 65 sound a bit odd, might just be Guitar Pro tho. It ends too suddenly tho, something about the harmonies at the last bar sound a bit odd too.

Overall, a good song
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#13
i liked it alot

nice little riff at the beginning, you threw it sort of everywhere but it works nicely
your ending solo seemed a litle off but worked perfectly, and i loved the ending, a nice drop
no fade out those are getting to repetative

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#14
Intros cool. Solo was well done, except that whole thing going from measures 13-15, wasnt all that exciting. The section starting at measure 21 is cool. I really like that section starting at 25, thats awesome. And so is 29, its just plain awesome. Only problem though is that the whole thing starts to get pretty repetitive. But the thing with the bass is a nice break, and the solo was good too. You got great solos throughout the whole song, its just as I said before, its kinda repetitive. Maybe if you get some vocals over it though itll sound better. Overall pretty cool, good job. Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=720465