#1
crit4crit

KIRKWOOD

Baby, if I were Marvin Gaye
I'd sing you a soulful serenade
But my voice always seems to crack
And if I were funky like James Brown
I'd telll you that I wanna get down
But honey that just ain't my bag

I'd moonwalk through your dreams
But I've been outcasted
From every single dance scene

The innervisions of blind boys
Always make me want to employ
Every Wonder and Temptation
So I went down to Motown
But the only thing I found
Was soulless desolation

My heart lacks a rhythm
And I lost my soul
So I have to pose
As a Rolling Stone

I wanna be the Father of God
I wanna live in the Kirkwood
I wanna know how come you taste so good
#2
I think this is really great, the allusions work great in here. There's only a small thing I'd change. I think you could find a better word than "outcasted", for the small section. Other than that I can't really criticize much else, I like it!

I know I didn't really help much, but if you want check out my most recent in my sig, "The Day You Die".