#1
Yeah. bout a girl, kinda forced, crit for crit


Has my Time Passed
Have you giving up on me
Sometimes thoughts move to fast
But I will always dream........of you
Like a sun you will rise
into the sky and burn my eyes

Im singing to you
do you hear my voice
what can i do
make me your choice
I would do anything

Your smell is like sweet summer rain
you taste is a delicacy
Im slowly going insane
Im slowly losing clarity
And I want You, What can I do
I swear its true, I need you

Im singing to you
do you hear my voice
what can i do
make me your choice
I would do anything
#3
im sure its sincere..

but unless this song is for a girl with an average or lower IQ,
I don't think it's gonna win her over.

Try making the language more flowery.
Less generic.

the verses work,
but the chorus has been used a zillion times.

sorry. i try not to be negative on here, but its for your own benefit.
if you want to listen that is.