It's miraculous how these
Fantastical images crawl through my mind.
Round, smooth, alabaster
From skirt fringe to striped socks.
Her raven-black glistening eye-catcher,
The deep welled hazel, charcoal outlined.
Coral bows inviting the eye.
And it makes me homesick.
pretty to say the least. I really didn't like fantastical though. I felt that was really really weak. change that word and I think it'll improve the piece.
Can you see in the dark? Can you see the look on your face?
I only liked fantastical because it was reminiscent of the images that Edgar Allen Poe brought (he used that word a lot didn't he?), and those images seemed well incorporated here. It is "pretty" as further said, a nice thing to read. Not sure about "raven-black glistening eye-catcher", clearly it's not her eyes cause that's in the next line described to be hazel and charcoal. Hair? Clarify. The part that makes it interesting for me is the title, and the last line. homesick. Very interesting.
It's a liiiittle bit vague in some parts, in regards to what you're actually describing. Like blu_flame34 said, perhaps a little clarification would be useful.

Nevertheless, it was really pretty. I liked the "deep welled hazel, charcoal outlined." Eyeliner.

And I'm a fan of short works. They're less intimidating.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.