#1
heavy intro -

chorus - domesticated lives
fortified walls
great gates made of gold
protects the heavens from
the evil wonders

bridge - come up from the grave
rise from the dead
just for vengeance

solo1

chorus- domesticated lives
fortified walls
great gates made of gold
protects the heavens from
the evil wonders

interlude( undecided on lyrics with it)


verse- why do you ignore me
block me out of your mind
why do you hate me
push me off to the side
why did you kill me
in the middle of the night

outro (with lyrics) - block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
why!!! did you kill me in the night____

( its a rough idea of the song and ive had way better which i will share eventually)
#2
Quote by dumbassclan
heavy intro -

chorus - domesticated lives
fortified walls
great gates made of gold
protects the heavens from
the evil wonders
I'm not sure about "evil wonders", but i like the first four lines.
bridge - come up from the grave
rise from the dead
just for vengeance
I think the first 2 lines are a little too similar/
solo1

chorus- domesticated lives
fortified walls
great gates made of gold
protects the heavens from
the evil wonders

interlude( undecided on lyrics with it)


verse- why do you ignore me
push me off to the side
why do you hate me
block me out of your mind
why did you kill me
in the middle of the night
I like the first four lines, but they'd go better in that order. I'm unsure about the "why did you kill me?" part.
outro (with lyrics) - block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
block me out of your mind
push me off to the side
why!!! did you kill me in the night____
Same.

I think it's a good start, just needs some touching up. Crit me please?(Look in my sig)
Thanks