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#1
So i met this chick on saturday night and she wants me to come around to her house on wednesday and im pretty sure her aren't gonna be home. Now yeh, this is f*cking awesome!! However the thing is, im nervous because i've never been past 1st base, so im nervous im gonna screw something up...and she's kinda well experienced... (Not a slut :no

Any advice?
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#2
Quote by Taylz24
So i met this chick on saturday night and she wants me to come around to her house on wednesday and im pretty sure her aren't gonna be home. Now yeh, this is f*cking awesome!! However the thing is, im nervous because i've never been past 1st base, so im nervous im gonna screw something up...and she's kinda well experienced... (Not a slut :no

Any advice?



Okay so, you met her on saturday and she wants to be alone with you on wed AND she is well experianced. How is that not a slut?
Last edited by Guitarfreak777 at Dec 10, 2007,
#3
She is a slut if she is inviting you over when her parents aren't home. You just met her, don't kid yourself. Ok, for your question, you can't mess it up as long as you act like a man, don't ask questions, just do what feels right. (Shoot first and ask questions later method) She obviously wants to sleep with you, so it's really up to you, it sounds like you want it, so congrats, but wear a condom man, even if she says she is clean and is on BC...been burned. GL man.


p.s. As long as you don't act nervous you will be fine. If you don't have the confidence fake it.
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#4
just remember: the penis goes in the vagina.
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#5
Quote by tasty licks
just remember: the penis goes in the vagina.


That is only one option young one.
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#6
I was like that when me and my girlfriend were first alone like that, you will be nervous(I was sick to my stomach with nervousness) since I had only been to 1st base with her prior. Once you get into it, don't worry, you won't be nervous anymore
#8
Quote by SoulFallsVoice
She is a slut if she is inviting you over when her parents aren't home. You just met her, don't kid yourself. Ok, for your question, you can't mess it up as long as you act like a man, don't ask questions, just do what feels right. (Shoot on her face first and ask questions later method) She obviously wants to sleep with you, so it's really up to you, it sounds like you want it, so congrats, but wear a condom man, even if she says she is clean and is on BC...been burned. GL man.


p.s. As long as you don't act nervous you will be fine. If you don't have the confidence fake it.



Fixed
#9
Quote by soulflyV
GO FOR OCCULAR PENETRATION!

And don't forget protection. Always keep a knife or something in your shoe, just incase she flips out and tries to kill you.


Yeah, always carry the "who am I kidding" condom.
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Samson Q6 Mic
Balls
#10
Quote by SoulFallsVoice
That is only one option young one.


lol yeah, but let him get the basics down before you bust out moves like the bionic seahorse and whatnot.

oh and if she's a ho, and she sounds like one.... she'll probably make the first move and do most of the work.
I love my...

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#11
Quote by Negative_Creep7
I was like that when me and my girlfriend were first alone like that, you will be nervous(I was sick to my stomach with nervousness) since I had only been to 1st base with her prior. Once you get into it, don't worry, you won't be nervous anymore


thanks!

and for those who's saying she's a slut. Think about this: if she was, she woulda hooked up and probs gone further on saturday night. She's really nice and a good person =)
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#12
Quote by Taylz24
thanks!

and for those who's saying she's a slut. Think about this: if she was, she woulda hooked up and probs gone further on saturday night. She's really nice and a good person =)


#13
Bring something that prevents conception, like condoms or giant life-sized Millennium Falcons.
Quote by p o e
lmfao man thats so sick and depraved and yet funny all at once

my hats off to you IbanezSA160, you have embodied the Pit into one little poem
#14
try anal
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#15
Tell ya what,
Don't get nervous, If she gives you head and you can't get it up, blame it on her, and then brown eye her and leave
#16
Quote by IbanezSA160
Bring something that prevents conception, like condoms or giant life-sized Millennium Falcons.


