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What do you think would be the most awkward or weird things you could say to your dates Father while waiting for your date?
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"so, what do you do?...i work at a chloroform factory"

Member #14 of the "Claudio Sanchez is god" Club.

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"You know everything you've ever feared your daughter doing with a guy? Yeah, we've done ALL of them."
"Where the **** is that bitch!? Women!"

"Your daughter is like a feline in the sack"
"Does she inherit the tightness from you?"
Originally Posted by Kensai
Thx keine_lust, I probably would've missed the chili's if it wasn't for you

SCARECROW of UG's Gotham City
-Walks into Pharmacy-

"Yes condoms please"

-On date-

You'r date: Gosh ____ Never knew you were so nice
You: Never knew you'r dad was a pharmacist.

"hey you got any condoms? I completely forgot to bring some"
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"yep shes got a great rack"
Quote by cliff_em_all
cof_median11 is a Child Rapist.

Quote by blink day 4 eva
Theres a mosquito that lives in my room and i let him bite me all the time and i let him live. It's our special deal. His name is "The Dude".

Quote by Babbs
cof_median11, you sick ****.
im invited to my girl friends dads surprise b-day party this saturday, i plan on telling him his present will be here in about 9 months.... if you know what im saying
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SoLgEr is the ****ing man!!!!!
"dont worry sir, we ensure we always have protected sex, although sometimes its not always enough for her when i start smashing the **** out of her face"
so does the misses like being sodomized? I'm just curious if it runs in the family.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
so he/she does this awesome thing with his/her tongue....
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
ohh, and i'll call you to pick her up if I find someone better while we're out.

that was used on my friend by his dad but in a different format.
Quote by the.spine.surfs

But really, asking the pit for relationship advice is like asking a girl with braces for a blowjob. Ouch.

Quote by Lil Macker
i first masterbated when i was... 10, i think
or was it 9...
yeah 10
and i'm catholic, don't tell the pope, i'll be holy watered
What did your wife eat when she was pregnant with your daughter? I just want to know why your daughter tastes so good.
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Quote by Habit Zero
Howdy grampa.

this one was so simple, yet it had so much meaning hahahaha
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haha, I got a story for you that is related to this. My friend likes to drink occasionally and he went to pick up this girl for the first time and her parents where out side talking to the girl and wanted to meet him. so he steps out of his truck and an empty beer can falls to the ground and he quickly picks it up and throws it in the back. her dad says "Have you been drinking and driving?" and my friend jokingly says "Of course not, I drank, then drove."

Ofcourse her parents didn't find that funny at all.
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.

"So then ____, how did you meet my daughter?"

"Well, we were both at this party, and she was absolutely f*cked off her face after the rohypnol I put in her dri...I"

(toshiro umezewa's post was the best though, sigged it already )
Last edited by last_biscuit at Jan 29, 2008,
Quote by Bart-kun
"Wow! She calls you daddy too?"

Edit: "Hey dad, I've got this really hot date"

...Think about it.
Quote by Bart-kun
"Wow! She calls you daddy too?"

Quote by toshiro umezewa
"Millions of my potential children died on your daughters face last night"

According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
dont worry sir, il take good care of your daughter, ive got a few kids of my own you know.
Quote by Karl Sanders
its like a four finger, diminished thingy
Is your daughter good in bed?
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Quote by DZCunuck
"hey you got any condoms? I completely forgot to bring some"

Exactly what I was going to say.
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you cant make a male musician choose music or sex, its like asking a fat man twinkie or brownie

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Quote by metdethslaythrx
it's "I moan" backwards
No, it's I maon.


I WILL one day rule the world, Pm me with the position you want and Ill see if it is open.
Quote by musicianamedave
I have licked your daughter's nipples.

ones like this aren't funny cause they're too straightforward.
Quote by Jackintehbox
Pedophilia all the way man. Go for it.

Quote by deathbat831
hahaha i thought you wrote Philidelphia all the way, i was like yeah philidelphias cool i spose

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
I'm always too embarrassed to buy condoms. Saran wrap is cheaper, anyway.