#1
My latest song, please tell me what you think

Warlocks Song – A voyage through the west wind pt1

After days of emptiness I’m still alive
I’m a victim of the ravages of time
Me and the Warlock sing out together
“This dream shall go on forever!”

Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ride into the night with tired steeds
Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
A voyage to the west!

We arrive on a murky shore
We are 50 men with swords
We fear the darkness
We fear the light
Even though the steel is bright

Time shall be the death of us!

Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ride into the night with tired steeds
Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
A voyage to the west!

A jackal raised its head at the western dawn
“Wolf dream in a lake of fire”
And the Warlock said
“Forgive the crimson desire”

Did you hear what the wind said?
Our fallen souls shall rise to fight again
After days of emptiness I’m still alive
I’m a victim of the ravages of time

Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ride into the night with tired steeds
Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!
A voyage to the west!
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#2
Yeah, right on, I like these whimsical fantasy like songs alot! Good job! Although, I'm not sure about the "Hi-ya-ya-ya-yah!" it doesn't sound too manly...it sounds ninja-ish...maybe I'm just unclear at how you would say it and in what tone. meh, 'nuff analzying, a fantastic job, kudos to you!


Crit mine if ya got time

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=716734
#3
The 'Hi-ya-ya-yah' part would be a crowd of drunken vikings drinking mead in a tavern shouting drunkenly.

Have returned crit
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#5
nice nice

i can see those vikings in my mind
|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\||____
|....The BEER TRUCK.... ||||'""|""°\_,__
|___Just for You___l||__|__|___|) _____|
|(@)(@)""""""""""""**|(@)(@)****|(@)|
#6
oh man...i lvoe epic lyrics....we should collaberate on this and make it a true epic (many parts)
#7
I've already started work on pt2. It should be finished over the next few days
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#8
Very, Very Nice the idea of Vikings is great, keep up the fantastic work and thanks for the crit on Midnight Skies, my favourite part:
A jackal raised its head at the western dawn
“Wolf dream in a lake of fire”
And the Warlock said
“Forgive the crimson desire”

Again...Nice...
#9
The way you worded this reminds of something like "Battle of Evermore" by Zeppelin...IT'S SO AWESOME!