I'm pretty sure the 'Falcons don't completely prevent conception, and I definitely know that it doesn't prevent STD's such as AIDS or the clap.
#18
Quote by Taylz24
thanks!

and for those who's saying she's a slut. Think about this: if she was, she woulda hooked up and probs gone further on saturday night. She's really nice and a good person =)



HAHAHHAAH your logic is so flawed. Have fun getting aids virgin boy.
#19
no biggie. just start with the arm, then a hug, then cuddling, then kissing, petting, taking off clothes, then Goal!!!!

may the player be with you.
A good friend will come bail you out of jail.....
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn.... We fucked up."
#20
Quote by cloudlife
no biggie. just start with the arm, then a hug, then cuddling, then kissing, petting, taking off clothes, then Goal!!!!

may the player be with you.


*salute*
Thank you master! I shall do as you say!
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#21
ok. it doesnt matter if she seems nice or shes a slut as long as you get what you want to wednesday right? alright. so then.... just make sure to bring protection cause from what you've said... she seems like a slut. really your examples have only added to our evidence.

so wrap it and tap it my friend. oh and yah dont worry... get to 1st base, and then just don't be afraid to start feeling for her goods with your hands... everything should fall into place from there. and don't be like "do you wanna... YOU KNOW????" no... she'll know so just be like "you wanna ****" or "you wanna have more fun" or something similar.... and if shes experienced and you start getting her to take her clothes off she'll probably know what to do from there.... oh and don't be afraid to give her some oral so you can get some.... just try and check out how it looks like before you go sticking your tongue in their... besides even your schlong.

i'd recommend either watching a movie or something... whatever else she has available... especially if she's like here we can play a game in my bedroom... thats basically automatic goal.


Again though man... WRAP UP!

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To put it crudely, every hole is a goal.


#22
Quote by Taylz24
*salute*
Thank you master! I shall do as you say!


You udnerstood that? What do you do with her arm?
#23
Quote by IbanezSA160
Bring something that prevents conception, like condoms or giant life-sized Millennium Falcons.


"My strength is my determination" - Randy Rhoads (1956-1982)

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Life is not an isolated moment, so don't live it as such.

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#25
Quote by fafinaf
jack off before you go, you might last a minute longer!


i actually prefer not too because then i may lose my drive and don't want to go anymore.


But yah if you want to last long just don't concentrate on whats happening. get into some motions and just try and mix it up but don't concentrate on what you're feeling just the motions you're doing. thats what works for me.

Quote by The Virtuoso
Yes, you sir win the internet!


Quote by saphrax
To put it crudely, every hole is a goal.


#26
She's a slut? Like that judgement even matters...She likes sex, so what?


If you want sex, bring condoms otherwise - do whatever comes naturally. If she actually does sleep around a lot, condoms are even more important (though already essential)
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#27
So they're more important than 'essential'? Wow. Tres important.

This thread is pretty funny man - let us know how it goes, right? She sounds a bit.. well, I've never had a girl ask me back to theirs as our first 'encounter' (Haha, that sounds weird..) so I'd wager she's a bit of a tart.

But either way, good luck with it. Everyone has actually given good advice! I'm proud of UG. Our doctoring and social advice skills are getting better
My name is Marc! Silly username.
#28
Quote by NemesisX
So they're more important than 'essential'? Wow. Tres important.




Well, yeah, I was jsut making sure he understood that beyond pregnancy there's more need for condoms :p
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#29
Quote by Taylz24
So i met this chick on saturday night and she wants me to come around to her house on wednesday and im pretty sure her aren't gonna be home. Now yeh, this is f*cking awesome!! However the thing is, im nervous because i've never been past 1st base, so im nervous im gonna screw something up...and she's kinda well experienced... (Not a slut :no

Any advice?



It's a TRAP!!
#30
Bring a protractor and a sharpie.

When you insert your penis into her vagina, be sure to enter her at approximately a 30 degree angle. Use the protractor to be accurate. Note: All girls are not the same, so take hints from her facial expressions. When her face assumes a position such that it looks like she just licked a sour lemon, then this means that she is uncomfortable.

Next, you have to be careful about how deep you penetrate her. Again, observe her facial expressions. When you finally pinpoint how deep she can handle, use the sharpie to mark a line on your penis and never go past it again.

Good luck.
#32
Quote by Metal claw
Bring a protractor and a sharpie.

When you insert your penis into her vagina, be sure to enter her at approximately a 30 degree angle. Use the protractor to be accurate. Note: All girls are not the same, so take hints from her facial expressions. When her face assumes a position such that it looks like she just licked a sour lemon, then this means that she is uncomfortable.

