#1
Hey I'm pretty much a newbie song writer so any criticism is very much welcome and extremely appreciated. I will defintely take a look at anyone who comments work. Thanks.

As we stare into the sky
Another solider will die
How many more will fall
Before there is a call

People stand up
Its time to fight
People stand up
Its time to fight

They say its terrorism
Just to cover their facism
The government is full of ****
When will we say this is it

People stand up
Its time to fight
People stand up
Its time to fight

The world is coming to an end
We’re all alone to fend
Not one person cares
No one even dares

People stand up
Its time to fight
People stand up
Its time to fight
#2
solid lyrics, i would say. but it's like...just another anti-government song, yaknow

come up with bits that haven't been said yet and add it in
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Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

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#3
i liked the irony of the refrain, but other than that it was pretty standard. i hate to use a word like cliche, but i mean. you must know this is nothing innovative.

i can't really say anything syntactically. rhythmically, however, the line "they say it's terrorism/just to cover their facism" doesn't flow. i would say something like "they say it's terrorism/disguising their facism". the lines after that, as well. i would change the fourth line.

of course this is just one opinion. yada yada yada. i don't know how this sounds in song form, so my suggestions might mean shit.


i've got a poem floating around on the first page. "tastes", if you want to check it out.