#1
That's right, UG! The ultimate excersise in objective and critical integrity is here:

SLAG OFF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS!

The rules are simple; take your favourite band or bands, turn your opinion of them on its head and say the most damnably harsh thing about them you possibly can - the more eloquent, the better.


In the true gentlemanly tradition of a Brit explaining a sport to a colonist before getting his arse kicked at it for the next century or so, I'll start:

The Smiths: Poncy, melodramatic toss. Only one man could ever be arrogant enough to think he'd get away with the lyric "I was looking for a job, and then I found a job" - what total shit.

Primus: A load of atonal, cartoony fudge. Claypool sings like he's got a racing baton wedged in his fucking sinus, writes lyrics any thirteen year-old intrevenously injected with enough THC could come up with, and seems to think hitting partially tuned telegraph wires as hard as he can qualifies as talent on his intrument.


I think that'll be suitable for now. Over to you
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#2
The Strokes: What a bunch of wannabe-garage-rock-raw, spoilt, rich kids. Just because they wear slim clothes and got this "New York City attitude" the little kids think they are cool and refreshing. What a bunch of bullshit. And where the hell did that wannabe-Jim Morrison of a frontman learn to write lyrics? "Strange memories, I love them so/Why won't you wear your new trenchcoat"? Seriously? They're a humiliation to rock music, to say the least.
#3
I wouldn't want to criticize my favourite bands, where is the fun in that?
#5
My favourite band is Metallica, i could slag them off reallty easily...but i dont want to after i'd feel like i chated on them or something...i'd feel dirty
#6
Release your album AXL!!!!!!!!!!!!


He is still the best rock frontman ever in my opinion....
#7
Pink floyd

Bunch of money grabbing toffs.
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#8
Devendra Banhart
****, just when I thought all the hippies died, this annoying beard with feet comes along with a acoustic guitar that he bought off a 12 year old and sings songs about kittens and ballons in the most annoying voice since Les Claypool. When he isn't ripping off Jim Morrison and Bob Dylan, he's attemping to write jazz songs about seahorses. What an annoying douche.
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#10
Wow, only two proper responses. UG - the forum where irony directed towards yourself is completely non-existant.
#11
Quote by European Son
Wow, only two proper responses. UG - the forum where irony directed towards yourself is completely non-existant.

+1
My all gold grills give her cold chills
Said she gotta coke feel cuz I'm sooo trill.
#12
Quote by European Son
The Strokes: What a bunch of wannabe-garage-rock-raw, spoilt, rich kids. Just because they wear slim clothes and got this "New York City attitude" the little kids think they are cool and refreshing. What a bunch of bullshit. And where the hell did that wannabe-Jim Morrison of a frontman learn to write lyrics? "Strange memories, I love them so/Why won't you wear your new trenchcoat"? Seriously? They're a humiliation to rock music, to say the least.

I agree completely.

Anyway, The Stooges:

A crazy guy, singing a bunch of nonsense crazy stuff.. stupid haircuts..


..what's up with the peanut butter..
#13
The Sisters Of Mercy

They're bastards, utter arseholes. Andrew Eldritch hates Goths which makes up, what!? 90% of his fan base. He wont even sign autographs for people in black eyeliner, what's up with that!? Have some damn respect for your fans!

Marilyn Manson

You can stop making music now, you were interesting once....don't ruin it with songs about your ex. Immature idiot.
~:.*.:~She Is Your Suffering~:.*.:~

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#14
Megadeth

Who's the singer? Some 12 year old girl with a sore throat?
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#16
well, no matter how much i love this band, this should be interesting. anyways, i'm just gonna compile what other people hate about them, cuz i cant think of anything bad to say.

Evanescence
jesus, what a stupid band. you cant get a more annoying singer. her lyrics are crap, all about sadness and depression. and all the songs sound exactly the same. could u please play in a different key once in awhile?

and now, i run away in shame for ever having said something like that.
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#18
Sublime

Overrated, sex-crazed, no moral value, and wannabe reggae artists. They recycle lyrics and riffs and try to have their soul shine through the music, but it's only covered by the haze of drugs and crudeness. What a load of bollocks. I'm glad Bradley died. His voice is synonymous to the sound of chainsaws stuck on bone. **** the rasta spirit.


that hurt
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#19
Sonic Youth - what is up with the noise? useless. why can't they just make 3 minute pop songs with simple harmonies? do they think they are artists + poets? garbage. god, someone should tell them that drum sticks are for drumming and screwdrivers are for carpenters.