Next, you have to be careful about how deep you penetrate her. Again, observe her facial expressions. When you finally pinpoint how deep she can handle, use the sharpie to mark a line on your penis and never go past it again.

Good luck.



do u need a speedometer to measure how fast u fvck her as well?
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Last edited by musicfreak003 at Dec 10, 2007,
#33
Quote by Metal claw
Bring a protractor and a sharpie.

When you insert your penis into her vagina, be sure to enter her at approximately a 30 degree angle. Use the protractor to be accurate. Note: All girls are not the same, so take hints from her facial expressions. When her face assumes a position such that it looks like she just licked a sour lemon, then this means that she is uncomfortable.

Next, you have to be careful about how deep you penetrate her. Again, observe her facial expressions. When you finally pinpoint how deep she can handle, use the sharpie to mark a line on your penis and never go past it again.

Good luck.


Sounds like one of those japanese EROTIC SIMs to me!
#34
Quote by Metal claw
Bring a protractor and a sharpie.

When you insert your penis into her vagina, be sure to enter her at approximately a 30 degree angle. Use the protractor to be accurate. Note: All girls are not the same, so take hints from her facial expressions. When her face assumes a position such that it looks like she just licked a sour lemon, then this means that she is uncomfortable.

Next, you have to be careful about how deep you penetrate her. Again, observe her facial expressions. When you finally pinpoint how deep she can handle, use the sharpie to mark a line on your penis and never go past it again.

Good luck.


i love you metal claw

also for those saying she's a slut...im saying she had experience because she has been in 2 long term relationships...of course she is single now. But yeh, im looking foward to it
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#35
If you want to last longer during sex, you should do some speed training:

1. On the big day, keep a metronome in your back pocket (if you need to, buy a small korg one).
2. Once your 'axe is in the case', calmly place the metronome on the bedside table, remaining smooth and pimp-like.
3. Start off by thrusting very slowly at around 60-80bpm, make sure your not rushing and being sloppy, as is often the temptation.
4. Once you feel comfortable with that, increase by 10bpm.
5. Repeat this process and you'll be shredding in no time!

A finger in the ass never hurt anyone either.

UG Sex Tips
#36
Quote by J_Producer
If you want to last longer during sex, you should do some speed training:

1. On the big day, keep a metronome in your back pocket (if you need to, buy a small korg one).
2. Once your 'axe is in the case', calmly place the metronome on the bedside table, remaining smooth and pimp-like.
3. Start off by thrusting very slowly at around 60-80bpm, make sure your not rushing and being sloppy, as is often the temptation.
4. Once you feel comfortable with that, increase by 10bpm.
5. Repeat this process and you'll be shredding in no time!

A finger in the ass never hurt anyone either.

UG Sex Tips


Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#37
Quote by tasty licks
just remember: the penis goes in the vagina.


No im afraid you dont know the other places a penis can go
Eg: a mouth, a buthole, a loose hand, and through boobies.

Anyway. dont be scared sex is natural!
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
#38
You could always visit the Ultimate Sex Thread... seriously, everything a boy needs to know is in there. And another piece of advice, if she ****s you, don't be nervous, it will cause you to have premature ejac. You don't want that when dealing with a who.re.

Less than a week and she wants to **** you... tsk,tsk,tsk.

Lucky bastard, took 3 weeks for my g/f.
i*[∂/∂t]*Ψt = -[∇^2]/2*(Ψt) (unitless form)


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#39
if she wants to have sex with you, say "No bitch"...then pull out a knife, tell her to bend over and rape her
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#40
Quote by Metal claw
Bring a protractor and a sharpie.

When you insert your penis into her vagina, be sure to enter her at approximately a 30 degree angle. Use the protractor to be accurate. Note: All girls are not the same, so take hints from her facial expressions. When her face assumes a position such that it looks like she just licked a sour lemon, then this means that she is uncomfortable.

Next, you have to be careful about how deep you penetrate her. Again, observe her facial expressions. When you finally pinpoint how deep she can handle, use the sharpie to mark a line on your penis and never go past it again.

Good luck.


metal claw wins this thread.
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