#1
Hey guys, love to hear some criticism on what I should/could/must change! thanks a bunch, this is my first shot at writing lyrics

Verse One

I let you in, now I cut you out,
My heart is bleeding, but it’s better without

As you leave and fade, go and fade away,
Happy with your life, I’m the one that pays

I bleed some more, Its your normal day
You twist the knife, and I feel the pain

He walks in your door, I’m alone again
You’re ****ing on the floor, You’re ****ing with my brain

Chorus
And I can’t take this,
No I can’t take this,
It’s coming again,

You push me away, I need you so close,
I hate you I need you, need you the most

My life is exploding, but I’m already dead,
I hate you I need you, Get out of my head

Verse 2

I feel the cold, steel of the blade,
It’s freezing my hand, It reminds me of my hate,

I feel the cold, Water dripping off my face,
Remember us here once, Remember your taste,

Walking up the stairs, I know this place,
It could have been fun once, It’s now very grey

I throw the door open, See the look on your face,
You look back at mine, I know its filled with hate

Bridge
I’m here to take you, the blade is in my hand
You threw it all away, We’d made all our plans
Now you’ll regret it, Now you’re gonna pay


Solo

Chorus

And I wouldn’t take this,
No I didn’t take this; I don’t need you any more

You pushed me away, I needed you close,
Now that I’ve done this, I hate me the most

My life has exploded, I’m definitely dead,
I hate you I need you, you’re still in my head
(you’re still in my head: scream)


End


So what do you guys think? Thanks in advance!
#2
Great piece dude, but read the rules!!!


*reported*


Sorry I hate to close such an amazing masterpiece but I wouldn't be doing my duty if I didn't....

Sorry mate, I really liked it though


Cheers,

Dan
BECOME A FAN!

DISCO IS DEAD!

Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!