#1
Drum Intro

Verse I

I don't want you talkin' to me
I don't want you lookin' at me
I don't want you beggin' me for one more day

Wake up, bitch, open your eyes
Now smell the coffee, realise that
In this life you never always get your way

Chorus
I don't think you're a killer queen
This isn't what I wanna be
I'm not a f***in' cash machine
But that's all you want me to be
I hate it, but from what I've seen
It's all I'm ever gonna be
I've had enough, W****face, so I'm sayin':
F*** YOU!

Verse II
I'm sick of your lies and deceit
I'm sick of all your guys and cheats
I'm sick af you sayin' to give it one more year

Not afraid to send you packin'
Not afraid 'cause yuo can hack it
Not afraid, no, 'cause I've had it up to here

Chorus
I don't think you're a killer queen
This isn't what I wanna be
I'm not a f***in' cash machine
But that's all you want me to be
I hate it, but from what I've seen
It's all I'm ever gonna be
I've had enough, W****face, so I'm sayin':
F*** YOU!

Guitar Solo

Chorus

I don't think you're a killer queen
This isn't what I wanna be
I'm not a f***in' cash machine
But that's all you want me to be
I hate it, but from what I've seen
It's all I'm ever gonna be
I've had enough, W****face, so I'm sayin':
F*** YOU!

Verse III

You lying, tragic waste of space
W****face
I just see you as my disgrace
W****face
A blemish on the human race
W****face
I'm only gonna say this once,
Stay out my f***in'...

Chorus
...Life! *sustained*
(This isn't what I wanna be)
(That's all you want me to be)
(It's all I'm ever gonna be)
Woah,
F*** YOU!
Last edited by NFXtreme at Nov 25, 2007,
#4
I prescribe several chill pills. I find it a little too angry.... I guess I'm not br00tal enough.

EDIT: And I require to learn write thee real sentences.
Quote by XxLloydxX
How young would you consider no-pedo attempt
#5
I am generally an angry person. It was written when I was thinking about a bitchy girl at school. I will not name names, because there is around 16 of them. So I compiled them all into one person and wrote about breaking off a marriage to her. But yeah, it is kinda brutal. I will tab it out soon enough.
#6
Quote by monkey_dancer
I prescribe several chill pills. I find it a little too angry.... I guess I'm not br00tal enough.

EDIT: And I require to learn write thee real sentences.



Obviously not, you are just some w***face...


>_>


<_<


lulz.
#8
*****face sounds extremely immature, like a little kid insult. I don't mind the Chorus but try to find a better word.
#10
It's a good song, kind of.
It gets the point across at any rate.

A little bit simplistic, but I guess that's how people are when they're angry...

Love the reference to Killer Queen.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
#12
Quote by confusius
Obviously not, you are just some w***face...


>_>


<_<


lulz.


Somebody got the wrong number of stars, thus changing the insult....


Quote by XxLloydxX
How young would you consider no-pedo attempt
#14
i can see this song on my mp3 player
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Quote by tuwyci
why are metal musicians prone to fatness?
Cause there music is heavy.


Writing music is hard D:
#16
def' a metal song....i'm liking it....

maybe i'm outta the loop or something but what is the W****face....? i came to the conclusion that it is one of the following:

WizardFace: because the way shes a bitch cannot be normal.
WeenyFace: shes one of those kinda girls, that takes weenys to the face.
WhaleFace: she fat and bitchy, the worst combination
WiggaFace: shes white and acts ghetto

either way it makes sense to me, badd ass.
#17
Vgnqdezbd

Take the next letter in the alphabet for each of them, and there you go! I would post it, but it gets censored. **** it.
#18
Quote by NFXtreme
Vgnqdezbd

Take the next letter in the alphabet for each of them, and there you go! I would post it, but it gets censored. **** it.
It wouldn't get censored if you weren't such a whoreface.

Pfft! Bloody fucking amateurs, all.
Too God-damned stupid to PM Zappp and ask him to disable the auto-censor on your account.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#19
^ Fucking n00bs.
Get baked, study theory.

Quote by :-D
Why are you bringing Cm into this?
#20
Very juvenile, blatant, and metal. Probably exactly what you were looking for. I'd love to hear Slayer play something like this.

