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#1
Here are some funny things I've heard people say at my school. Feel free to post your own.

I heard these two from one from the side of the room
Honestly, I have, like, the hairiest ass-crack you could possibly imagine
Kelly, I'm gonna fart on you!
Girl: You want this Caramel bar? (pronounces it "Carmul")

Guy: What's "Carmul"?! Do you mean "Car-e-mel"?

Girl: Well, I call it "Carmul".

Guy: And I call you "stupid"
*during a chemistry lab, water drops on a girl's shirt*

Girl: Huh? I'm getting wet.

Guy: That's what she said
As I read these, I can't believe I'm a senior in High School.
#2
Friend 1: I can't find my keys anywhere!
Friend 2: Did you check under there?
Friend 1: Under where?
Friend 2: hah I just made you say underwear


It was so ****ing funny, because it was totally unexpected.
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#3
Girl: I just got the new Fall Out Boy CD, it's so good.
It's a process, not an event.
#4
...TC, you just reminded me off one last year in my junior year.

Spanish Teacher: *says something in spanish, but struggled a bit* Ahh, i couldnt quite get that around my tounge"

Guy in the back: thats what she said
-------------------------------------------

everybody seemed to hear it except the teacher
#5
Friend 1: When's your birthday?
Me: February 23, exactly a month before his *points at Friend 2*
Friend 1: Oh so his birthday is in May.
<('.'< ^('.')^ (>'.')>
#6
*While watching the movie, "A Walk To Remember"*

Guy: JAMIE'S A WHOOORE!!!
I hope it's cold, everyday, where you are.
#7
Quote by Do Re Mi
Girl: I just got the new Fall Out Boy CD, it's so good.



good one!
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#8
Teacher: whats wrong bobby..?

Bobby: I don't know Dan said something about bringing a gun to school today..

Dan: (across the room) ..ohhh ****KK.
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#9
You can't have babies out the brown hole!




What if you could store food in your vagina to keep it at body temperature or to warm it up/defrost it? That'd be amazing. They should invent vaginal tupperware that you could use to warm your food.


Teacher: I'm gonna teach you guys how to say "I am Horny" in Deutsch.



.....
#10
posted up on the wall with all my friends contemplating the bon fire that night

Edward: So whos gonna bring the Wood
Justin: I think Rudy said he was going to
*Rudy walks into the conversation*
Edward: Hey R U gonna bring the wood tonight?
Rudy: well I dont got any at my house but... Im sure i can get my hands on some wood.
#11
Quote by NightEmbers
posted up on the wall with all my friends contemplating the bon fire that night

Edward: So whos gonna bring the Wood
Justin: I think Rudy said he was going to
*Rudy walks into the conversation*
Edward: Hey R U gonna bring the wood tonight?
Rudy: well I dont got any at my house but... Im sure i can get my hands on some wood.


hahahaha
MetalHead73
So I, with a broomstick(Just in case) walk right where they can see me and I said:
"You kids ever taken a broom up the ass?"
The look on their face was priceless, and they ran, and I mean ran like a bat out of hell.
#12
God theres too many too quote/remember from school but thinking about them its hard to believe im going to be a senior at school next year

Edit:/\ you just reminded me of something. Theres this gut in our school called Max wood. I laugh every time i hear it
#14
Some guy, under his breath, almost inaudibly: "****ing crabs..."
Oh no he just divided by zero again...*gets sucked into vortex*

Originally Posted by Sirwinston89
whoa man this is turning into the Dream Theater appreciation thread!!! If only every thread kicked this much ass!


You're welcome
#15
"Oh my god I was so drunk that night, I didn't know i gave him a blow job"
"It wasn't just once."
"I DID IT MORE THAN ONCE?!"

In the darkroom in Photo.
The teacher walked in as she was saying it.
Peace, Love, Empathy.
#17
Guy 1: DUDE! Stop a** raping me you faggot
Guy 2: Oh god! I can't help it

That didn't go over to well with the teachers hahah.
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#18
me-man i saw star wars ep 3 last night and chewbacca was in it

Aaoron-did you see chewies mouth

me-no

Aaoron-do you wanna see it

Me-why its not really important

Aaron-well i have it in the back of my pants

HAHAHA
its funny cuz once they pantsed him and he walked around bare assed i didnt see it but my friend ivan saiD'he's got a bushy ass"

i said "you looked at his ASS?? your FRIKKING GAY!!"
#19
So i had the best english teacher last year ever......(names withheld for saftey)


Kid 1: Hey *kid2* **** you big head!
Kid 2 : Hey go kick rocks you black asshole!
English teacher: You know *kid 2* im up here trying to get you ready for the OGT's the thing thats going to decide whether you pass school or not! But not just piss off the english teacher and shout out profanities and **** in teh back of the room, you know i hope you fail the ****ing OGT and get kicked out and then youll be in public school! and you pull **** liek this and its off ot juvenile hall! and I just cant WAIT for you to lose that ANAL virginity of yours because its so goddamn funny to piss me off in class!

