#1
Alright UG.

This is a new one, and I haven't posted a song on here for fear of insane flaming, but I really like this one.

I usually write generic metalcore stuff, but this piece was inspired by both a recent creation of Tushmeister's, heard over MSN, and on a more serious note, my friend's newly diagnosed cancer.

Give it a listen and an honest opinion?
All crits returned.
Attachments:
Asd.zip
R E G G A E
#2
I think it's interesting.
Personally,
The Synth is un-hearable at the outro
I like the way the acoustic and guitar one fit together
Like the Synth break
Noticed on the build up there is a difficult/impossible chord
2
7
x
4
I'm not sure as i dont have my guitar with me but that looks awkward to play, it is also unnecassary as
2
7
are the same note.
Bass guitar?

The song doesn't seem to go anywhere imo, It sounds an intro and then multiple bridges.
Just my 2c, i think it sounds great and with a little work it could be awesome..
i dont have anything to C back but there'ya go, Nice work.
133 18 9463 8395 24 22 8358 4939
#3
The impossible chord is because it was originally:

7
x
2

but that was too much of a stretch so I made it a

2
x
x
2

but must have missed that 7.

Thanks for the crit man. Appreciate it.
I'll try and add a bass part and upload soon.
But I can't do bass parts for ****.
R E G G A E
#4
Ah, right, okay. I have just finished a song now that i can upload if you feel like critting something too
Bass lines are easy as long as you use the same scales and notes imo.

and
Alexi \m/
133 18 9463 8395 24 22 8358 4939
#5
I thought it was very interesting. The only real problem I could see was the structure. It had some awesome riffs in there, but it didn't really sound like it was going anywhere. I think it would be better if you had some repeating sections or if it kinda flowed more.

Apart from that I thought it was a great song - I really liked the synth parts, the acoustic section in the build up, and the 'epic brutality' part. I think if you work on the structure more, you'd have an awesome song there.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#6
thanks for the crit on my song

measures 24-28 sound awesome when the guitar plays that melody great job, same with 33-36

the build up just seems like a bunch of noise to me, no offense

WOW bars 95-98 sound amazing with those quick 16th notes

99-106 sound like an eerie echo, i like it

the drums are kinda rough in the sweeping synth part, dont get me wrong i love the synth sweeping

it ends kinda abruptly also

overall 8/10, lots of creativity, sick harmonies, awesome synthness, but it seems like some of the notes are tough massive jumps that would be really hard to play, see if you can play the same note on a different string to make some of the riffs easier to play.

excellent job
#7
well done! I like it alot but you could've made the acoustic ring a bit.

Well done, I like all the harmony lines but it seems its just straight leads. You need a bit more rhythm.

When the buildup came it, it tied it all together. Good job.

I'd give it a 8/10 for lack of rhythm and the dissapointing ending.

:] <3
Quote by Cobain_is_king

Seth: 1
A7X: 0
#8
Intro was good. With the drums, but it shouldn't have cut out when the electric came in. Would have been a lot better with bass. Sometimes the drums seem a bit awkward, the change was good. What i didn't like was when you canceled out an instrument when you brought another in. It seemed a bit poorly stuctured aswell.

Your leads where nice however and i think it needed a rhythm track supporting them with some bass.

7/10 for now. But definitely keep working on it.


Quote by lceman13
You have nice hair!


Last edited by Better at Jan 26, 2008,