#1
Long time it has been, since I last posted in S&L.

In my sleep I toss and turn
The happenings of the day return
I replay the moments in my head
And say the things I could have said

My suffering it holds no prize
I've made my moves and told my lies
But yet is pains to close my eyes
And free my soul from my disguise

I change my mind and wish the day
would start and end a different way
but sadly,
what's done is done
And another day has just begun.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#2
This is an excellent poem with brilliant flow.
I repeat this is an excellent POEM.
This maybe have a hard time being put to music or having a chorus added. It also a bit short.
#3
It was originally written as a poem, but I built up quite a nice chord structure around it. It sounded a bit.. 'opethy'.

And thanks for the criticism.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices