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#1
every once in awhile, i'll read a review so bad and so out of touch with music that i just have to laugh

the foot in the mouth review, an abysmal review for a work that later goes multiplatinum as comes to revamp an entire genre.

Take this title and opening sentence of a review of Zep's "Song remains the same"

-Film wise, its Dead Zeppelin.
"The Song Remains the same is a hopelessly pretentious piece of trash featuring the British rock group, "the led zeppelin" in what is laughably called a performance" and later states " this film will be tolerate only by tone-deaf teenagers" 0 of 5 stars


the second is the one by the hopelessly out of touch critic giving a glowing review to an abysmal album. Usually when they make they make the classic rock guy review metal or punk albums.

Rolling Stone's review of Metallica's Load
"If heavy-metal fans are supposed to be such hardcore loyalists, what is it about a few haircuts, some eyeliner and a little songcraft that throws 'em into such a dither? Load – Metallica's very long (78 minutes and 59 seconds on the nose) goodbye to the moldy stricture and dead-end Puritanism of no-frills thrash – is easily the heaviest record of the year" 4 of 5 stars
-this also applies to their reviews of reload, S&m, st. anger(which also got 4 stars and said this "already feels like a piece of metallica history" and actually praised Lar's drum sound.


so anyone got anything else.
#2
Haha! That's Rolling Stone for you.

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#3
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
every once in awhile, i'll read a review so bad and so out of touch with music that i just have to laugh

the foot in the mouth review, an abysmal review for a work that later goes multiplatinum as comes to revamp an entire genre.

Take this title and opening sentence of a review of Zep's "Song remains the same"

-Film wise, its Dead Zeppelin.
"The Song Remains the same is a hopelessly pretentious piece of trash featuring the British rock group, "the led zeppelin" in what is laughably called a performance" and later states " this film will be tolerate only by tone-deaf teenagers" 0 of 5 stars


the second is the one by the hopelessly out of touch critic giving a glowing review to an abysmal album. Usually when they make they make the classic rock guy review metal or punk albums.

Rolling Stone's review of Metallica's Load
"If heavy-metal fans are supposed to be such hardcore loyalists, what is it about a few haircuts, some eyeliner and a little songcraft that throws 'em into such a dither? Load – Metallica's very long (78 minutes and 59 seconds on the nose) goodbye to the moldy stricture and dead-end Puritanism of no-frills thrash – is easily the heaviest record of the year" 4 of 5 stars
-this also applies to their reviews of reload, S&m, st. anger(which also got 4 stars and said this "already feels like a piece of metallica history" and actually praised Lar's drum sound.


so anyone got anything else.


You know what?

People, believe it or not, have different tastes, and different opinions on things. Learn to deal with it.
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#5
I hate the rolling stone. And the song remains the same is one of the best music DVDs you can buy, but i'm a huge Led head so its my opinion which is biased
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#6
Quote by Doodleface
You know what?

People, believe it or not, have different tastes, and different opinions on things. Learn to deal with it.


but you do realize that the song remains the same went gold when they released it on dvd 25 YEARS LATER.
#7
Those reviews aren't as bad as ones that praise some of the ****tiest bands you've ever heard. I think I agree with the one for TSRTS; it was incredibly pretentious and barely in tune.
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#8
Quote by Doodleface


People, believe it or not, have different tastes, and different opinions on things. Learn to deal with it.



yeah, but metallica is no 4/5 star band. Especially St. Anger
#9
Quote by tands
i know rolling stone gave Nevermind a bad review at first and went back and changed after it sold like 10 million copies


yeah nevermind got 3 of 5 and the review said "they aren't onto anything alltogether new" i don't like nirvana at all, but i will give credit where its due: they did define the sound of music in the early 90's.

the one on their site is 5 of 5 now.
#10
This one is the best one ever in a god awful sort of way
http://www99.epinions.com/content_173461507716
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#12
rollingstone recently gave kid rocks new album 4/5 stars and like a page later gave some amazing band (which i cant recall) 3 stars. What the ****.
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#13
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shark sandwich review:shit sandwich

"Well that's nitpicking, innit?"
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myabe we all suck thats why were sitting at a computer desk talking **** thro the enternet lol


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#14
^the are swimming in a pool or poor humor and retarded sexuality.

this album begs the question "What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't head have rested on that day too?"
Last edited by DaveGilmour1189 at Jan 29, 2008,
#15
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
^the are swimming in a pool or poor humor and retarded sexuality.


