weird/awkward/embarrassing sexual moments you've had with your girlfriend/wife

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#1
hjdg

this is a random thread for anyone to tell their weird/awkward/embarrassing sexual moments they've had with their girlfriend or wife. dont ask why i made this as it is completely random.
#4
Search, there's already more than one.
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#7
my pen0r started get all hard and long. was scary as hell. needless to say, completely awkward.


EDIT: youve removed all chances of masturbation jokes... dammit
#9
I caught her in bed with a chick...

...no wait that wasn't awkward...I was fully prepared for that moment since the age of 13.
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#10
the condom broke....


jk
but there hasn't been anything super akward... besides us under some covers, she had her pants off and her sister walked in... thank god she didn't look under the covers
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go back to sleep
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#12
second time we made out....she said "you've gotten way better in the last 24 hours...who've you been practicing on?"

that was awkward enough, cause i (obv) hadnt been....but then

Me: "no one but you"
Her: (joking)"oh come on, you can tell me...was it (insert random girl's name here)?
Me: "nope..."
Her: "or was it bob? he's basically your boyfriend....is there something you haven't told me?"
Me: "right, cause i'm coming out of the closet now, when we're in the back of my car and i've got the most gorgeous girl in the school lying on me. right."
Her: "Oh, so that's why you don't have a boner."

\O/

I dare someone to top this.
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#13
Quote by Kid Fisto
second time we made out....she said "you've gotten way better in the last 24 hours...who've you been practicing on?"

that was awkward enough, cause i (obv) hadnt been....but then

Me: "no one but you"
Her: (joking)"oh come on, you can tell me...was it (insert random girl's name here)?
Me: "nope..."
Her: "or was it bob? he's basically your boyfriend....is there something you haven't told me?"
Me: "right, cause i'm coming out of the closet now, when we're in the back of my car and i've got the most gorgeous girl in the school lying on me. right."
Her: "Oh, so that's why you don't have a boner."

\O/

I dare someone to top this.


me and my girlfriend were talkin yesterday.... just talkin and she was on top of me... and I started pelvic thrusting.... and the conversation just continued.... there was a breif pause were we both realized how weird what we were doin was... then continued.....
Quote by bpoeoanry
go back to sleep
Waking up with boobs? Is there a visine for that.
#14
Quote by killedbyaspork
me and my girlfriend were talkin yesterday.... just talkin and she was on top of me... and I started pelvic thrusting.... and the conversation just continued.... there was a breif pause were we both realized how weird what we were doin was... then continued.....

ok that one is pretty bad....but seriously mine was so awkward that i thought my head would explode.
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#15
Quote by Bass_Wannabe
I ****-slapped my ex-girlfriend once.


Please. It's called a mushroom stamp.
#16
Man, it was really awkward when she woke up. Everything was going great until right about then.


Really, though, the most awkward thing to happen... that I can think of, anyway, would have to be when I was lucky enough to be getting some nice attention while driving

and not expecting it, hit a speed bump. She almost choked, and hit that gag reflex.

NOT FUN.
#17
nosebleed anybody?
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Indiana Scout Acoustic in Sparkly Blue
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Fab Tone
#18
she got pregnant.
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#19
has sex with girl in mothers bedroom.

Cleans bedroom for all evidence of said deed (hair, mikrobes etc)

2 hours later, mum is at the door, holding a tampon wrapper in her hand, looking not so pleased with her son.

Fail=me
#20
Quote by Våd Hamster
has sex with girl in mothers bedroom.

Cleans bedroom for all evidence of said deed (hair, mikrobes etc)

2 hours later, mum is at the door, holding a tampon wrapper in her hand, looking not so pleased with her son.

Fail=me



...tampon?
#21
Quote by Våd Hamster
has sex with girl in mothers bedroom.

Cleans bedroom for all evidence of said deed (hair, mikrobes etc)

2 hours later, mum is at the door, holding a tampon wrapper in her hand, looking not so pleased with her son.

Fail=me

wait....why was there a tampon wrapper?
Songs!
Something's Changed
Frost

BC Rich Mockingbird Evil Edge
Dean Palomino Vintage Sunburst
Indiana Scout Acoustic in Sparkly Blue
Kustom Arrow 16DFX, soon to be a Vox Valvetronix 50
Dimebag Custom Crybaby
Fab Tone
#23
Quote by Våd Hamster
has sex with girl in mothers bedroom.

Cleans bedroom for all evidence of said deed (hair, mikrobes etc)

2 hours later, mum is at the door, holding a tampon wrapper in her hand, looking not so pleased with her son.

Fail=me

Idk what you were doing...but its not what we're talking about
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#24
Quote by killedbyaspork
me and my girlfriend were talkin yesterday.... just talkin and she was on top of me... and I started pelvic thrusting.... and the conversation just continued.... there was a breif pause were we both realized how weird what we were doin was... then continued.....

pfft, that's normal.

#26
Quote by Kid Fisto
wait....why was there a tampon wrapper?



Someone likes it kinky........ REALLY KINKY
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#27
Quote by Superpartydude5
...tampon?


my gf had mens at the time, so she left the wrapper on a small table without me noticing....and she forgot about it.

I've never seen my mother so pissed.
#28
Quote by Våd Hamster
has sex with girl in mothers bedroom.

Cleans bedroom for all evidence of said deed (hair, mikrobes etc)

2 hours later, mum is at the door, holding a tampon wrapper in her hand, looking not so pleased with her son.

Fail=me


she forgot a ****ing tampon...
#29
Vad uses tampon wrappers for a condom, obviously!!!!

OR he just kind of shoves the tampon up is c*ck...
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#30
Well...

My ex was giving me head when my friend was over. We were in the little room and he went into my room because me and her had gotten into it some. Keep in mind, the only thing separating him from seeing me get head was a blanket I had thrown over the doorway. A couple hours later she left, and me and him were talking and random ****, then he goes and says.

"I saw your girlfriend sucking your dick."
#31
Quote by Kid Fisto
[story]

I dare someone to top this.

That's not awkward, she just owned you.

By the by, I just found a reaaaallly explicit "pwned" picture. There is no explicit nudity, but even I am afraid to post it.

-SD
#32
Quote by SilentDeftone
That's not awkward, she just owned you.

By the by, I just found a reaaaallly explicit "pwned" picture. There is no explicit nudity, but even I am afraid to post it.

-SD
Oh, just post it you big softie.
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#33
Quote by JC13
You win the award for: Most awkward moment that had a billion excuses that would have worked.

Said a friend was over? Tampons don't usually point to sex, condom wrapper would mean you were screwed however.


Although, my mothers bedroom is on the other side of the house.... She's too old to use them, and i don't have any siblings, so it's like 2+2 for her....
#37
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH

EPIC WIN for Silent Deftone!!!
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#38
i use to hate that faggot in the, what was it...monster **** section?

his face makes me cringe, and his teeth, pretty everything about him makes me want to **** him up (i couldn't, but you understand).
#39
Quote by Våd Hamster
Although, my mothers bedroom is on the other side of the house.... She's too old to use them, and i don't have any siblings, so it's like 2+2 for her....

"My girlfriend was over and needed to put a tampon in? She just happened to take it out of the wrapper when we were in your room?"
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#40
me. that was intense
her. sure.....um so yea your a really sweet guy, but i think its best we just stay friends
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