#1
Here's a hypothetical situation anybody (interested or apathetic) can enjoy.

You're dying.
Don't ask why. I don't know how...okay, you were fatally wounded by a Lego block.

To reach whatever magical berry will save you, you must fight a guard. He's Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris rolled into one.

So, he's unarmed, but all you have to fight him are:

1: A block of swiss cheese.
2: A copy of 'Mein Kampf' by Adolf Hitler.
3: A large chocolate cake.
4: A bottle of nail polish.
or 5: Donald Trumps hairpiece.

With which item do you fight him, and how do you overcome him?
#2
Nail polish in the eye
You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#3
I'd eat the cake and hope for the best.
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#5
Feed him the cheese and pray to God that he's one of the 25% of the western world with a lactose intolerance.
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#7
Is the guard Jewish? If so, I would invade Poland, abduct him and his family and put them in a camp. That should settle him.
The jazz student
#9
drink the nail polish, inducing vomiting, grossing out the guard and scaring him away
Oh **** I gotta do vibrato
#10
Can we only pick one?

If so, hit him over the head with the book.

Really really hard so he dies.


If not, then tempt him with the swiss cheese, then push him into the large chocolate cake, whilst throwing the other items at him as hard as i can. Then I would wear the hairpiece in victory celebration
#12
The swiss cheese...maybe its like the swiss army knife, thats all i can think of...at least i go down fighting
#14
i would read mien kamf to him and hope he was converted to my side by my brilliant orratory skills.
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#15
I walk up with cake
and be like ''want some cake''
then we he is distracted
I'D KICK HIM IN THE BOLLOCKS :P
lowwwww I know but I'm dying so I've got to do whatever to get past
#16
I'd go for the nail polish.
"Hello good sir, would you be interested in a nail polish job for those sexy looking toes of yours? Completely free of charge!"

Then, when you're putting the pink polish on, when he leasts expects it...
Step on his toes and run away like a sissy girl!

This shouldn't help, but it'll be good fun.
Elle moe is elle va.
#17
Is there a right answer to this?

If so, then I pick that one.

If not, i'm not interested.
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Last edited by Your Mother : Today at 03:44 PM
#18
Id offer him the chocolate cake in order to pass.

Then when his back was turned id boot him in the balls and run away. Just for the lul factor.
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#19
hmmm this is a tough one, i would choose the block of cheese.

you may ask why?, i will tell you.

See, i like cheese very much, and to show that i do not want to fight i would offer half of the cheese to the guard, as a token of peace... if he refused, i would kick his arse with the cheese, i would do this by causing a distraction, possibly getting the cheese to dance to some 60's physcodelic melodies?. while the guard is amused by this show of skill and precision, i would sneak up behind him!

using a small bit of pointy shaped cheese i had cut off from the larger block earlier on, i would ram this down his throat, cuasing him to choke!

if this failed, i would be screwed!
#20
See, no one said you had to pick only one. I would pour the nail polish over the cake and the cheese, thereby poisoning it. I would put on Donald Trump's wig as a diquise, and offer the guard a choice between cake and cheese. He will eat one and then be poisoned, but since a bottle of nail polish is so small, i only could put on a VERY small amount, so smal of an amount that the guard didnt taste it. After he is done eating I will read the book to him until he passes out from the poison. I will then hit him repeadedly over the head till the bastard is dead.


/thread
#21
I would wear Donald Trump's toupee, and the guard, thinking I was a dying Donald Trump, would save me hoping to get a lot of money as reward.
#22
you are forgetting one thing!

the nail polish, could be non-toxic, i would suggest reading the label before attempting said plan. if the above is true, then i would poison the cheese and cake with words from hitlers book. cast a spell on them maybe?
#23
Because it's bruce Lee and Chuck rolled into one, the one person will be at combat with itself with every second it lives allowing you to simply walk past as it tries to beat itself up.

Or not.
#24
Remove all the pages from Mein Kampf, then construct an elaborate yet effective human size paper aeroplane, complete with bombs.
#25
Quote by Rory's_strat
Because it's bruce Lee and Chuck rolled into one, the one person will be at combat with itself with every second it lives allowing you to simply walk past as it tries to beat itself up.

Or not.



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#26
Quote by MentalityBand
Here's a hypothetical situation anybody (interested or apathetic) can enjoy.

You're dying.
Don't ask why. I don't know how...okay, you were fatally wounded by a Lego block.

To reach whatever magical berry will save you, you must fight a guard. He's Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris rolled into one.

So, he's unarmed, but all you have to fight him are:

1: A block of swiss cheese.
2: A copy of 'Mein Kampf' by Adolf Hitler.
3: A large chocolate cake.
4: A bottle of nail polish.
or 5: Donald Trumps hairpiece.

With which item do you fight him, and how do you overcome him?


/sucides
#28
Simple. The block of Swiss cheese is very large, and all you need to do is remember to invent a time machine after winning, so that you can go back in time and rig the block of cheese to fall on Chuck/Bruce's head before he even suspects he will have to fight you, and voila! You walk past without breaking a sweat.
#29
smash the bottle of nail polish and use it like a knife and stab him in his eyes, then i'd piss on him
#30
Quote by Yakult
Feed him the cheese and pray to God that he's one of the 25% of the western world with a lactose intolerance.



statistically speaking theres quite a good chance he is, considering he is two people rolled into one, pretty much 50/50
#31
I would hit him with the lego block which seemingly is very effective at fatally injuring people
#32
Feed him the chocolate cake and wait till he dies of cholestorol.
#33
Nail polish. Don't try fighting him at first... Act all polite.

Then... POUR THAT **** RIGHT IN HIS EYE!!!
#34
Only in The Pit.


Okey, so I would tell Chuck Lee/Bruce Norris that the secret to Donald Trump's success is in his wig, and then offer him the wig if he lets me pass.
Simple it is.
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#35
Read Mein Kampf to him and bore him to death.
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#36
I'd take the cake, yell "CAKE OR DEATH!?!" at the gaurd and hope he chooses death.
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