*english teacher proceeds to throw Kid 2 out of the room*

Another day, someone said god bless america and kid 1 said EXCEPT FOR THE JEWS AND HOMOSEXUALS, and YOU KNOW TIS TRUE!

English teacher: Yeah *kid1* cuz we just hate faggots and jews dont we, you know what you guys are just a bunch of "hollow men"(literature reference about bad people lol) I mean we got Kid 1 over here having his mom pick up his condom wrappers on the floor by his bed and telling *kid 2* to go kick rocks and were talking about ****in girls up the ass and kicking babies and yelling out 69 and leaving papers that say Penis and 69 on them in the enlgish books and of course *kid4* and vaginal terrorism! Then we got *kid3* texting on his cell phone hes just been waving his dick in ym face all year texting on is phone *proceeds to take out hsi cell and wave it around* And i have just had it!

The whole class is dying of laughter, hes so goddamn funny.....
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#20
Girl- I'm on my period right now..
Tonight I kill your fucking face.
I killed your face.


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#21
This is in my 8th grade year, by the way. In PE.

Me: Hey Mr. B, see that dead rabbit over there? See this stick? I want to poke the rabbit with the stick. Can I?

Mr. B: No. Justin, get away from the rabbit!

Justin: ...That's a BIGASS rabbit!
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#22
Kid in sleep-mrs.V,,,,,,Mrs.V,,,Mrs.V Do you like that take it

Mrs.V-john i dont like it

kid in sleep-is it in there

Mrs.V wakes him up and everyone was staring at him
worst part she uglyier than hell

even worst i think he creamed himself
#23
Black Guy: stupid little dickhead
Little kid: shut you stupid black dog
Black Guy:I fucked your mum yesterday and sucked her tits
Little Kid: I sucked your d... (kid stops)
Black guy: ahahahah you gay little poof
Little kid: (runs away)
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
#24
Me: Why are gay people so bitchy all the time?
Friend: Yeah, they just get so anal about everything.
Got Bass?
#25
"Hey! Connor! Your name is almost cancer!"
I hope it's cold, everyday, where you are.
#26
backround-im in 7th hour math we have partner activitys in this other room with big round tables girl one sitting on the right boy 1 sitting on left with legs twoard girl1 not under the table


girl 1 leans to her left and starts txting
Teacher-*girl1* could you please look up

Me-yeah *girl1* stop sucking *boy1*'s ****

best delivery ever

best moment ever

best explanation to Dean-Well i thought she was sucking all the sperm out of him
and he told me he wanted to have kids
#27
*while in AP history class having a lecture about slave revolts*

Teacher: So what could a slave get by telling their master of a possible slave revolt?

Kid in class: cookies


i rofled for like..10 minutes
#28
Backstory: Girl 1 brings in a McFlurry (Mcdonalds ice ceam) on a day that is cooold as hell, like 20 degrees F. So obvioulsy too cold for ice cream. Girl 2 makes it look like she's brought in a nuclear bomb and makes a huge fuss about it. all the while I'm sitting next to girl 2 listening to her bitch about girl 1 nd her ice cream

Girl 2: Oh my god?!! Doesn't she realize how f'in cold it is outside, she's ****ing psycotic for bring in ice cream. It's only like 20 degreess outside. Iwent out to lunch today and my car said itwas only 20 degrees out, and she's eating ice cream. Is she ****ing stupid? It's so dman cold out, dont eat ice cream, are you listeing to me?!
Me: Truthfully, no
Girl 2: Hhhmmmph, you're an asshole.

She;s a good friend of mine, but she does think that the world revolves around her 24/7, so she does get quite bitchy from time to time, especially when it's her time of the month. AAARGH it's bad.
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#29
Quote by guitar_freak333
Backstory: Girl 1 brings in a McFlurry (Mcdonalds ice ceam) on a day that is cooold as hell, like 20 degrees F. So obvioulsy too cold for ice cream. Girl 2 makes it look like she's brought in a nuclear bomb and makes a huge fuss about it. all the while I'm sitting next to girl 2 listening to her bitch about girl 1 nd her ice cream

Girl 2: Oh my god?!! Doesn't she realize how f'in cold it is outside, she's ****ing psycotic for bring in ice cream. It's only like 20 degreess outside. Iwent out to lunch today and my car said itwas only 20 degrees out, and she's eating ice cream. Is she ****ing stupid? It's so dman cold out, dont eat ice cream, are you listeing to me?!
Me: Truthfully, no
Girl 2: Hhhmmmph, you're an asshole.

