#1
Smoke rises from the flames of war
As another life is sold
Blood bargains for black gold
Will hold a terrible cost for us all

Persecution has no face
It waits in us all
Hallucinations of a monster
Hiding in the shadows
These lies we call our lives

Armed as brothers
We save our own
Raised to serve
Not know why
Futures carved in stone

Soldier of fortune (he claims his toll)
Escape to the sky (the only way)
Nothing more (nothing less)
Your dreams (are no more)

Sins for fruitless gain
Its thirst never satisfied
This blood now runs cold
Veins pumping liquid fear
This battle never ends

Another hero
No body found
Another hero
Without a home
Another hero
Sleeps in gold
Another hero
Now in the ground

Soldier of fortune (pay the price)
Escape to the sky (the only choice)
Nothing more (never enough)
Your dreams forgotten (in this war)


This really isn't meant to be a political work, at least not particular to current events, but rather a look on it over conflict since the 90's. As far as the song goes, I'm hoping to try and make it flow better when sung, if possible.
#2
A band called LOUDNESS did a song titled 'Soldier of Fortune' already.

Regardless, I like your work. Thumbs up!
#3
Why thank you

I'm not sure what else I could name it, but I guess that I could change the chorus, too.
#4
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Quote by Delanoir

Smoke rises from the flames of war
As another life is sold
Blood bargains for black gold

Will hold a terrible cost for us all
I love those two lines. Perfect

Persecution has no face
It waits in us all
Hallucinations of a monster
Hiding in the shadows
These lies we call our lives
I think is pretty good too, But I'm not so sure about the line "Persecution has no face."

Armed as brothers
We save our own
Raised to serve
Not know why
Futures carved in stone
This line is great. it fits really well.


Soldier of fortune (he claims his toll)
Escape to the sky (the only way)
Nothing more (nothing less)
Your dreams (are no more)

This could use a litle more work. To me, it's a little unclear and short

Sins for fruitless gain
Its thirst never satisfied
This blood now runs cold
Veins pumping liquid fear
This battle never ends

Not much I can add to this, I really like it.

Another hero
No body found
Another hero
Without a home
Another hero
Sleeps in gold
Another hero
Now in the ground
This is my favorite part. I love the repetition and outcomes of that soldier.

Soldier of fortune (pay the price)
Escape to the sky (the only choice)
Nothing more (never enough)
Your dreams forgotten (in this war)

Same thing i said for the first one.

Overall, I thinks it's good. Some parts could use a little work, but it's a good start.
#5
Quote by Delanoir
Smoke rises from the flames of war
As another life is sold
Blood bargains for black gold
Will hold a terrible cost for us all
strong opener. the last line seems to not flow as well, but still good.

Persecution has no face
It waits in us all
Hallucinations of a monster
Hiding in the shadows
These lies we call our lives
well worded.

Armed as brothers
We save our own
Raised to serve
Not know why
Futures carved in stone
i can feel the helplessness of these people

Soldier of fortune (he claims his toll)
Escape to the sky (the only way)
Nothing more (nothing less)
Your dreams (are no more)
i really like the first line. it sticks out more than the others

Sins for fruitless gain
Its thirst never satisfied
This blood now runs cold
Veins pumping liquid fear
This battle never ends
the last line is very powerful coming before this pattern change in the song.

Another hero
No body found
Another hero
Without a home
Another hero
Sleeps in gold
Another hero
Now in the ground
nice addition. i like the way the change seems to flow really well from the last part.

Soldier of fortune (pay the price)
Escape to the sky (the only choice)
Nothing more (never enough)
Your dreams forgotten (in this war)



the song has its strong points. having three lines and five lines doesnt seem to flow well in words, but can be awesome in song. keep writing!
CAN I GET A +1?!
#6
Quote by Delanoir
Smoke rises from the flames of war
As another life is sold
Blood bargains for black gold
Will hold a terrible cost for us all
This first verse is eexcellent "as another life is sold, blood bargains for black gold" i found that to be a really nice touch.

Persecution has no face
It waits in us all
Hallucinations of a monster
Hiding in the shadows
These lies we call our lives
Im not really sure about htis verse, it doesn't seem to flow as good as the first one but still has good meaning.

Armed as brothers
We save our own
Raised to serve
Not know why
Futures carved in stone
While this verse is good i think "raised to serve, not know why" should be changed to something that rhymes.


Soldier of fortune (he claims his toll)
Escape to the sky (the only way)
Nothing more (nothing less)
Your dreams (are no more)
excellent


Sins for fruitless gain
Its thirst never satisfied
This blood now runs cold
Veins pumping liquid fear
This battle never ends

Another hero
No body found
Another hero
Without a home
Another hero
Sleeps in gold
Another hero
Now in the ground

Soldier of fortune (pay the price)
Escape to the sky (the only choice)
Nothing more (never enough)
Your dreams forgotten (in this war)

.



Overall the song is awesome. i just think those verses need to flow better. great job.
#7
Quote by WFMedia
A band called LOUDNESS did a song titled 'Soldier of Fortune' already.

Regardless, I like your work. Thumbs up!



Not to mention a little band called Deep Purple.
#8
Quote by ExplorerFreak
Not to mention a little band called Deep Purple.

And Thin Lizzy
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.