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#3
i'm not enjoying it.
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#4
For some reason, I think you only made this thread in order to masturbate to it from all of the smexy stories.
When the music's over, turn out the lights.


Quote by pencap
i fingerd my girl the other day she got so wet nearly my entier hand was soked after that i ate her up, she blacked out it was awesome
#5
you need at least 3 years of experience and 1000 posts to declare something the best thread ever.

this has neither.

ZOMGEDIT: ^^Holy Jim Morrison avatars, Batman!
#7
I'm pretty sure this has been done at some point.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
#8
Quote by ZedLeppy
For some reason, I think you only made this thread in order to masturbate to it from all of the smexy stories.

yeah, this guy has a point.

and for the generic pit answer: your mom
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#9
Whenever my imaginary girlfriend is giving me a blowjob, she always pauses halfway through, looks me deep in the eyes and says: "She sells sea shells by the seashore." Then resumes to sucking me off.

Damn, it's really hot when she does that.
#11
Quote by Metal claw
Whenever my imaginary girlfriend is giving me a blowjob, she always pauses halfway through, looks me deep in the eyes and says: "She sells sea shells by the seashore." Then resumes to sucking me off.

Damn, it's really hot when she does that.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#15
Quote by freakypop
you ppl r sick

how?
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#17
Quote by raining_blood23
mine turns me on when she gives me a blowjob period lol


shut up. you've never gotten a blowjob in your life
#19
Quote by SOADrox429
She rubs IcyHot on it.



gtfo

now
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member of the Allman Brothers Club
member of Zeppelinism
PM TheHeartbreaker to join

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PM deadhead313313

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PM Hanzi_G
#21
Mine turns me on when my metaphorical girlfriend puts on her metaphorical lingerie and metaphorically gives me a metaphorical blowjob in my metaphorical car, which only takes metaphorical gas, can't find the stuff anywhere, except metaphorical gas stations, which don't exist.

2004 MIM Strat w/ Fender Hot Noiseless pickups
Sovtek MiG 60
Avatar 2x12 w/ Celestion Greenbacks
Snark Tuner
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#22
usually when she gets naked.... thats what about does it
Quote by tarheelfan2
Oh ****, I just found out I got pwned by Joey! Damn...

Quote by funkbass369
GASPPPP! another one pwned by joey!

Quote by funkyfigure8
Lulz Joey Is Teh Ownage I Want His Penus
#23
Quote by freakypop
you ppl r sick

Allow me to officially welcome you to UG!

Welcome to UG!!!

UG is not responsible for any mental, physical, or emotional damage you may sustain whilst in The Pit. Side effects of UG may include overuse of IcyHot, urges to do barrell rolls, and having flashbacks of the Lol, wut? pear, Mudkipz, and various shock sites, including but not limited to Tubgirl, Goatse, and/or Meatspin.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
Last edited by SOADrox429 at Nov 19, 2007,
#24
Quote by MrDinkleberry
Mine turns me on when my metaphorical girlfriend puts on her metaphorical lingerie and metaphorically gives me a metaphorical blowjob in my metaphorical car, which only takes metaphorical gas, can't find the stuff anywhere, except metaphorical gas stations, which don't exist.


do you know what a metaphor is?
Christian
#25
when my imaginary girlfriend is giving me rimjai (plural of rimjob- i made it up) It turns me on when she throw up on my feet
#26
Quote by hippyguitardude
gtfo

now


That's the first time I've ever done that.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
#28
when my imagainary girlfriend is giving me rimjai (plural of r i m j o b- (i made that word up) it turns me on when she poops on my carpet, eats it, and then craps it out on my dog benny the bassett hound
#29
When she makes this face at me:

Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
#30
Quote by mellowyellow729
do you know what a metaphor is?


Yes. Do you?

By metaphorical girlfriend I meant hand. By metaphorical lingerie I meant lotion. By metaphorical blowjob I meant masturbation. By metaphorical car I meant my bedroom. By metaphorical gas I mean more lotion, and by metaphorical gas station, I meant a real girlfriend.

This was all a metaphor to TS, btw.

2004 MIM Strat w/ Fender Hot Noiseless pickups
Sovtek MiG 60
Avatar 2x12 w/ Celestion Greenbacks
Snark Tuner
MXR Custom Comp
Fulltone Full-Drive 2
Dunlop JHM3 Univibe
TC electronic Nova Delay
TC electronic Arena Reverb
#31
Quote by SOADrox429
Allow me to officially welcome you to UG!

Welcome to UG!!!

UG is not responsible for any mental, physical, or emotional damage you may sustain whilst in The Pit. Side effects of UG may include overuse of IcyHot, urges to do barrell rolls, and having flashbacks of the Lol, wut? pear and Mudkipz.



Yeah, I officially got the welcome when I read that post to look up goatse.......


I'll have you know I almost threw up.

Mission accomplished, guys!!
--

How do you say "I'm okay" to an answering machine?

--
#32
Quote by stratman_13
Yeah, I officially got the welcome when I read that post to look up goatse.......


I'll have you know I almost threw up.

Mission accomplished, guys!!

Oh yeah.

*Edits post*

Thank you.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
#33
Quote by MrDinkleberry
Yes. Do you?

By metaphorical girlfriend I meant hand. By metaphorical lingerie I meant lotion. By metaphorical blowjob I meant masturbation. By metaphorical car I meant my bedroom. By metaphorical gas I mean more lotion, and by metaphorical gas station, I meant a real girlfriend.

This was all a metaphor to TS, btw.

that was the worst metaphor ever.... you need help with those.... you shouldve watched the metaphor off on the colbert report between stephen colbert and sean penn.... youd learn a thing or two
Quote by tarheelfan2
Oh ****, I just found out I got pwned by Joey! Damn...

Quote by funkbass369
GASPPPP! another one pwned by joey!

Quote by funkyfigure8
Lulz Joey Is Teh Ownage I Want His Penus
#34
Hooray for going off-topic???

HOORAY!
When the music's over, turn out the lights.


Quote by pencap
i fingerd my girl the other day she got so wet nearly my entier hand was soked after that i ate her up, she blacked out it was awesome
#35
Quote by MrDinkleberry
Yes. Do you?

By metaphorical girlfriend I meant hand. By metaphorical lingerie I meant lotion. By metaphorical blowjob I meant masturbation. By metaphorical car I meant my bedroom. By metaphorical gas I mean more lotion, and by metaphorical gas station, I meant a real girlfriend.

This was all a metaphor to TS, btw.

So you want a girlfriend that dispenses lotion?
#36
Quote by JOEYPWNSU
that was the worst metaphor ever.... you need help with those.... you shouldve watched the metaphor off on the colbert report between stephen colbert and sean penn.... youd learn a thing or two

x2
Quote by tunasband
Who's ug?
#39
I don't have a girlfriend. But if i did, it would be probably when she whispers my name in a sexy voice then lies down on the bed and she's like 'I'm waiting..." and htne i jump in then she kisses me on the cheek then giggles, then i touch her boob abd she grabs my ball. then i start kissing her neck and she starts to moan..."awwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhh ' then, she pushes me down on the bed and gets ontop and slaps me in the face then rides me like a donkey!
#40
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
I don't have a girlfriend. But if i did, it would be probably when she whispers my name in a sexy voice then lies down on the bed and she's like 'I'm waiting..." and htne i jump in then she kisses me on the cheek then giggles, then i touch her boob abd she grabs my ball. then i start kissing her neck and she starts to moan..."awwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhh ' then, she pushes me down on the bed and gets ontop and slaps me in the face then rides me like a donkey!


Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
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