#1
I already have music for this, acoustic fingerpicking. Some of the words are drawn out over the music for a while, so that's why it probably doesn't read with much rhythm.
If something seems familiar, that's because I took the chorus from an older song of mine and reworked it.

ST PETER'S BEING GREEDY

St Peter’s being greedy, he’s
Got my beautiful brother but he won’t share him with me

Ch:
My brother turns twenty-one tomorrow
But he’ll always be ten years and eight
St Peter won’t let him come to visit
To blow out the candles on his cake


Decorations linger, around the white cross at his head
Last year’s card's gone mouldy on the damp soil of his bed

CHORUS

I’ve got the cake all ready
With candles and icing, too
But I know that I’ll just throw it out again
Or eat it all by myself

CHORUS
He likes Keats but she's into Yeats - it's a matter of Romance

E-Mistress to UG's Finest Gentleman


Come away, oh human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand;
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
Last edited by miss_muso~ at Nov 16, 2007,
#3
This is most definitely a very refreshing piece. I lavishly enjoyed this part.
Decorations linger, around the white cross at his head
Last year’s card's gone mouldy on the damp soil of his bed

It gave great imagery and a sense of emptiness to this peace which I can really sense through the vibe of forgotten birthdays and how the narrator misses the brother.

Again a very fresh piece that I can appreciate to a high level because of the creativity and fresh idea. I would love to hears this with the music. Excellent work 9.5/10. (Thanks for the crit =d )