#1
okay so i have about 8 complete or partially complete songs
many different styles
crit for crit and what not
tell me what you think
all songs writen by me and only me so, if you notice that the bass sucks, thats because i specialize in guitar only really, bleh, ironical
if you listen to all of them tell me if you notice any writing flaws and such, things i could improve upon
and finally any questions just ask

also if you need it in a different format just ask as well, rather than take 3 days i just uploaded gp5 versions

edit:
to save time
here are the names of the songs and what style they are.
-80-hair metal styled song
-caught in a fantasy-similar to like a dragonforce type extravaganza
[^new updated one up, the other file]
-destructive aftermath-my attempt at black metal
-diminished harmonys of faith-sortof like a7x
-death metal-its well death metal, wiht a bit of yngwie
-speed metal deux- shred fest for 50 bars [heavily influenced by speed metal symphony by cacophany]
-wkafm extended-sort of an 80s rockish song
-your goin to hell- alot like acdc and other mainstream rock
Attachments:
song collection.zip
fantasy v3.zip
Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Nov 26, 2007,
#2
I like Your going back to hell the most because the riff on bar 8 is awesome. Reminds me of AC/DC witch is cool. Im glad u posted something like an ac/dc song. The solos are awesome, I like the way the lead guitar is going up . On the 3rd bar i would put a 2 after the 5 on line 3 cus it just sounds right if u did that. the other songs were good but this one i vote wud be the best.

btw thanks for the critc.
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#3
Quote by Jonathan Trejo
I like Your going back to hell the most because the riff on bar 8 is awesome. Reminds me of AC/DC witch is cool. Im glad u posted something like an ac/dc song. The solos are awesome, I like the way the lead guitar is going up . On the 3rd bar i would put a 2 after the 5 on line 3 cus it just sounds right if u did that. the other songs were good but this one i vote wud be the best.

btw thanks for the critc.


heh your welcome
and thanks too

also, im a little confused about where you think i should put that 2

[the funny part about this song is its the one my band hates the most only because they dont like acdc and the second i mentioned it sounded anything like them they simply said "were never gonna play that", that was a month ago and im still trying to get them too=P]
Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Nov 23, 2007,
#4
k on the the third bar there is a 5 right at the end of the 3rd bar. after that 5 put a 2 on the same line and press play! itll sound better from my perspective
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#5
k, ill go through all of em......


destructive aftermath- im sorry but this was not good at all. i think the main problem was that you aimed for a genre. dont do that. just write a song and itll fit where its supposed to fit. as for the music, it just seemed like a bunch of fast, non musical riffs put together with no real structure or rhythm. you could try to work with it, but i would suggest starting it again from scratch and this time dont try to make black metal, just start writing.

diminished harmonies of faith- it was decent i guess. but truthfully, i really didn't enjoy it. however, i liked what you were doing sometimes with the guitars, but i dont know why you constantly dropped out all of the backup. the lead guitar does not sound good by itself. put something under it, even if its just a simple drum beat. the acoustic interlude did not work for the song. i think you should take that and build a more classical song off of it because it sounded great, just not in this song.

speed metal deux-once again, i really didn't enjoy it. seemed like a bunch of riffs thrown together again. the drums didn't fit with the music. they weren't even in the same time....with this one, i think you were trying to hard. when you write a song, try to create a main riff and build off of that. you can have like 20 different riffs, but you should always eventually resolve to a familiar riff somewhere in the song.

wkafm- in this, i like how you have a main riff. though it could still use some work. but you're still going crazy with time sigs and tempos and stuff. you can have changing time sigs, but you need to try to make it flow to the point where a listener won't notice the change in time or tempo. in the last part, you have your power chords in a (ex.) 3-5-5 when i think, unless you want that creepy sound, you be 3-5-6 since it has a d string root.

caught in a fantasy- not really dragonforcy but that really doesn't matter. your main riff sounds out of time. you're rushing that F#5. your lead stuff is still all over the place. doesn't flow nicely with what else is going on. sorry, but this one has potential just needs alot of work.

you're going back to hell- ahhhh . this one's a keeper. all i really have to say is fix the ending. when you go to 50bpm its a horrible transition. and then the song really never has a lasting thought it just kind of goes out and ends. fix that, everything else is pretty good.

death metal in progress- this is an improvement on the other ones. i can see a vague structure and stuff which is good. transitions are better. last solo thing seemed completely uneccessary unless you were gonna go and make it epic. really didn't end the song well.

