#1
First off, they are poetry pieces, but I've seen several in this forum, so I assume it's ok.

Anyhoo, I'm doing English and there's an option for doing a Creative Writing Folio, which requires the pupil to show their ability at two seperate kinds of creative writing, choices being Self-Reflective Essays, Drama, Poetry and Prose. I'm doing Poetry as one (probably). The poems have to be interconnected in some way, so I thought I'd do some poems on my friends *insert giant "awwww"*, but am worried that the examiners will not "get" the poems as they do not know the subjects.

So, in order to test this theory, I will post 4 of the possibilities for entrants to the shortlist of possible folio pieces here, and see if my paranoid mind has been screwing with me, or guiding me.

First piece:

R & R

We used to throw down our dice and run,
But that’s no way to live.
So we’d roll our dice and run back in,
Just for the hell of it.
Now we double up and die.

We’d try anything thrice
With those dice of ours.
Like kites laughing in a storm,
We'd fight the thunder
And ride the lightning.

Those dice are rolling still,
And we’re running always.

Second piece:

Readings

Tatooed sarcasm
Spat out and rifled towards
The pleb underlings.

Biting cleanly through
Pretence and lies and facade
To the honest shame.

Armour is hollow.
Mother, Father and Sister:
Open books to him.

Third piece:

Knots

Eyes, puffed, vipers devoid
Of venom. Leaking woe
When their charge is scratched.

A smile, cracked, hiding
A voice, Gentle and soft
As sleep.

They have a crimson tint,
A wild flush, bold in a strange home,
The fearlessness in her fire.

Fourth piece:

Altercations

An army of Pandas follow,
As you roar electricity.
Your wake radiating colour,
Sparking from your heels.

A bugle in your voice,
A flag in your face.
A friend in your hand.
Drums in your feet.

An organised horde
Losing whip for warmth,
Striding to East.

Ok, that's them!! Crit away!!

By the by, I'm not worried about flow, I'm more worried about emphasis from quasi-enjambement
Quote by filthandfury
I only do that on MSN, and I get many complaints about it.

F&F will have cyber sex with you on MSN. He's a bit handsy though.


I have become..... METACARPI!!!!

I wish


Joeymaxx
Last edited by Sozes Flying V at Nov 18, 2007,