...What?
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#17
Heaven forbid that anyone should think of Load, Reload and S&M as anything more than "abysmal".

Stupid thread.
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#18
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
^the are swimming in a pool or poor humor and retarded sexuality.

this album begs the question "What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't head have rested on that day too?"

I liked that more than **** Sandwich.
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I may not be cool off the internet, but on the internet I am pretty cool.

Aww

The Pit Cliff Notes:
Quote by SOADfreak6
myabe we all suck thats why were sitting at a computer desk talking **** thro the enternet lol


If not all of us, at least him.

<//////>~
#19
Quote by Mad Marius
Heaven forbid that anyone should think of Load, Reload and S&M as anything more than "abysmal".

Stupid thread.


fine i didn't mean to pass judgement on the album its just that this sentence:

"If heavy-metal fans are supposed to be such hardcore loyalists, what is it about a few haircuts, some eyeliner and a little songcraft that throws 'em into such a dither? Load – Metallica's very long (78 minutes and 59 seconds on the nose) goodbye to the moldy stricture and dead-end Puritanism of no-frills thrash – is easily the heaviest record of the year"

seems like the most out of touch, offensive thing you could write about old-school Metallica fans.
#20
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
but you do realize that the song remains the same went gold when they released it on dvd 25 YEARS LATER.



.....So?

Led Zeppelin is one of the most recognized and most well known bands in the world. Of course they're going to sell well.

Jimmy Page was/is sloppy as hell on occasion, and the entire live album could be that sloppy, and people would still buy it in droves, because classic rock fans and/or elitists rarely care if the live show was GOOD, they only care about the band on the front.
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#21
Quote by tands
i know rolling stone gave Nevermind a bad review at first and went back and changed after it sold like 10 million copies

It gave it a bad review? What the ****, that album is a masterpeice!
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#22
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
the review to Intravenus de Milo by spinal tap

I think that was The Gospel According to Spinal Tap.
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Quote by SOADfreak6
myabe we all suck thats why were sitting at a computer desk talking **** thro the enternet lol


If not all of us, at least him.

<//////>~
#23
^ in fairness i skipped the middle of the article, which goes into piece by piece in detail for each member of the band about how tone deaf and untalented each is at their instruments.

and this review was actually in the Song Remains the Same box set as **** you to the writer 30 years later.
#24
Not a CD review, but some magazine placed Neil Peart at number two of a "Worst Lyricist" list...I couldn't believe it.
all the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players
#25
Quote by crazynickman
I think that was The Gospel According to Spinal Tap.



nah, the what day did god create spinal tap was for the gospel according to spinal tap.
#26
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
nah, the what day did god create spinal tap was for the gospel according to spinal tap.

That's what I meant...
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I may not be cool off the internet, but on the internet I am pretty cool.

Aww

The Pit Cliff Notes:
Quote by SOADfreak6
myabe we all suck thats why were sitting at a computer desk talking **** thro the enternet lol


If not all of us, at least him.

<//////>~
#27
Quote by crazynickman
That's what I meant...


oh i thought you meant the first quote. the one about retard sexuality is from the intravenus de Milo album
#28
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
fine i didn't mean to pass judgement on the album its just that this sentence:

"If heavy-metal fans are supposed to be such hardcore loyalists, what is it about a few haircuts, some eyeliner and a little songcraft that throws 'em into such a dither? Load – Metallica's very long (78 minutes and 59 seconds on the nose) goodbye to the moldy stricture and dead-end Puritanism of no-frills thrash – is easily the heaviest record of the year"

seems like the most out of touch, offensive thing you could write about old-school Metallica fans.



Alright, I get it. The point is not what they're reviewing or what their opinion of it is, but how they express that opinion. Like in this case, they could say it in a douchebaggy manner, using pretentious terms like "moldy stricture" and "puritanism, oh where's my caviar", and insinuating that older Metallica songs are "no-frills thrash", which is liable to get anyone a good beating.

