#1
So I've found myself in this situation where I found out that the girl I was with for about 3 years lost her virginity to my best friend.

We weren't together at the time, we had broken up (around the 2 year mark) and were so for about a month. But we got back together and she didn't tell me.

I found out one night while hanging out with a few friends.

Apparently, all my friends knew. They had known for about 8 months. But nobody told me.

And it bothers me.

This is my question, if you fell in love with a girl and she slept with your best friend would you want to be told? (Now this is the case where you two are no longer together, and this was sort of in the past).

Secondly, if you knew about your good friend's girl sleeping with his best friend, and you knew it'd break his heart, would you tell him?

I feel more betrayed by my friends for not telling me than anything else.

I'm not upset (anymore), it's over and done with, but I'm still uneasy about it I guess. Looking for some perspective.
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#2
I'd want to know, and some best friend you got there.

Speaking of which, my ex cheated on me with some guy, and told me that she'd never see him again whether or not we broke up over it (I never suggested this, that was her speaking). We break up like 3 weeks later and the next week I find out she's been hanging out with him since she told me that. That felt like betrayal there, so I know how you feel.
#3
It's not your business if you two weren't together. She could have slept with your dad. You two had nothing between you two, so anyone was fair game.

As for the second part, if I knew that telling you would break your heart, and I didn't think that you should know (because it's not your business), then no, I wouldn't have said anything. If you two were together when something like that happened, though, then yes, of course I would.
#5
shes a ***** and hes a dick
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#7
Yes to both questions


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#8
Things are better now of course, and him and I stopped talking about 2 years ago.

My problem was that I'm an old-fashioned lover, and I feel strongly that I should be the only one. She knows that something like that would be a major deal-breaker for me, and she didn't tell me.

I almost left this wonderful girl I'm seeing right now to go back to her. Silly silly me.
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#9
i think if they woulda told you when u got back together it woulda worked out better
#10
Quote by JuicyMango
You two had nothing between you two, so anyone was fair game.



i wouldnt say that judging from the fact that they were only apart for about a month. obviously there was something between them if they got back together, and have stayed together for a while.

but yeah, i would want to know. honestly, if it was me, i dont think i would have gotten back together with her if i had know before we got back together. if i found out after we were back together i dont know what i would do. i would really have to think about it.
#11
Man you seem to have a lot of girl troubles.
I'm with your thinking on this one.

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#13
Yes and no.

No because I shouldn't have to be the one to tell him. If it was me who did it, well, time to man up and say your bit. But if a friends best friend did it, he should do the right thing and be enough of a FRIEND to tell him.

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#14
Quote by daytripper75
i wouldnt say that judging from the fact that they were only apart for about a month. obviously there was something between them if they got back together, and have stayed together for a while.

but yeah, i would want to know. honestly, if it was me, i dont think i would have gotten back together with her if i had know before we got back together. if i found out after we were back together i dont know what i would do. i would really have to think about it.

If your parents divorce, is the wife not allowed to have sex with any of your dad's friends? Are your friends forbidden from seeing her? No. What you two had is over and done with, and you have no claims to her.

However, the circumstances of the breakup weren't elaborated on. If she broke up with him, then I'd follow the Man Laws and do the "abstain from sex with her for at least six months" or whatever. That's just common courtesy.
#15
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#16
Well really he was fair game, but still a dick move by your friend so soon after your breakup. I also think that she probably should've told you, but I guess that was up to her.
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#17
It doesn't really matter, you weren't with her should she had every right to do what she wanted, but your friends should you know a lot sooner
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#18
man that stuff isnt cool i was in a similiar situation. Just be a bigger man and let it go. Hes not a real friend so screw him.
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#19
Quote by JuicyMango


However, the circumstances of the breakup weren't elaborated on. If she broke up with him, then I'd follow the Man Laws and do the "abstain from sex with her for at least six months" or whatever. That's just common courtesy.


my point was that they got back together in a month, which means they still both had pretty strong feeling for each other, especially considering they are still together now. to me that means she probably shouldnt have gone and had sex with one of his friends within a month of breaking up.
#20
Quote by Sooopo
my ex cheated on me with some guy, and told me that she'd never see him again whether or not we broke up over it (I never suggested this, that was her speaking). We break up like 3 weeks later and the next week I find out she's been hanging out with him since she told me that. That felt like betrayal there, so I know how you feel.


I hate that with all my might. Both of my serious relationships ended that way. it's really made my trust in women soar.


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#21
So ur with a chick for 2 years and she doesn't put out, then ur mate is with her for a short period of time and he gets in.....there is something wrong with that chick
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#22
Quote by daytripper75
my point was that they got back together in a month, which means they still both had pretty strong feeling for each other, especially considering they are still together now. to me that means she probably shouldnt have gone and had sex with one of his friends within a month of breaking up.

It doesn't at all mean that she still had feelings for him. People get together with others for convenience all the time. Or for fun. And just the very fact that she DID go and **** his best friend "behind his back" would, to me, imply that she didn't still have any strong feelings for the TS.

Either way, it doesn't matter what connection they had. It was severed when they broke up. There is no longer any "them." There's just a "him" and a "her." They're separate.
#23
Quote by Chadicus
So ur with a chick for 2 years and she doesn't put out, then ur mate is with her for a short period of time and he gets in.....there is something wrong with that chick


That would actually piss me off the most. I don't care if she did it with my brother, I should be entitled to be the one for her to lose her virginity to...especially after two years.
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Last edited by thrashfan at Jan 31, 2008,