#1
This is a song I'm working on. Tell me what you think.

Verse:
It's nice to have a place to sleep
Away from the cold hard streets
Soft Pillows, warm bed sheets
Shure beats cardboard on concrete
We take so much for granted
Everything we own
While there's people out there
Who can't afford a home

Chorus:
Got no money, got no home
The cold dark street is where you roam
Got no family to care for you
Got no friends to see you through

Crit 4 Crit
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
Negative stuff: Rhyming almost every line together gets a little boring after a while. When I read the first four lines, I wasn't sure if you were joking or not, I think it's the fourth line that did it. Try a different rhyme scheme.
Good stuff: Flowed well, only spot that was a little bit off was 'Got no family to care for you'. Good topic for a song.

Don't you don't take the bad stuff as insulting or anything and I hope that this helped you. If you feel like it, crit mine, Dashed Hopes, Devastation? Link below
#3
I liked everything except the chorus. Chorus on this song is going to have to be different from the rest of the song. This song has the ability to capture, but only if you have a great chorus. I am not saying this is a great chorus. I am just trying to get you to think.

As we dream,
People starve unseen,
As we contemplate our future
The young and old depart the scene,
And we just carry on...in a dream