#1
I like to read it as if each if each word were an eigth note, the last word of each line a quarter, and gravity always as a dotted quarter or half...if that gives any idea of how its read

Pinned down so heavily
(by) gravity
stuck to the ground
I am earthbound

will I ever be free
(of) gravity
It's hard to get out of bed
when you are made of lead

weighed down so heavily
(by) gravity
what will it take
for me to break

free of gravity
someday I'll be
free of gravity

I would give anything
to grow a pair of wings
Then I could be free
(of) gravity

free of gravity
Finally I'll be
free of gravity

free of gravity

c4c and all that...nobody really "owes" me any critiques but lord knows i wouldnt mind getting some anyways
#2
aye, That's nae bad, like. Are the words in brackets backing vacals? sometimes i put words in brackets if they don't fit the melody of the song,(sylable-wise) so it's clearer what to sing where.
#3
weighed down so heavily
This second heavily I don't like, seems repetitive (in a bad way, not emphasizing the idea of the line)
(by) gravity
what will it take
for me to break

I liked it when I started out reading but I quickly got boring, the "gravity" is used way too much and gets cliche'd in the song and sounds monotonous. I do like the short lines and verses on the other hand. The the idea of each verse also doesn't change much. Yeah well, sorry but I just didn't really like it. Crit me if you like
Ferocious mumbles