80- beginning was fun to hear. too much guitar wankery in this song but once it stopped (didnt get that part) the next riff was very loveable ending was lacking though. im assuming its unfinished.


overall, you need to work on structure. other than that it was pretty okay. sorry if my crits make me sound like a jerk. im having a bad day and i think its just being reflected in what i write.

your welcome.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#6
You're going back to hell - Great song right there. I love the chorus. Bar 18 of the first solo sounds kind of out of key to me, specifically the 19s on the B string. I like the slower version of the chorus at the end, but the rest of the ending doesn't really fit IMO. Apart from that, It's really good. Defenitely the best song out of these ones.

WKAFM EXTENDED - Uh, this song was really weird. It didn't have much of a form that I could really tell, except that it kept coming back to one riff. The riff was a very good one, but the solos could use some work, they go out of key and sound bad in some places, and the chords at the end sounded horrible to me. I didn't like this one as much, but definitely keep the main riff, I liked it.

Speed Metal Deux - It was basically just a giant solo between the two guitars. I liked some of the licks, bars 41 to 47 were really good IMO, but it would be better if it had some kind of rhythm guitar underneath, a main riff, a chord progression, something like that.

Diminished Harmonies Of Faith - I liked this one, very nice. It reminded me of something to do with war for some reason. I didn't like the acoustic thing that much though. The keyboard part was good though. Again, it would be better if there was more form, a chord progression under the solo at the end, repeat some of the riffs from the beginning again maybe.

Destructive Aftermath - I liked the intro a lot, some good riffs there. The change to clean and back was very sudden, but I liked it. It's a bit short though. Again, good riffs but it needs better arrangement. The drums need work as well.

Death Metal In Progress - I didn't really like the acoustic intro. The riffs in this were pretty good, but it didn't sound like death metal to me. The drums definitely need work.

Caught In A Fantasy - This song is just all over the place. It didn't really have any riffs that I remembered, it doesn't have anything that memorable, sorry. It did like the sweep thing in bar 60 though.

80 - Very 80s-ish in some parts. I liked some parts again, but it needs better arrangements. I liked the intro, but it quickly turned into a solo with no real form to it. Bars 51-64 has some good riffs.


Basically, I really liked You're Going Back To Hell, but the other ones really need more structure. They have some good riffs, but the arrangements need a lot of work.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#7
I don't know much about metal so I only critted the rock tunes.

80 - some riffs do sound very 80-ish but they are all thrown in there with no order, thats the main problem of the song, the lack of structure as said before, unless vocals take a big role in the song.

Your going back to hell: you've got really good, catchy riffs in this song, awesome lead work, my only complain would be the drums which sounded weird specially at the beginning, and the duration of the song... you should add some more stuff to it.

mind critting mine? (new one from sig) thanks.
#8
destructive aftermath- im sorry but this was not good at all. i think the main problem was that you aimed for a genre. dont do that. just write a song and itll fit where its supposed to fit. as for the music, it just seemed like a bunch of fast, non musical riffs put together with no real structure or rhythm. you could try to work with it, but i would suggest starting it again from scratch and this time dont try to make black metal, just start writing.


yeah i dont like it that much either
but
unfortunatley im the only one who knows how to write music in my band, so, i have to write what they want, which will hopefully get alot better once i take my music theory course

speed metal deux-once again, i really didn't enjoy it. seemed like a bunch of riffs thrown together again. the drums didn't fit with the music. they weren't even in the same time....with this one, i think you were trying to hard. when you write a song, try to create a main riff and build off of that. you can have like 20 different riffs, but you should always eventually resolve to a familiar riff somewhere in the song.


yeah i suck at writing drum tracks...=\
this one however was completely my idea, i just wanted a 9 minute duel guitar solo
which its on its way to,but i havent worked on it in a while

caught in a fantasy- not really dragonforcy but that really doesn't matter. your main riff sounds out of time. you're rushing that F#5. your lead stuff is still all over the place. doesn't flow nicely with what else is going on. sorry, but this one has potential just needs alot of work.


again =\, band wants, and music theory, and very little ability to write something like dragonforce, any other help would be appreciated, i think im going to go work on that song right now, and F#5?