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#5
a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar

one of them says "hey isn't there some joke about us lol????"


...
Quote by nebraskan
Sometimes my penis stands up so I rub it and then he gets sick from the rubbing (probably an upset tummy) and throws up ... ...
Quote by metaldud536
Im 18 and ive never had a wet dream. is that normal?
Quote by Våd Hamster
I used to think that girls only had 2 holes

^sex?
#6
i dont even understand them but the first two responses have me laughing histerically.
#7
theres ones like
what starts with an N and ends with an R that can annoy you
NeighboR
what starts with F and ends with K
FiretrucK
#8
all of those are super funny lol
but i dunno any
ill wait until my girlfriend tries making a funny
=]
#9
What do you call a joke with no punch line.

Edit: For you that are going to reply with "I don't know what?" That's the whole joke because there is no punch line........get it?
#14
What sound does a baby make when you put it in the blender?


I don't know, I was too busy fapping.
#15
why does it suck to be a Penis?

because you have a hole in your head, you have two nuts that live on each side of you, you have an asshole that lives behind you, you go inside dark caves all the time, and every time you are choked you throw up
I love all forms of Rock 'n' Roll, past and NOT present
#16
why did the tomato blush?

he saw the salad dressing
Gear:
Musicman Stingray 4 string HH
Tech 21 Sansamp Para Driver
Ampeg V-4B
Ampeg SVT-212AV 2x12

Gibson SG Standard
Vox AC15
Keeley compressor
Keeley Dark Side
Boss RC-2 Loop
Korg Pandora
Crybaby Wah
#18
Quote by hrdcorelaxplaya
What sound does a baby make when you put it in the blender?


I don't know, I was too busy fapping.


This was the terrible jokes thread, and that joke is hilarious!

Doesn't count.
#21
how do you get 1000 babies into a bag? use a blender.
How do you get them out of the bag? Tostitos.
#22
"What do you call pants?

Pants!"


My teacher said that in my class and I was the only one who laughed
--
...and the world sighed in relief
#24
Quote by gunsnrosesfan25
Post any terrible jokes that you know,i need more lolz at school


I do one at school for the corny lulz:

"Dude, tell your mom to quit texting me, she's wasting my money. Tell her I'm not raising my prices."
Get off my lawn.
#27
"Your momma is so fat, she has to eat Super Size meals because that's what fat people eat, like your momma so suck it!"

and then there's

"Your dad is so ugly, when he looks into the mirror, it dosn't break because that's how ugly he is. Yeah, it dosn't wanna break cause it's scared to cause your dad's so ugly".
#28
Quote by fenderbassist12
why did the tomato blush?

he saw the salad dressing




I almost pissed my pants laughing, and I've heard it before!

Seriously, best joke ever.
#31
A nice christmas one

Why were the christmas lights arrested? They were caught flashing
#32
yo mama so ugly, she made a train take a dirt road.

yo mama's breath so bad, she made an onion cry.

i'm not that good at telling jokes.
#33
so a guy walked into a bar and then ordered a drink........................................................then he said i think i blacked out there


he died 2 weeks later.....................................oh wait a joke sorry
The greatest irony you will face is the fact that we wake up to live in a nightmare
Quote by TOOTH&NAIL
well played sir, well played
If Canadia wasn't a real place then where would Canadians come from?


T_T
#34
Ok Here Goes

A Man goes to a church and asks the pastor is he can by the chapel bell. The Pastors says that he doesnt think that the church should sell the bell but the man disagrees. He whips out his checkbook and offers the pastor anything. After some long consideration the pastor dicides that it is not his place to sell the bell. The man pauses for a minuet and asks that pastor if he can at least go and look at the the bell. The pastor agrees and the two men go to the bell tower to look at the bell. Once they get there the man looks at the bell for a while and then procedes to bash his face into it as hard as he can. It manages to knock him out for a while but he gets back up to the pastors utter amazement. The man says that it is a good bell and bashes his face into it again. This time after a few moments the man does not revive so the pastor dicides to call the ambulance. After the man is loaded up the head Paramedic goes over to him and asks the pastor to recall the previous events. After his story the paramedic asks him if he knows the mans name.

The pastor thinks about it for a moment and replies: "I dont know his name but his face rings a bell..."

That is the best joke ever cus there is so much build up for the dumbest punchline ever.
#35
This man forgot to buy his wife a birthday present and now Christmas is coming. The mans wife tells him " since you forgot my birthday you are gonna buy me something that goes from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds". The man replies "if thats what you want".
They wake up Christmas morning and the wife asks "so wheres my present". The man says " its under the tree". The confused looking wife goes and finds the present and opens it and gets all upset, " what the hell, this is a scale".

The man says " well you wanted something that you could make go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds".


A lady is at work talking to her friend telling her how her husband isn't interested in sex anymore.
The friend says "me and my husband went through the same thing."
Lady: "well what did you do"
Friend: "i went and bought some crotchless panties, it drove my man wild, are sex life is the best its ever been".
Lady: "that maybe a good idea, i'm gonna give it a try".

So the lady goes shopping and finds a nice pair of crotchless panties. She knows exactly when her husbands gonna be home. So she gets ready, shes laying on the couch with her legs spread open just waiting. Finally her husband comes though the door and the wife says " hey big boy want some of this". Her husband replies " hell naw. If it can eat a hole through your panties i don't want nothing to do with it".
epic7734
Last edited by epic7734 at Dec 10, 2007,
#36
Quote by killadelphia222
Why is 10 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 ate 9.

(read aloud if you don't get it)

i learned that one as "why is six afraid of seven?"
#37
whats the difference between a rotten lettuce and a rod stewart song?
Ones a bad salad, the other a sad balad...
#38
What do you do when someone has an epileptic seizure while taking a bath?

- Throw in your dirty laundry and add washing powder.
#39
what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

where's my tractor?


oh wait, never mind. That one's hilarious!
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