#1
I put 'song' in those things casue i have a compulsive rhyming disorder lol so its more like a poem and i know its cliched and rhymes are dodgy at some places but its my first thing so what do you think? Can ou tell me specifically good and bad bits/lines thanks :-)

It’s hard to suppress the pain I feel inside
When I’m fighting my desire to just break down and cry
And the hurt goes so deep and I’m losing all control
The sleepless nights I’m living are starting to take their toll

If only you’d have listened
Or I’d heard the words you said
Now I’m feeling faint
From the non-stop aching in my head
That night will always haunt me
From now till the end of time
I hope that night will haunt you
For the rest of your no good life

Look how could this have happened when we were meant to be
I’ll live forever wondering about the way life could have been
But the past is just that, and there’s nothing you can do
Mistakes were made lives were changed I know that you hurt too

If only you’d have listened
Or I’d heard the words you said
I’m starting to feel faint
From the non-stop aching in my head
That night will always haunt me
From now till the end of time
I hope that night will haunt you
For the rest of your no good life

Reaching out for anyone
To rescue me from me
The sun has set the darkness falls
Now there’s nothing left to see

So if only you’d have listened
Or I’d heard the words you said
I’m starting to feel faint
From the non-stop aching in my head
That night will always haunt me
From now till the end of time
I hope that night will haunt you
For the rest of your no good life
#2
Hey man,

Welcome to the forums. If you could, could you please read the rules about titles and whatnot. They will help keep everything much less confusing than they already are.

I'm going to report you, but no worries, they'll just close this thread and then you can repost it with an appropriate title. and seriously, no worries, my first one was closed as well for this same reason.

peace and coconuts,

-zC

*reported*