Edit: Don't forget to check out "Winter Wonderland" in another thread. Not exactly this kind of style, but edit what you can.
[img]http://myspace-774.vo.llnwd.net/00952/47/76/952176774_l.jpg[/img]
That's me, bitch!
#21
I love a good angry song. Yeah man, this has potential! Good job; I'd like to see tabs for it sometime when you get 'round to it.

Mark
#22
"But that's all you want me to be" but thats all you want from me, would sound better


I think the chorus has "be" in it too many times, i find thats a poor technique but other then that this song is pretty entertaining. good job.
#23
Quote by NFXtreme
Drum Intro

Verse I

I don't want you talkin' to me
I don't want you lookin' at me
I don't want you beggin' me for one more day

Wake up, bitch, open your eyes
Now smell the coffee, realise that
In this life you never always get your way

I don't like the initial repetition, I know what you were going for but "I don't want you..." is just so bland and overused... once is forgivable, but to continually use that cliche ridden line... is just depressing. However, the message is quite clear, from the get-go, which is a good thing in an angry piece... because subtle angry pieces become angsty and "Bright eyes-y." I'd take 'Now' out of the next to last line. I'd also replace never with 'don't' it just makes more sense.

Chorus
I don't think you're a killer queen
This isn't what I wanna be
I'm not a f***in' cash machine
But that's all you want me to be
I hate it, but from what I've seen
It's all I'm ever gonna be
I've had enough, W****face, so I'm sayin':
F*** YOU!

Love the Queen reference. The Queen Machine rhyme is good too. However, after that it foes down hill. It just becomes less eloquent. You start out with a metaphor, and a personification and end it blatant swearing, which rarely accomplished what you want it to do. WE GET IT, you're pissed, however A) Whoreface is immature and not even a good insult and 2) F you doesn't add anything... it may sound good when screamed, however as far as actal depth you may as well have written "aldfkjafa" and put an exclamation mark... it accomplishes nothing here, from a strictly lyrical standpoint. Plus, I just enjoy pieces than can express themselves without the swearing better, as it takes more talent to insult as Shakespeare and Chuchill did, than to say F**k You.

Verse II
I'm sick of your lies and deceit
I'm sick of all your guys and cheats
I'm sick af you sayin' to give it one more year

Not afraid to send you packin'
Not afraid 'cause you can hack it <--spelling error... i fixed it.
Not afraid, no, 'cause I've had it up to here

I'd take out the ",no," it just breaks the flow and basically makes that line intolerable. This isn't bad... has a good flow. It's nothing original or profound. But, it is typicla angry lines with a decent flow...


Verse III

You lying, tragic waste of space
W****face
I just see you as my disgrace
W****face
A blemish on the human race
W****face
I'm only gonna say this once,
Stay out my f***in'...

I'd call this more of a breakdown than a verse. The flow is good. Again, the word wh***face just ruins this. It's just too immature and honestly, not as brutal. It's one of those things that when someone says it, I giggle because it not really harsh enough to be an insult, nor nice enough to not be one.

Chorus
...Life! *sustained*
(This isn't what I wanna be)
(That's all you want me to be)
(It's all I'm ever gonna be)
Woah,
F*** YOU!

Don't really know what the Chorus is doing in between the breakdown adn this ending... so I'm going to pretend its not there since this is a continuance of the previous line. I like the idea of those being whispered behing L----I------F-----E!. Again, not a fan of swearing.



What you have here is a typical, mediocre angry piece. You've picked a subject, you've expressed grievances and sworn a lot. It's not bad, by an stretch of the imagination, its just not creative or new or original either. You've done what thousands of punk bands and angsty metal bands have been doing for years... but used a word (wh***face) that just doesn't cut it. You need a better insult, or angry descriptor. Hell, I'd have even prefered slutbag, even though its just as immature, at least it sounds degrading instead of laughable.

Sorry to be so negative, but if no one points out the negatives (which not many have yet) you aren't going to get much from the critiques. Let me know when you get it on the profile, I think it could be good set to music... assuming the guitar solo kicks ass.

C4C Two Shovelfuls (in sig)

peace and coconuts,

-zC