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#29
this one review on Ghost Reveries by Opeth, the guy bitched about everything, even how the CD was coal black. Whiny bitch
#30
Some website gave a really bad review to John Butler Trio's album Grand National. I thought it was great.
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#31
Quote by fexnah
Not a CD review, but some magazine placed Neil Peart at number two of a "Worst Lyricist" list...I couldn't believe it.


Who was #1?
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#32
Quote by Mad Marius
Alright, I get it. The point is not what they're reviewing or what their opinion of it is, but how they express that opinion. Like in this case, they could say it in a douchebaggy manner, using pretentious terms like "moldy stricture" and "puritanism, oh where's my caviar", and insinuating that older Metallica songs are "no-frills thrash", which is liable to get anyone a good beating.



no problem

i actually found a review online for Pantera's Cowboys from Hell. Now its pretty well know that Pantera was kinda.....glam in their early days



it was blasting their new album as crappy and asking for them to make the glam metal from their "power metal" days. I personally celebrate all eras of Pantera, but i just found it odd...
#33
Quote by guitarmansmitty
Who was #1?

Sting...
all the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players
#34
I personally am not very fond of The Song Remains the Same. From what I heard of it before it finished losing my attention and making me want to listen to something that made proper use of dissonance, there was just one song and 10 or 15 minutes of them screwing around playing whatever, and every time they started to do something that was cool, they would switch to something that just sounded scattered and, quite frankly, like garbage.
I love Led Zeppelin, but let's face it, they can't all be zingers.

Anyways, that being said, I did read one review that made me wonder, "What is this guy smoking?". It was a review for Gojira's From Mars to Sirius cd. The guy basically tore it apart and called all the songs cheaply done rip-offs of Cave In and Mastodon. He said it was trash and that it was not even worth listening to. Now, being a huge Gojira fan myself, I must say that From Mars to Sirius isn't their most interesting or dynamic work, but I'd hardly call it a cheap rip-off of something else, and whether or not you do see similarities between their sound and the sounds of other bands, it's still a listenable cd. It certainly deserves better than the 1 out of 5 that guy gave it. At its worst, it still manages to be average, but at its best, it really has some moments where it shines.
#35
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
every once in awhile, i'll read a review so bad and so out of touch with music that i just have to laugh

the foot in the mouth review, an abysmal review for a work that later goes multiplatinum as comes to revamp an entire genre.

Take this title and opening sentence of a review of Zep's "Song remains the same"

-Film wise, its Dead Zeppelin.
"The Song Remains the same is a hopelessly pretentious piece of trash featuring the British rock group, "the led zeppelin" in what is laughably called a performance" and later states " this film will be tolerate only by tone-deaf teenagers" 0 of 5 stars


the second is the one by the hopelessly out of touch critic giving a glowing review to an abysmal album. Usually when they make they make the classic rock guy review metal or punk albums.

Rolling Stone's review of Metallica's Load
"If heavy-metal fans are supposed to be such hardcore loyalists, what is it about a few haircuts, some eyeliner and a little songcraft that throws 'em into such a dither? Load – Metallica's very long (78 minutes and 59 seconds on the nose) goodbye to the moldy stricture and dead-end Puritanism of no-frills thrash – is easily the heaviest record of the year" 4 of 5 stars
-this also applies to their reviews of reload, S&m, st. anger(which also got 4 stars and said this "already feels like a piece of metallica history" and actually praised Lar's drum sound.


so anyone got anything else.

you do realise that Led Zeppelin never got good reviews from the press.

and i happen to think Load, Re-Load and S&M are fantastic albums
st. Anger was a bit crap though
#38
The song remains the same is VERY boring.

I've bought it and I still don't know why.
I don't remember where I was,
When I realized life was a game.
The more seriously I took things,
The harder the rules became.
#39
This review on The Mars Volta...clearly someone with too much time that critisizes other peoples art claiming he understands it. Personally I don't think he understands TMV's music. In fact I think that not being able to understand a band is the reason someone doesn't like that band in the first place. Anyway here it is...
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/your-band-sucks/the-mars-volta.php
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#40
Quote by Bowe
you do realise that Led Zeppelin never got good reviews from the press.

and i happen to think Load, Re-Load and S&M are fantastic albums
st. Anger was a bit crap though



yeah i know.

and as i said before, i don't really want to pass judgment on the album its just that sentence is so out offensive to anyone who liked thrash metal in the 80's.
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