#1
HOORAY FOR THE EMO WHINE!


I just wrote this in like, 10 minutes, could probably be better but this is moe than polished enough for me.

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A sigh from the deepest pits of my reality
My body contorts and screams with relief
Until my back is straightened again
Until I can't ****ing hear them

Over my head
Over my bed
Violence never forming
only dread
And the threat of blows hang in the air
But I cannot hate those who put it there

It seeps down into the water through the vents
The weeping contaminating the basis of security
Physiological needs can be easily overcome
by the most intense of emotion distress

WHY DONT YOU TWO **** ANYMORE!?
WHY AM I CONSTANTLY AT THE DOOR
LISTENING FOR A SNAPPING CHAIN
HOPING THAT THE BLACK HOLE EMOTION DRAIN

IS NOT REAL!!!
I HOPE ITS NOT REAL!!!
ITS NOT REAL!!!
WHY IS IT REAL!?!

The weeping seeps down through the broken love vein
Contaminating all of us who feed off of it's stream
I wish I could just block up the vents
Hoping that the emotions of agony I feel

ARENT REAL!!!
I HOPE THEYRE NOT REAL!!!
THEYRE NOT THERE!!!
WHY ARE THEY THERE!?!

WHY CANT I BURY MY HEAD IN THE WALL
EARS FILLED WITH CONCRETE BLOCKING OUT THE SOUND
ARGUMENTS ABOUND ARE ****ING WITH MY MENTALITY
EVEN IF I KILLED MYSELF THE WORLD WOULD STILL **** WITH ME

WHY AM I REAL!?!
I HOPE IM NOT REAL!!!
IM NOT REAL!!!

I'm not real...

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I hope you all hate it.

C4c and all that jazz.
#2
The rhyming in the lines "Over my head" and "Over my bed" seem a little forced... On a positive note though, I loved some of the imagery, especially "The weeping seeps down through the broken love vein". It is witty and powerful, while managing to be perfectly clear. Generally this seems like a pretty solid song, especially if you only took 10 minutes to do it, nicely done