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#1
Hey guys, I need some help.

Over the last few days I've been getting numorous uneccesary erections. I've never been embarassed by one, but I can only keep cheating death for so long! Even when a girl just says something remotely sexual my penis starts filling like a creme filled donut. Even when I'm just hugged! It's so strange. Help/explainations please.
#4
Maybe you jerk it too much?
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#7
It's called being an average male.
Quote by noxiosimitator
I play guitar long then half the people here .. and I suck double as much

EDIT: on the guitar
EDIT EDIT: in playing with my guitar
EDIT EDIT EDIT: I give up
#8
Quote by Agent_00Funk
Think about fat guys rubbing up against you while they are naked. Something along those lines.



Your avatar's caption shouldn't read, "Mosh buddy," as much as it should read "Violent Suprise Forced Blowjob Buddy."
#9
Quote by Slut
It's called being an average male.


But I see these guys huddling on the girlfriends and I know that if I tried I would pop a stub!
#12
So what you guys are telling me is that these dudes who can rub up on girls can do so only because they spank their monkey non-stop?! :O
#13
Quote by RearyGay
But I see these guys huddling on the girlfriends and I know that if I tried I would pop a stub!

Dunno if you have tried it but masturbation does work my friend.
#14
dont wear sweat pants
Roses are red
Voilets are blue
The only bulge in my pocket is my wallet
No i'm not happy to see you
#16
Quote by rooster456
Your avatar's caption shouldn't read, "Mosh buddy," as much as it should read "Violent Suprise Forced Blowjob Buddy."


That would of fitted in the avatar caption thread.
#20
roflmaohelicopterpeanutbutter

This new generation of UG is mind-blowing.
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#21
I used to duct tape my willie to the side of my leg. That way, when I got an erection, it went down my pant leg instead of busting out my zipper.
#25
Quote by RearyGay
Hey guys, I need some help.

Over the last few days I've been getting numorous uneccesary erections. I've never been embarassed by one, but I can only keep cheating death for so long! Even when a girl just says something remotely sexual my penis starts filling like a creme filled donut. Even when I'm just hugged! It's so strange. Help/explainations please.

Your name claims that you are gay, but you say that you aren't?
uhhhh, yea
#26
Ok everyone listen up, this is a life saver. When you get a stiffy point it up and tuck it underneath the waist band of your boxes and/or pants. It doesn't show. Happy boner hiding
#27
Quote by drunkinkoala
Ok everyone listen up, this is a life saver. When you get a stiffy point it up and tuck it underneath the waist band of your boxes and/or pants. It doesn't show. Happy boner hiding


Haha I do that around the house.
#29
Quote by drunkinkoala
Ok everyone listen up, this is a life saver. When you get a stiffy point it up and tuck it underneath the waist band of your boxes and/or pants. It doesn't show. Happy boner hiding


I don't have enough shirt.
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#30
how old are you?

....13, you say?

perfectly normal.
Quote by SeveralSpecies
Btw, I don't spell it doughnut, because that spells duff-nut.
#31
Yeah I've been doing "The Tuck" for years. Problem is when you get an erection in class somehow or are around a few people. Can't quickly reach in and rearrange, so just have to hope you don't have to stand up for any reason.
#32
Quote by drunkinkoala
Ok everyone listen up, this is a life saver. When you get a stiffy point it up and tuck it underneath the waist band of your boxes and/or pants. It doesn't show. Happy boner hiding


Dude I was just going to say that!!

It's boner hiding happy lucky satisfaction 100%.
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#33
Quote by IzRG350
Yeah I've been doing "The Tuck" for years. Problem is when you get an erection in class somehow or are around a few people. Can't quickly reach in and rearrange, so just have to hope you don't have to stand up for any reason.

Usually I quickly re-arrange when no-ones looking.

edit: also i think the tuck should be taught in school or somewhere where boys can learn it cuz it's a very valuable lesson.
Last edited by drunkinkoala at Nov 28, 2007,
#34
I received a boner in class today and I tried tucking it but my belt was on too tight. I decided to man up and present how to do a problem from my geometry homework with my hard on fully visible.
#36
If you can't preform the "Texas Tuck", take your erection and manoeuvre it over to one side of your pants. Put your hand in your pocket and grab your throbbing member and hold it firm. Try not to make it look too obvious though. The last thing you want is to make it look like you're playing some pocket pinball in public. That might cause some negative reactions.

If you just want to get rid of it, pinch yourself somewhere to create a distraction. Or, hold your breath for as long as you can. I guess your body recognizes that the blood could be better used elsewhere and decides to defuse the situation.

Good luck Champ.
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#38
Quote by Agent_00Funk
Think about fat guys rubbing up against you while they are naked. Something along those lines.


That just gave me one... weird.
#40
Quote by BenFoffenbock
If you can't preform the "Texas Tuck", take your erection and manoeuvre it over to one side of your pants. Put your hand in your pocket and grab your throbbing member and hold it firm. Try not to make it look too obvious though. The last thing you want is to make it look like you're playing some pocket pinball in public. That might cause some negative reactions.

Oh yeah, I do that a lot to hide it.
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