She;s a good friend of mine, but she does think that the world revolves around her 24/7, so she does get quite bitchy from time to time, especially when it's her time of the month. AAARGH it's bad.


man its the best time to eat ice cream when its cold enough to NOT melt fast
#30
i dont remember exactly what but:

me: *explaining some math sh*t"

friend: "I'm corn-fused!"

it was hilarious cuz I was trying to be all serious.
#31
Quote by guitar_freak333
Backstory: Girl 1 brings in a McFlurry (Mcdonalds ice ceam) on a day that is cooold as hell, like 20 degrees F. So obvioulsy too cold for ice cream. Girl 2 makes it look like she's brought in a nuclear bomb and makes a huge fuss about it. all the while I'm sitting next to girl 2 listening to her bitch about girl 1 nd her ice cream

Girl 2: Oh my god?!! Doesn't she realize how f'in cold it is outside, she's ****ing psycotic for bring in ice cream. It's only like 20 degreess outside. Iwent out to lunch today and my car said itwas only 20 degrees out, and she's eating ice cream. Is she ****ing stupid? It's so dman cold out, dont eat ice cream, are you listeing to me?!
Me: Truthfully, no
Girl 2: Hhhmmmph, you're an asshole.

She;s a good friend of mine, but she does think that the world revolves around her 24/7, so she does get quite bitchy from time to time, especially when it's her time of the month. AAARGH it's bad.


XD i could actually hear her talking
#32
in guitar lab 1, a class for retards to learn the parts of a guitar, but not how to play it. i took it just for the credit. the teacher was a clarinet player, and demonstrated everything on piano cause he couldn't play guitar. i was sitting next to my friend, who's an even better guitarist than me.

Teacher: Now, you can sometimes change key with a capo... (but pronounced cop-o)
Friend: How about i shove this guitar-o up your ass-o!
#33
Quote by corrylb19
in guitar lab 1, a class for retards to learn the parts of a guitar, but not how to play it. i took it just for the credit. the teacher was a clarinet player, and demonstrated everything on piano cause he couldn't play guitar. i was sitting next to my friend, who's an even better guitarist than me.

Teacher: Now, you can sometimes change key with a capo... (but pronounced cop-o)
Friend: How about i shove this guitar-o up your ass-o!


LOLLLL I LOVED THAT ONE!!
Note: Sorry if my grammar and/or vocabulary isn't very good, English is my 2nd language!

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#34
"Shit NayNay, it's cold as a motha fuka and joo got dem tittays hanging all out. come over here and let me get a taste"


haha

i was crippled and late to class laughing at what that guy said
#35
Quote by guitar_freak333
Backstory: Girl 1 brings in a McFlurry (Mcdonalds ice ceam) on a day that is cooold as hell, like 20 degrees F. So obvioulsy too cold for ice cream. Girl 2 makes it look like she's brought in a nuclear bomb and makes a huge fuss about it. all the while I'm sitting next to girl 2 listening to her bitch about girl 1 nd her ice cream

Girl 2: Oh my god?!! Doesn't she realize how f'in cold it is outside, she's ****ing psycotic for bring in ice cream. It's only like 20 degreess outside. Iwent out to lunch today and my car said itwas only 20 degrees out, and she's eating ice cream. Is she ****ing stupid? It's so dman cold out, dont eat ice cream, are you listeing to me?!
Me: Truthfully, no
Girl 2: Hhhmmmph, you're an asshole.

She;s a good friend of mine, but she does think that the world revolves around her 24/7, so she does get quite bitchy from time to time, especially when it's her time of the month. AAARGH it's bad.


hehe..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA....


you think 20 degrees F is cold, come visit me in fargo, north dakota, where a toasty 20 below is always welcome.

anyway, me and a friend always like saying very odd things while walking down the halls to confuse or disgust people, such as when this hot girl i knew walked by us and i said, "*cough*, ugh, i cant this semen out of the back of my throat." funny looks ensued.
#36
Teacher asking trivia "Name one person from the 1994 (year?) women's olympic basketball team?"

friend: "Magic Johnson... After the surgery"

dunno why I remember that but it was really good especially considering it was in 7th or 8th grade.
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#37
Quote by JC13
Oh God. I have so many from band class in grades 8 and 9.. I swear the conductor (really creepy guy) tried as hard as he could to make everything an innuendo... Some notable ones.

"John (drummer), you need a tighter grip on your wood.. Just hit it like this"

"David (trumpet player), your horn is sounding a little squeaky, did you remember to work the lubricant around it?"

Infact, after the first week we just stopped even saying "That's what she said", we just looked at each other, and died laughing inside..


I had an assistant band director in middle school who would always tell us to "finger and blow". I'm pretty sure he was gay too...
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#38
oh and another i forgot

Teacher: Okay kids who sentenced jesus to be crucified (theology class in like 3rd grade)
class clown: POMPOUS PENGUIN!!! (supposed to be pontius pilate)

i had an aneurysm from trying to hold back my laughter.
#39
I've got quite a few.

Firstly, we were in a science class, watching videos on reproduction.

Teacher: Now, the next video is even better!
Friend: YES!!
Teacher: What do you think I meant by that?
Friend: More exposure!

Same teacher and friend had this short converasation as well:

Teacher: What's something that can go wrong during pregnancy?
Friend: The baby can fall on the floor.
Teacher: *confused look*




#40
pop testicles....my math teacher said that
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