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#1
I dont believe this belongs in the sex thread.
This is going to be about BAD sexual experiences you have had...

I mean...the worse of the worse.
Walk-ins
Smelly as hell
stds
crabs

I wanna hear some horror stories!

So come on UG, lets hear it.


*EDIT*- Please leave your morals and religions at the door.
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Last edited by XXm3t@lXX at Jan 30, 2008,
#3
Well some guy I hooked up with one summer proved incapable of getting me off.
Needless to say, we didn't get to sex.
♥xx♥

#4
[quote=""[It's Alex"]"]Well some guy I hooked up with one summer proved incapable of getting me off.
Needless to say, we didn't get to sex.

#5
Hot monkey sex
"Even though I've found God, I still love blow jobs, and I still say fuck." - Dave Mustaine

You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
#6
ok mine isn't so bad but here goes
there was this girl that i was sleeping with in the summer
and it was one of those sex everynight relationships so it was fun to say the least
but one day i thought i would eat her out
seems like a good idea right, but to my surprise when i got down there
there was another fellow waiting to greet me!!!!
how he got there in my bed with us without us knowing will always escape me.

seriously though she smelt like a sewer below the bellybutton i never made it all the way down YUCK
#8
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


Well, it sounds like you f*cked a cow, but I'm hoping that it's something else...
#11
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


I found what bovine means
This is so private, I am not going to tell it..


BUT DUDE!!


#12
ummm.. period sex is messy, ummm.. got walked in on by her mom more than once,

once were down at the park goin a it, after we finished i tossed the condom out of the window and proceeded to my pants on and she left hers off well we're layin there and i look at the window and nonchalantly just said "oh hey theres a cop" then immediately was like.. "oh ****" but all he did was make us leave because we were both 18 at the time..

not so bad, but once we were out at dusk on the pontoon. well we were goin at it and i thought it would be funny to pick her up while still in her walk to the edge of the boat and throw her in.. well, didnt work out as planned and i fell in while still f*uckin her.. both had a good laugh about it but didnt get any after that for a while.
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hahaha "sexism the ultimate humour" a6l6e6x, 2008

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#13
so i was doin this deaf chick, right?

and i asked her if she liked it.

she didnt answer

what the f*ck?
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#14
One time I couldn't cum. That was the worst sex for me. She enjoyed it tho. she came and was ready to get off (she was on top) and I was like, ehhhhhhh, what about me? so we went on for ages but I couldn't cum. That was lame.
#15
Quote by NielsWho
I found what bovine means
This is so private, I am not going to tell it..


BUT DUDE!!


anyone who didn't know that bovine = cow/cattle needs to do some more book learnin!
#16
Quote by freedoms_stain
anyone who didn't know that bovine = cow/cattle needs to do some more book learnin!



Anyone that is English you mean? In my English class we learn to write essays, not the impacts of the economy on the cattle industry


#19
Quote by freedoms_stain
One time I couldn't cum. That was the worst sex for me. She enjoyed it tho. she came and was ready to get off (she was on top) and I was like, ehhhhhhh, what about me? so we went on for ages but I couldn't cum. That was lame.

That usually is quite an awkward point.
My ex was a proper mood killer... 'are you finished yet?' 'close to finishing yet?' ect.

I'd say when I fell asleep when she was in the mood for it.
She gave me a right old slap to wake me up, then the bitch went to sleep herself.
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they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

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#20
Quote by NielsWho
Anyone that is English you mean? In my English class we learn to write essays, not the impacts of the economy on the cattle industry


It's not an english word, It's a class of animal, Bovinae, and is derived from a latin word.
#22
Quote by Kingyem0c0re
That usually is quite an awkward point.
My ex was a proper mood killer... 'are you finished yet?' 'close to finishing yet?' ect.

I'd say when I fell asleep when she was in the mood for it.
She gave me a right old slap to wake me up, then the bitch went to sleep herself.


I had another 'hard to come' time, except that time I whipped it out, took the condom off and came on her stomach.

She was not happy. Cus there was LOADS!
#23
I was getting a blowjob, finished it, it was great, everythings was going fine until she decided to put lil Phill away and got it caught in the zipper. It was only a slight nick but it took ages to heal and kept getting ripped open slightly now and then.


I had to find a special soap that wouldn't burn in the shower
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And you're obviously here because you fancy Phill.
Phill is a very attractive guy...

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#25
Quote by Våd Hamster
First time my ex gave me a blowjob....

Teeth >_<



That's pretty damn hazardous. It's either teeth or you won't feel a thing. I guess that takes practice to pull off properly.
#26
Ouch.....
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#27
Quote by Våd Hamster
First time my ex gave me a blowjob....

Teeth >_<


argh the teeth thing is the worst, if I feel teeth I let them know teeth = bad
#28
Well she got the hang of it after some time

Also, first time we tried anal was troublesome too
#29
Quote by StraightxXxEdge
Oh, the French.



What?

It's not like it was with consent or anything.
#31
Quote by JilaX^
This one time I was having sex....

AND I FORGOT TO WRAP MY SEARCH BAR


That's usually always as awkward!
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#33
Quote by JilaX^
This one time I was having sex....

AND I FORGOT TO WRAP MY SEARCH BAR



Oh, shit!
#34
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.



Im sigging that
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


I loves bagels!

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#36
When I was 17 years old, we visited NYC with the Senior year in High School. I had relations with 3 diffrent girls, and none wanted to do it with a condom. So, when I got back home, I went through the STDs test... OMG, it was awful.

(I was clean BTW :p)
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#38
Quote by freedoms_stain
It's not an english word, It's a class of animal, Bovinae, and is derived from a latin word.

Dutch isn't a romance language, nor is it as heavily influenced by latin and romance languages as english. so it's not surprising that bovine wouldn't have a similar sounding word in dutch. and bovine isn't in such common usage as it would have to be for it to be shocking that somone for whom english is not a first language doesn't know the word.
*
#39
Quote by nOtReGiStErEd
Dutch isn't a romance language, nor is it as heavily influenced by latin and romance languages as english. so it's not surprising that bovine wouldn't have a similar sounding word in dutch. and bovine isn't in such common usage as it would have to be for it to be shocking that somone for whom english is not a first language doesn't know the word.





...


#40
Quote by nOtReGiStErEd
Dutch isn't a romance language, nor is it as heavily influenced by latin and romance languages as english. so it's not surprising that bovine wouldn't have a similar sounding word in dutch. and bovine isn't in such common usage as it would have to be for it to be shocking that somone for whom english is not a first language doesn't know the word.


Erm, I can't seem to find the link to your post and the post from the one you quoted?

Also, there is no such word in dutch that sounds like "bovine".
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