#1
This was in my school paper, it may be old ,but still funny IMO.

Feudalism:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism:
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulaions say you should need.

Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism:
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell if on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Militarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

British Democracy:
You have two cows. You feed them sheep' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price, or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Pure Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism:
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

Enviromentalism:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
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Message for negotiaton.
#2
Pure Capitalism would be more like:

You have two cows. Somebody buys them from you, then buys from others and so on. When he owns all cows, he sells milk to you at outrageous prices.
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#3
I love the Capitalism one.
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#4
my favorite was government explained through a kindergarten class in 8th grade
I can't stand watching people waste their money on horrible gear.
#5
Surrealism
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#6
Quote by tallaxegrinder
my favorite was government explained through a kindergarten class in 8th grade



What?
Sig space for rent.
$100 obo
Message for negotiaton.
#8
Wow, never seen this before!

I like the British one, its highly accurate
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It's simple to sound like them, tune your guitars down a couple of steps but don't worry if it's actually IN tune or not, then just plug in and throw your guitar out the window.
#9
Cambodian Communism:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

lol.
#10
Russian communism is more like "Two cows have you. They take care of you and their milk steals all the government."
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#11
Surrealism was genious.
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#12
Quote by Ichimaru
Russian communism is more like "Two cows have you. They take care of you and their milk steals all the government."


Not that's Sob-yet Russian Reversul!
#13
Quote by Ichimaru
Russian communism is more like "Two cows have you. They take care of you and their milk steals all the government."


^ , genius
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#15
Anarcho-syndicalism:

You have two cows. Your neighbors also all have two cows. You all get together and decided what to feed the cows, when to milk them and who gets the milk.
#16
Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#19
Quote by tallaxegrinder
my favorite was government explained through a kindergarten class in 8th grade

link/post?
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If we did tune using the 5th fret on the G string it'd be a C. At the moment it goes G B which stands for George Bush. So obviously GB doesn't want you to C the truth! To the conspiracy cave!
#21
well, you forgot absolutism.
You have two cows. The government takes a lot of the milk so it can build plush palaces for the king. If you disobey the king you will go to hell.
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Dave Matthews Band. I guess they're talented, but I find that every one of their fans seems to be a big tool with a popped collar and backwards Polo hat.

YES!!!