#1
i tried a more simplistic approach to writing this one. i just needed something to flow better in a song. tell me if i should go back to my usual writing style or not, please.


Close the curtains
Close the blinds
Make my bed
And leave me behind
Fill my cup
Pat my back
It warms me up
And still I lack

My senses blurred
I slip and find
My scrumptious love
I know we'll bind
My words are short
The sweetest kind
My gorgeous love
I know you'll try

Tried to teach
Tried to show
Wrote my head
Now I'll sink low
Defiled my life's work
Broken my own rules
I sigh

All I've learned to do
Is **** up or make up
All I want to do
Is **** up some more
I love the feeling that
I get from a raindrop
To revel is to simply just
Love the downpour

Banish me
End me
Or at least
Befriend me
I've never asked
For much more
Sweetness has joined me
And I need her sorely
I'll wear them so proudly
Your thorns

Tried to teach
Tried to show
Wrote my head
Now I'll sink low
Defiled my life's work
Broken my own rules
I sigh
Tried to teach
Tried to show
Wrote my head
Now I'll sink low
Defiled my life's work
Broken my own rules
I sigh
#2
I am not familiar with these lyrics but they are very good.
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser (EMG 81/85)
Dean Dime-o-Flage (Stock)

Amplification/Effects
Boss DD-7 Digital Delay
Boss TU-2 Chromatic Stompbox Tuner
Boss NS-2 Noise Suppressor
Ibanez TS9DX Turbo Tube Screamer
Peavey 6505+ Half Stack
#3
like it. but i think the third paragraph breaks the flow by having too many syllables. no?