#1
Verse
Hours spent awake are wasted dreaming about slumber
When rest is non-existent, the hunger amplifies

Sleepless nights are exhausted waiting for
Somebody, anyone to chase away the boredom

When everything in reality has an expiration date
People try and cram their lives, they overcompensate

A schedule they can’t handle, a routine that can’t be done
Yet compensating sleep for time drain their force away

Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless noises of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless noises of the outside
Meaningless activities dominating life; doesn’t comfort matter anymore?
Worthless actions filling up your life; doesn’t relaxation suffice anymore?

Verse
Insomnia creeping in, with
Desperate shots of coffee taking their toll

Burnout sneaking in
Rest and relaxation just a distant delusion now

Boredom’s often whined about yet people fail to see
Without the boredom factor how stressful life would be

Snoozes can be perceived as completely squandered time
Yet these 40 winks of freedom are what keep your mind alive

Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless projects of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless strains of the outside
The freedom of a snooze invigorating life; I know I need my comfort more
Than worthless actions filling up my life; doesn’t relaxation suffice anymore?


The music itself is a slow ska-ish sound, almost reggae. Kinda chilled, laidback. A Common Rider-ish sound, for those who have heard them
Verses, apart from the "insomnia creeping" and "burnout sneaking" are delivered rapidly and almost like a rap
#2
Quote by Adarsh
Verse
Hours spent awake are wasted dreaming about slumber
When rest is non-existent, the hunger amplifies
I like this so far.
Sleepless nights are exhausted waiting for
Somebody, anyone to chase away the boredom
This relates to the first verse well, but I think it would flow better if you slipped in a little rhyme like you have in the first verse
When everything in reality has an expiration date
People try and cram their lives, they overcompensate
I think you're trying a litle too hard with this rhyme. it takes a away from the song.
A schedule they can’t handle, a routine that can’t be done
Yet compensating sleep for time drains the force from everyone
This might make it fit a little better, but it's your song.
Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless noises of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless noise I seem to find
Meaningless activities dominating life; doesn’t comfort matter anymore?
Worthless actions filling up your life; does everything have to be chore?

Verse
Insomnia creeping in, with
Desperate shots of coffee taking their toll
I think this part is pretty good, but you're starting to stray away from the first concept of sitting there not getting enough sleep.
Burnout sneaking in
Rest and relaxation just a distant delusion now
Not much i can add to this part, I really like it.
Boredom’s often whined about yet people fail to see
Without the boredom factor how stressful life would be
This part is excellent. I love it.
Snoozes can be perceived as completely squandered time
Yet those 30 minutes of freedom are what keep your mind alive

Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless projects of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless strains of the outside
The freedom of a snooze invigorating life; I know I need my comfort more
Than worthless actions filling up my life; doesn’t relaxation suffice anymore?
Same thing I said for the first chorus.

I like it. I think you should drop the first part of the song because it differs from the rest, and I think the second half is better.

Crit me please? Preferably "Something New"
the link's in my sig.
Last edited by k00kie M0nster at Nov 18, 2007,
#3
Quote by Adarsh
Verse
Hours spent awake are wasted dreaming about slumber
When rest is non-existent, the hunger amplifies

Sleepless nights are exhausted waiting for
Somebody, anyone to chase away the boredom

When everything in reality has an expiration date
People try and cram their lives, they overcompensate

A schedule they can’t handle, a routine that can’t be done
Yet compensating sleep for time drain their force away

Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless noises of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless noises of the outside
Meaningless activities dominating life; doesn’t comfort matter anymore?
Worthless actions filling up your life; doesn’t relaxation suffice anymore?

Verse
Insomnia creeping in, with
Desperate shots of coffee taking their toll

Burnout sneaking in
Rest and relaxation just a distant delusion now

Boredom’s often whined about yet people fail to see
Without the boredom factor how stressful life would be

Snoozes can be perceived as completely squandered time
Yet these 40 winks of freedom are what keep your mind alive

Chorus
Blissful flashes of silence away from the endless projects of the outside
Peaceful moments of relief away from the endless strains of the outside
The freedom of a snooze invigorating life; I know I need my comfort more
Than worthless actions filling up my life; doesn’t relaxation suffice anymore?


The music itself is a slow ska-ish sound, almost reggae. Kinda chilled, laidback. A Common Rider-ish sound, for those who have heard them
Verses, apart from the "insomnia creeping" and "burnout sneaking" are delivered rapidly and almost like a rap


Standard sort of song. It wouldn't be out of place on GC's stuff, but maybe you should find a more specific topic to direct 'worthless actions' at.