#1
So I have nothing to do this weekend so I want to make a short Christmas film. Only problem is I am entirly out of ideas. So I want you to tell me your christmas stories. And if one is awesome or funny or weird enough...i will use it for my short film.

Oh ya and id really rather not try to fight that stupid christmas thread so dont give me poop about that. Also if you think you can make something up go right ahead.
#2
How bout, you have some kid waiting for Santa Claus to come to his house. Then, when he comes downstairs to see him, he sees some crazy guy in a Santa Claus outfit raping his mom while the rest of the family are sliced to pieces on the floor. Then, the crazy guy in a Santa Claus outfit kills the mom, then kills the son and proceeds to the next house for more raping/killing.
#3
A tortured soul goes to hell, but is redeemed on christmas day. Afterwards he is forced to open three gifts of fate.....
"He can dance if he wants too, he can leave his friends behind..."


Quote by Tsucchi
Because nothing is sexier than a man with a mouth full of crayons.
#4
Make up your own your not getting my Christmas stories, like the time this guy dressed up like santa and broke into my house except it wasnt really santa, it was to late.....by the time i had realized this he rapped me, i was at the tender age of 6........
PANDEMIC GROUP

Slash is trash

I has golfclaps!
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#5
I saw Santa one time.

True story.


Quote by turbopunk2000
How bout, you have some kid waiting for Santa Claus to come to his house. Then, when he comes downstairs to see him, he sees some crazy guy in a Santa Claus outfit raping his mom while the rest of the family are sliced to pieces on the floor. Then, the crazy guy in a Santa Claus outfit kills the mom, then kills the son and proceeds to the next house for more raping/killing.



What the fuck is wrong with you?
#6
How 'bout a kid comes downstairs and sees mommy kissing Santa Claus under the mistletoe. The child then runs upstairs to tell his/her father. The father becomes enraged because the wife has been unfaithful before and files for a divorce. The kid's parents separate and is forced to live in a broken home because of what s/he did.
#8
Quote by swordsrkewl
Make up your own your not getting my Christmas stories, like the time this guy dressed up like santa and broke into my house except it wasnt really santa, it was to late.....by the time i had realized this he rapped me, i was at the tender age of 6........


Yeah I hate it when people rap me. Who are they to speak in rythmic patterns creating a song about me. Damn them. I thought I was the only one.
#10
you should make a comercial about it, like it should start of like this
"coming this december, the fat man that everyone has forgotten has come back, and ready to kill,*santa cocks shotgun while walking down in a hall, and highway to hell starts to play in the backround* ITS A BLOODY BLOODY CHRISTMAS, staring larry the cable guy as santa, *while saying that it shows larry saying "GIT ER DUN"* *and chris tucker as santas funny black helper and then chris tucker says something funny*
#11
This one time on Christmas, I went to the Pit, and discovered there was already an Only Christmas Thread. So I posted my story there.
Death to Ovation haters!
#12
Santa is murdered by al Qaeda.

*Cue Kill Bill theme*

And someone's gotta pay...
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#13
This one year, my cat ate Christmas tinsel.
For about a week, he'd crap it out, but it wouldn't come out all the way, so we had to pull on it.
#14
Distraught that he had not received any Christmas presents on December 25th, a young lad goes walking in the woods behinds his house only to discover the body of the beloved Santa Claus. There was one quick clean shot to the temple and the same maniacal act done to each reindeer. The child runs home to his parents and inform them of the grotesque scene. They promptly inform the police. Once they arrive and begin to collect evidence from the crime scene the child notices something taken from the scene by Police. . .It's a Red Rider BB Gun. The child recognizes this immediately as the gun his neighbor and best friend received the year prior. The very same gun in which Ralph nearly shot his own eye out. . .

How 'bout that?
#15
Quote by amyisforcynics
This one year, my cat ate Christmas tinsel.
For about a week, he'd crap it out, but it wouldn't come out all the way, so we had to pull on it.




That just has to be illegal.
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#16
Quote by R0CKER1220
Distraught that he had not received any Christmas presents on December 25th, a young lad goes walking in the woods behinds his house only to discover the body of the beloved Santa Claus. There was one quick clean shot to the temple and the same maniacal act done to each reindeer. The child runs home to his parents and inform them of the grotesque scene. They promptly inform the police. Once they arrive and begin to collect evidence from the crime scene the child notices something taken from the scene by Police. . .It's a Red Rider BB Gun. The child recognizes this immediately as the gun his neighbor and best friend received the year prior. The very same gun in which Ralph nearly shot his own eye out. . .

How 'bout that?


Getting Closer...Take that idea and give me some more christmas cliches. From there i will have my short film.
#17
Quote by Blow Me


That just has to be illegal.



It's funny until you're opening Christmas presents and kitty comes by with streamers waving out of his ass.

It makes a good story, though. That was the last year we used tinsel.
#18
I once Impaled myself with a ceramic Christmas Tree. It has little pointed "bulbs" and my leg hit it. It took a deep chunk out of my leg. I needed stitches but I just put a Band-Aid on it and let it heal. It is an awesome scar now.


EDIT: Wait, we have to make up stories? Damnit. Oh Well.
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Last edited by Ralbert07 at Dec 4, 2007,
#19
i like the gifts of fate one, lol

umm... how about a kid gets a N64 and totaly bugs out about it , but the wiggers steal and pawn it, so he goes on a lengend of zelda style quest to find it...
i.e: he goes to the pawn shop to get his n64 back, but the storown tells him he needs to get 25 dollars... he goes to his mom and asks for 25 dollars. she says he can have 25 dollars after he finds 5 red feathers, so he goes to the red feather dealer and the dealer tells the boy he can only have the feathers if he brings 5 souls of the forgotten ones... so he kills 5 emo kids. puts their souls in a aunt jumima syrup container and completes the quest bu giveing the souls, getting the feathers, giving the feathers, getting 25 dollars, getting N64... but no games or controllers, lolololol

lol maybe with the emo part, you can only kill them by useing Cannibal Corpse or something
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#21
yeah but keep in mind this thread comes from "the bluegrass bassist" who actually plays in my completely rock and not bluegrass at all band.