#1
Lost Love
By Marco Mendiola, Edited By ___________________
Genre Rock, Alternative

Every morning I wake up, seeing her in your spot, I try an imagine you in her place. But it brings the pain, and every day becomes a little harder. These silent tears of mine, flowing from my eyes like a river, to filling this endless pool of sadness that grows each day, torturing my soul.

As I lay in bed, I wonder how and why, I lost you to another, your friends tell me to leave you alone, that you found your love, but what about me I say, she was my love, how could he take her away from me.

It brings the pain to see her, everyday and not able to tell her how much I love her and want her. To her I’m a ghost empty all the way through.

On valentines day. It hurts the most, seeing her kissing, and loving, like she used to do to me. This lost love of mine is going to drive me insane. Know im wondering if she’s still thinking about me, am I her lost love or one of her mistakes, leavening me or keeping me the way she did.

Why is love that is lost the hardest to forget.

Comments:
Yeah I just felt like writeing one more before I went to bed, took me half hour to get just this and it needs a lot of work, but im in no hurry, I think its okay for being a first write and not editing it yet. But that’s why im working on it ill juts keep twicking it till I get something new and better.
#2
your piece would work a lot better with more line breaks where appropriate. having everything the way you've layed it out takes away some of the emotional impact.

moving on to the actual content; a lot of the lines are generic, use more metaphors and be more imaginative. it's not bad but could be extremely improved.
same applies for this one.
"i'd give my soul to be where i was a year ago... if i had a soul left to give"