#1
This is one of my band's songs that i wrote last week
Edit:Written for a fast punk/hard rock band

There he sits in silence
the words never come
a lack of self esteem
leaves him too unconfident

stares out into reality
a place that we call home
time wants to hit him when
he leasts expects it to

it's twelve am monday night
and he's dreaming
dreaming of a place
so far, far away

-
welcome to the nightmare of
everyone who's anyone
waiting for that something
but the day just never comes.
-

Go!
Take it away!
Push it away!
Throw it away!

another day and it's
falling out of you
not a second to waste
in this cold, hard life

you tell your story and
you hope it gets you through
put it through the hearts
of all the people that you knew

-
welcome to the nightmare of
everyone who's anyone
waiting for that something
but the day just never comes.

let it out within you
show them how it's done
get up now and jump
you're the only one!
-

Go!
Take it away!
Push it away!
Throw it away!
Last edited by Rory's_strat at Jan 28, 2008,
#3
i think it's good but here's a suggestions...use more imagery in the lyrics...instead of just saying whats on your mind, show us something we can picture and from the image we can understand the point. for example instead of saying he sits alone, say he sits in the chair, dark, only a candle lit as he stares out the window at the blackness of night.....yada yada yada......anyway if that makes any sense i think it's a good tip. someone explained that to me and i think it makes my writing better