#1
Hello Everyone. Back to ruin all the good pieces by posting a very bad one ]= Sorry Crit 4 Crit.

Stop, think,
About what this world has become.

Don’t leave,
I don’t wanna lose anyone.

Look deep,
Into yourself.

See the fear,
Of a thousand generations.

Now ask,
Yourself the dreaded question.

What have I done?
O Hai der.
#2
first i wanna say thanks for critin my piece and you and hopefully others will learn that if you crit my stuff i will FOR SURE return the crit anyways with that said let me move on to your piece


Stop, think,
About what this world has become.

Don’t leave,
I don’t wanna lose anyone.= i want to say that i like the become-anyone false rhyme there its nice and doesnt feel forced to me anyways

Look deep,
Into yourself.

See the fear,=what fear am i lookin for? could you send me a priv message to clear that up for me i really would like to know just exactly what you mean there anyways moving right along
Of a thousand generations.

Now ask,
Yourself the dreaded question.

What have I done?
now this piece is very much more clear as to what you are tryin to say,perhaps? but it is still equally confusing when it come to critin, welll from my view anyways i did like it i could not find anything to change the only thing i would do is ADD MORE to it. i think you deffinantly have somthin here once again thanks for critin my stuff
if you'd like i have another piece called "girls are ****ing evil my friend"
you can check that one out and tell me what you think the link is
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=709143
i dunno?
pardon me... do you have any grey poupon?